


The Stars Walk Backward

by salamandersaladman



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Aliens, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst, Asexual Character, Biphobia, Closeted Character, Dark Humor, F/F, F/M, Gay Aliens, Gay Bashing, Gay Character, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Character, M/M, Maybe Major Violence, Medium to light humor, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Queer Youth, Romance, Unrequited Love, bi character, google translated french, mentions of abuse, similar to chronicle, we'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-08-14 04:56:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 49,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7999390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salamandersaladman/pseuds/salamandersaladman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Two possibilities exist…<br/>Either we are alone in the universe or we are not.”<br/>-Arthur C. Clarke</p>
<p>Alexander Hamilton and his friends live in Yorktown, Ohio, a nothing town where nothing happens. But when something extraterrestrial invades their lives in a personal and unavoidable way, they will wish for normalcy once more . Because superpowers are all fun and great until you find out they come with a price, and people start dying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Silver Light

**Author's Note:**

> So for anyone who's reading I Know What I Want, sorry I'm a little shit who can't just work on one thing. That one is still my main fic, rest assured.
> 
> This is kindof a chronicle!AU, kindof scifi. Tile comes from a poem I like. Enjoy!

 “Two possibilities exist…  
Either we are alone in the universe or we are not.”  
-Arthur C. Clarke

 

**Monday, October 10th 2016**

**10:24am**

**Yorktown High**

 

“Alexander? Are you ready to go on?”

 

“O-of course.” Alexander smiled at the teacher, a middle aged man who he was certain taught Spanish, and ran his fingers through his hair. “I'm ready.”

 

He was ushered past a ragged curtain and out into the makeshift stage in the middle of the gymnasium, lights buzzing above him and the students chattering all around him.

 

Every year, the school had this big performance rally. It seemed like the perfect school wide event to ditch and smoke behind the bleachers, but Alex couldn't resist a competition. And the performance slots were highly sought after indeed. Tall snobby dancers, the creepy theater kids, high strung choir kids, and the misfits nobody really knew what to do with ( _like me_ ) all auditioned to show off their talents in front of their peers, making or breaking their high school careers.

 

_I shouldn't be so nervous. I will never see any of these fuckers after graduation. None of them like me anyway._

 

But Alexander knew it was not common stage fright making him nervous. No, there was an underlying dread, a gnawing deep in his belly and between his toes that made his vision swim.

 

_Do not think about last night. Do not think about last night._

 

“Next we have Alexander Hamilton, performing an original piece.” He stepped up to the mic.

 

He had made it to the stage, as he did every year, with a song he’d written about the hurricane that devastated his childhood. Usually he did slam poetry, but this was half rap half singing. It was a very vulnerable piece, accompanied by minimal music, that told of the chaos and fearful events he had witnessed.

 

_That's not the most recent fearful event you've witnessed._

 

He blinked his eyes shut tight, willing his mind to drown out the metallic screams, and pressed his lips to the mic and began, singing softly but boldly.

 

_Alexander, how can you go to school today?_

 

_I have to perform in the show. I….I won a slot._

 

_Jesus Christ Alex, who cares now? What does anything matter now?_

 

Maybe he was in shock. _That's the most reasonable explanation_ , he mused. He’d survived plenty of trauma in his lifetime and never suffered for it. He’d just woken up this morning, in the same clothes as the long night before, called Laf, brushed his teeth and had gone to school. It didn't occur to him that there was any other option, any other route for his life to continue upon. _It's just another day._

 

Usually during these assemblies, the kids gossiped and murmured, excited to escape class even for a measly twenty five minutes. But Alex was surprised, or he would be if he could feel anything, to notice that the entire student body was completely still. Not even the crinkle of a candy bar wrapper permeated the air. The only sound in the gym was his voice and a hundred baited breaths.

 

_This must be an amazing song. God, I wish my friends were here._

 

Nobody even seemed to notice the missing students, not that Alex’s friends were particularly popular. _You think they’d at least notice the star quarterback missing._

 

It would be reassuring, after everything, to see Lafayette grinning in the front row. Maybe mockingly raising a lighter. Or Eliza, wiping a tear from her cheek, gaze fixated on him. Hell, even Thomas Jefferson, pretending not to notice Alex over his phone, would be pleasant to see.

 

_Is Thomas my friend now, after what happened?_

 

The notion made him almost smile. _It would take the fucking apocalypse for us to be even vague acquaintances._

 

The definition of apocalypse jumped into his head: _the complete final destruction of the world_ . Did that mean one’s own personal world? _If our everyday reality was shattered, did we all just go through our own apocalypse?_

 

He ended his song on an abrupt note, intended to leave the audience thinking, and took a deep breath.

 

“Thank you.”

 

His words hung in the air, coiling around his consciousness and filling the silence, until the applause began. After the first clap, the entire auditorium sprung into almost violent cheering, every single student jumping to their feet, smacking their hands together vigorously.

 

 _This is….weird._ Alex knew his song was good, but he was self aware enough to know it wasn't _that_ good. These people barely got out of their chairs for the pledge of allegiance, barely clapped after a touching school play. _So what the fuck is this?_

 

“Do I just like, walk off the stage now?” He whispered the the teacher who had ushered him in, the uneasiness in him on the rise steadily. But the teacher was blinking away tears, making Alex step back in surprise.

 

“Young man,” the Spanish teacher clasped his hands on Alex’s shoulders. “That was truly touching. You are incredibly talented.”

 

“Uh, thanks.” Alex normally basked under praise, he thrived on it. But right now, his every blood cell was screaming at him to run.

 

_I'm not gonna fight my instincts._

 

“Well, see you around.” He broke out of the teacher’s grip and speed walked to the back door, the audience still roaring and screaming after him. _Get out of here get out of here._

 

He pushed open the exit door and leaned against the wall, panting heavily and trembling, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He had several missed calls from Laf and a text.

 

_9:48am_

 

-Alexander, get to the Schuylers’ house. Now.

 

Alex didn't bother waiting at the bus stop, he ran the entire way there.

 

**Sunday, October 9th 2016**

**9:55pm**

**Rowan Woods**

 

“Honestly why the _fuck_ does tradition trump common sense?” Jefferson growled, flinching angrily at the bristles tugging at his coat. “We couldn't have a bonfire at my house? With a cozy fireplace?”

 

“It's not just tradition, it's fucking cool.” Alex snapped back, purposefully releasing a tree branch and letting it _whomp_ Jefferson’s arm. “If it were tradition, _you_ wouldn't have been invited.”

 

“Alexander is jealous that it is not him who has a boyfriend tagging along.” Lafayette teased, dancing and ducking through the forest growth with ease. Alex pouted despite it being too dark out for anyone to notice.

 

“Shut up Laf.”

 

“Guys,” Peggy squeaked, flashlight frantically searching for their faces, blinding almost everyone. “Are we lost?”

 

“Honey, the boys and us have been making this trek in the dark since elementary school.” Angelica’s tone was composed half of comfort, half of her need to condescend. “We know the way.”

 

“You guys have been having a pre Halloween bonfire since _elementary_ and this is the first time I'm invited?” Alex heard him scoff loudly and snickered under his breath. “What the hell?”

 

“It's an exclusive club.” Mulligan puffed. “Composed only of the school queers. And Peggy.”

 

“Did you two sneak me out to come to a _gay_ bonfire?” She asked.

 

“The bonfire isn't gay,” Lafayette replied, turning around and shining his flashlight under his chin ominously. “We are.”

 

“Does asexual even count as gay?” Thomas asked and Alex felt Angelica freeze beside him, then heard a loud _thump_ and shined his flashlight on her smacking him with her backpack. “Ow! Jesus, I was just asking!”

 

“Madison,” She scowled, shoving past Alex and into the back of the lineup. “Control your boyfriend. If he talks about my sister like that ever again I'll kill him.”

 

“I didn’t find it offensive.” The most beautiful voice in the woods sounded beside him, and Alex shined his flashlight on Eliza to make sure she was being honest.

 

But she was smiling just as bright as ever, holding tight to Alex’s arm as she raised her skirts over the logs.

 

“I don't know why,” Alex said softly, only for her. “You insist on wearing skirts every year. And you trip every. Single. Year. Angelica wears pants. And hiking boots.”

 

“I am not my sister.” She patted his arm. “I like the feeling of lying under the stars in a skirt. It's romantic.” _You're too precious for this world._

 

Alex thought that maybe if he were less cynical, him and Eliza would be good together. But he was dark and she was light. She was pure and he was bitter, something he shared with Laf. Besides, he’d been harboring a massive crush on the devastatingly gorgeous linebacker since freshman year.

 

“The clearing is up ahead.” Laf announced from the front. “Is everybody here? Thomas, Peggy, Mulligan, Alex, Angie, Eliza, James?”

 

A chorus of affirmations sounded and, satisfied, Lafayette pushed aside the thick branches of the last tree in their way and stepped out into the clearing.

 

“Oh.” Peggy wiped the sweat from her forehead, blinking to adjust her eyes to the moonlight. “This was worth it.”

 

They had stumbled across the beautiful clearing as kids, Laf and Alex. Nobody in the little town that liked to think of itself as urban really cared about the forest, and much of it remained uncharted as a result. Lafayette and Alex, self declared explorers in their childhood, had set it upon themselves to map it out. They lost interest in such a vast project soon after finding the clearing, content with a secret place all to themselves.

 

It was an odd piece of woods, entering felt like entering another dimension, even to this day. No trees or weeds or flowers grew, just soft green grass, and the clearing was perfectly circular. It was as though someone had drawn a circle in the middle of the trees and had simply commanded them to stop growing, so abruptly did they stop. There was trees and overgrowth and bugs and small animals, and then suddenly there weren't.

 

“Fairies.” Lafayette had declared wisely as a kid, and Alex had only nodded in agreement.

 

“This will be our place.” He’d whispered, the words sacred, and they had made a vow to never let any adults enter the clearing. Now they were the adults. _Almost, we’re only seventeen._

 

When the stars were out, as they were tonight, the place was downright enchanting. Alex fondly watched his friends (and Thomas) take in the clearing after a year away. The moonlight was bright, the grass silver under it’s light, and the night sky was littered with thousands of white dots, like grains of sand on a beach.

 

“No wonder you kept this place secret.” Thomas whistled, and Laf and Alex exchanged sly grins.

 

They'd befriended the Schuyler Sisters, save Peggy for being too young, in fourth grade. Then Mulligan in fifth, Madison in junior high. The little group had a bonfire every October, on the first full moon, and it was Alex’s favorite moment of the year. No foster parents breathing down his neck, no assignments to lose sleep over in his endless desire to be the best, and best of all, no straight boys to break his glasses or shove Laf to the floor.

 

They were the outcasts, bonded together through small town rejection. If there was any club on campus for queer kids, they would all be in it, but this was the next best thing.

 

“Thanks for letting me come.” Thomas moved away from Alex quickly after speaking, as if wanting to pretend it hadn't happened, and Alex smiled.

 

Thomas was a different brand of misfit. He was rich, he was suave, and he was one of the smartest kids in school. Everyone was mildly afraid of him, everyone knew he could outwit them, ruin their lives with his pretty words, biting and ruthless and wrapped up in a neat little bow.

 

But he was gay.

 

He was one of the only kids who was out on campus. Sure, everyone suspected Alex. And Lafayette got plenty of shit for being a male cheerleader. But Thomas wasn't hiding anything. If he wasn't such a pompous ass, Alex might admire him. He could agree with the school wide hatred of Thomas Jefferson were it based off of his worthless character, but it wasn't. It was for the same reason Alex couldn't walk to his car alone at night, the same reason he needed Laf and this clearing.

 

_You're welcome._

 

“Pick your sleeping spot wisely.” Mulligan announced, removing the large stack of wood from the bag on his back, as well as his giant sleeping bag. _The human mule_ , Laf would affectionately call him, the only one able to get away with such teasing. “If you sleep too close to the fire, you might get a little singed. Too far away and the bugs’ll get you.”

 

“Thanks Bear Grylls.” Laf smirked and Mulligan gave him a stern look, obviously stifling a fond smile.

 

“Help me set up the fire Mr. ‘cheerleaders are athletes’.”

 

“ _Ne me sous-estime pas_.” Laf rolled up his sleeves and helped Mulligan stack the logs into a little triangle, both whispering and giggling at one another.

 

Rolling his eyes, Alex watched Eliza spread out a quilt some distance away and sit down, pulling his knees to her chest and resting her chin on them, eyes skyward.

 

“Didn't you hear Mulligan?” Alex sat beside her, cross legged. “This far away from the fire, the bugs will bite.” He poked her teasingly and she smiled, smacking his hand away.

 

“You are the one that bites Alexander. Besides, I haven't seen a single bug here. I was hoping for fireflies.”

 

“I could catch you some.” He offered. “There's this creek near here where they literally swarm.” Her brown eyes turned to him.

 

“Maybe you could take me there.” _Dangerous territory._

 

Eliza had a crush on him, it was common knowledge, and it had always made him a little nervous around her. He didn't trust himself enough not to mess with her feelings. And he had a healthy fear of Angelica Schuyler, who he had witnessed break John Adam’s nose for whistling at her.

 

“Maybe.” He said nonchalantly, returning his gaze to the stars. A pair of footsteps behind them announced Angelica and Peggy, curling up around Eliza.

 

“This place is beautiful Alex.” Peggy whispered and Angelica hummed in agreement.

 

“I remember the first time you brought me here.” Angie smirked at him and he nudged her arm, smirking back.

 

Next to Laf, she was his closest friend in the world. Once when they were eleven, she bit a boy who was teasing her about her hair. He had run off crying, but as soon as he was out of sight, she had come crying to Alexander.

 

“Th- they're gonna put me in jail for biting him.” She had sniffed. “And he said my hair was ugly.”

 

“I know where to hide.” Young Alex had replied solemnly and, tracking down Laf, the three had hidden out in the forest for almost six straight hours.

 

Mr. and Mrs. Schuyler were furious.

 

“You always were a little troublemaker.” Alex teased, feeling warm down to his toes with nostalgia. _This place will always be home_.

 

“James! Thomas!” Laf’s voice pierced the clearing. “Stop making out and help with this fire! Girls, come help unpack the food.”

 

“What can I do?” Alex asked as they all obediently marched towards the budding fire, James blushing furiously and Thomas looking more smug than ever. Lafayette raised an eyebrow at Alex.

 

“Nothing, you clumsy little shit. You always end up burning something and since last time that something was _me_ , you are banished from fire maintenance.” Alex pouted.

 

“You were fine I just singed your hair.” Laf thrust a bag of marshmallows into his hands.

 

“Singe these for us then, you're on s'more duty.”

 

“Hey look!” Peggy startled the bag of marshmallows out of his hands, pointing upwards with more than enough enthusiasm. “A shooting star!”

 

“Make a wish.” James said softly and Thomas slung an arm around his shoulders, everyone’s eyes lifted towards the heavens.

 

_I wish that John would come to the assembly tomorrow._

 

Alexander’s crush was one of the football players who regularly ditched assemblies, and Alex sought his approval desperately. Even if he knew essentially nothing about him.

 

“Um, not to a-alarm anyone.” James leaned closer into Thomas, hiding away in his boyfriend’s jacket. “But is that star g-getting closer?”

 

Alex opened his eyes and sure enough, the star that should have simply streaked across the sky was still dazzlingly bright, appearing almost as if it were speeding towards, not past them.

 

“It just a trick of the light.” Alex shrugged, stabbing marshmallows into skewers. “Like when the moon looks like it's right next to you. Out here, there's no city lights obscuring the sky.”

 

“Back in town there’s hardly any lights obscuring.” Angelica stole a marshmallow out of his hand, popping it into her mouth without it touching her lips. “We live in rural ohio.”

 

“ _Une flamme_.” Laf announced proudly as the logs they set up, surrounded by large stones, began to crackle into a growing fire.

 

“Looks like it needs more lighter fluid.” Alex grumbled and three different people shouted “ _NO_ ” in unison.

 

“Are marshmallows vegan?” Thomas asked loudly and Alex gave James an intense stare, hoping he would interpret the look as _I'm only tolerating that fucker because he's your boyfriend but I hate literally everything about him except how nice he is to you._ James pretended not to notice, gaze still fixated on the sky.

 

“Um, Laf.” Mulligan said softly as Alex handed out the marshmallow skewers. “Since you get cold easy, we could share a sleeping bag if you want?” Nobody heard but Alex, who was struggling to suppress a laugh.

 

Those two had been crushing on one another practically since they met, always flirting and never actually having the nerve to outright ask. It was sweet, if not slightly annoying, and Alex was perpetually amused by the idea of them together. Lafayette was flamboyant and untamable, regularly paying the consequences of running his mouth. Mulligan was gruff and large and quiet, more of a listener than anything, a calm presence in the group.

 

Also it was kinda hilarious; a cheerleader and the quarterback. _If they ever actually get around to admitting they like each other._

 

“ _Oui_ ,” Lafayette was studying his marshmallow in the flames, face flushed but not from the heat. “That is very generous of you. Thank you.”

 

“Marshmallows aren't v-v-vegan honey.” James explained softly and Thomas kissed his forehead.

 

James, like Mulligan, didn't speak much. But it wasn't out of a stoic persona. He had always been embarrassed of his stutter, always terrified of being mocked, so he coped by shutting up. At least in private, he wasn't as afraid to speak his mind. But Alex was worried sometimes that the boy had spent so long terrified to say how he felt, that he had forgotten how.

 

 _At least Thomas makes him bold._ When they had first begun to date, Alex nearly had an aneurysm. James was like a little brother to him, despite the boy being older, and Alex thought Thomas was the devil incarnate. But, despite being a complete asshole to everyone else, Thomas very sweet to James. Surprisingly so. Thomas protected him, and did essentially anything that boy asked of him. Alex loved James, but he had no idea what he had done to make Thomas so whipped. _At least he’s with somebody who would walk into traffic for him, if anyone deserves that kind of love, it is James._

 

“Okay so it's graham cracker, then two little squares of chocolate, then the marshmallow, then another cracker.” Eliza explained to Peggy, displaying each step expertly and then taking a bite, smearing melted marshmallow all over her mouth.

 

“You could teach a class on that.” Alex sat down next to her, cautiously placing his own skewer within the flames. “Except your marshmallow wasn't cooked enough.”

 

“Not everyone likes them completely burnt.” She rolled her eyes fondly.

 

“I like them dark and black on the outside and sweet and soft on the inside.” He said as his own marshmallow caught fire, turning almost liquid in consistency.

 

“Are we talking about me?” Lafayette teased, and the whole group laughed.

 

Alex turned to Lafayette, opening his mouth for a witty retort, and his lips shaped the words, but no sound came out.

 

Alex blinked and tried again to speak, raising his fingers to his lips as if something was wrong, and turned to Lafayette.

 

 _“What's wrong?”_ Lafayette mouthed, then flinched in surprise, no sound emerging.

 

Alex looked around the circle at his friends, all blinking in mild confusion. The fire had stopped crackling but it was still moving the same as before. The leaves of the trees were no longer rustling, Alex couldn't hear himself breathing. There was only silence, surrounding and coiling around them, all consuming and inescapable.

 

 _What's going on? What is going on?_ Alex was not accustomed to not understanding things. He thought maybe his eardrums had burst. He listened to his music terribly loud, and maybe he had finally and suddenly gone deaf. But no, the others seemed to be experiencing his same silent panic, eyes stretched wide and mouths shaping words that none could hear.

 

A hand grasped his sleeve and James, lips moving too frantically for Alex to read them, pointed up at the sky, gesturing wildly.

 

_Our shooting star._

 

It was burning almost directly above them, growing brighter and brighter but not seeming to move, like a miniature sun was hanging exclusively over the forest. Over the clearing.

 

Then it disappeared, abruptly and incomprehensibly. As though one were watching a movie with a sloppily cut scene, it was unperceivable but the audience felt wronged, a sense of being cheated visually.

 

As Alex blinked and the light vanished, a loud gasp sounded beside him as well as Thomas’ voice, shouting loudly and Eliza’s quiet murmurs. They all froze for a moment, realizing sound had returned, then everyone spoke at once.

 

“What the _hell_ was that?!”

 

“Angie I want to go home.”

 

“Wh-where did the sound go?!”

 

“Alexander, what's going on?”

 

Then Alex wished the sound was gone once again.

 

A noise, impossibly loud, tore through the air. It was close, as if it were right by his ears and simultaneously coming from within him, deep in his chest and bones. Alex covered his ears on instinct, watching his friends do the same, although it was fruitless. The sound was not just around him, it was inside him. He screamed but couldn't hear it, so deafening was the roar.

 

It sounded like fabric tearing, slowly and deliberately. The sound moved from the air around them and into the trees nearby, where the light, presumably from the shooting star, was shining from between the trees, the tearing slowly dying out as the light twinkled and blinked across the clearing.

 

“Let's get the _fuck_ out of here.” Angelica whispered after a moment when the sound was finally gone, none of them daring to look away from the light.

 

“Wait,” Alex said softly, standing up. “Maybe we should check it out.”

 

“ _Alex_ ,” Alex rarely heard Lafayette sound afraid, it uneased him almost as much as the mystery light. “Let's go. I don't know what's going on, and I don't really want to.”

 

“I-I’m with Laf.” James was shaking badly, teeth clattering together, and Thomas rubbed his arms with equally shaking hands. “W-we saw s-s-something we weren't su-supposed t-to.” His stutter was worse than ever, aggravated by fear.

 

Peggy was crying, Eliza shushing her gently, and Alex went to pick up the sleeping bags and Laf touched his hand.

 

“Leave it. Let's just get out of here.”

 

Alex glanced back at the light one last time, white and blinding, before nodding and crossing the clearing towards the trees, his friends practically running. _We saw something we weren’t supposed to,_ James’ words haunted him.

 

They were almost to the forest, to the sanctuary of the trees, when a scream pierced the air. Alex stopped dead in his tracks. It sounded like a woman, screaming in pain, slightly metallic, and it was coming from the opposite direction of where they were running.

 

“Alex,” Laf hissed. “Let's _go_.”

 

“Someone's hurt.” Alex whispered, and the group exchanged uneasy glances. _Look at this cognitive dissonance._

 

“He's right.” Eliza said, closing her eyes shut tight. “Someone's in trouble. We can't go.”

 

“We sure as fuck can.” Thomas yelled. “We don't even know if whatever made that scream is _human_.” Peggy let out a frightened sob at his words and Angelica sighed.

 

“Look Thomas nobody is forcing you to do anything. Just let Alex go check it out himself if he has a goddamn death wish.”

 

“No,” Mulligan's voice was final. “We stay together.”

 

“Okay,” Lafayette said after a moment. “So we take a vote.”

 

“Who thinks we should go back?” Alex asked.

 

Eliza raised her hand. Then slowly, Lafayette and Mulligan and James raised their hands. Thomas cursed loudly.

 

“You okay Peggy? Can't she wait here?” Eliza pleaded but Peggy wiped her eyes.

 

“No I'm alright.” Peggy whispered. “Just stay next to me ‘Liza.”

 

Nobody seemed eager to move and everyone’s eyes slowly turned to Alex. _Oh. I guess this was my decision_. Nodding to himself, Alex forced his feet to turn around and slowly walk back across the clearing. He had never been so grateful to have Lafayette beside him, the boy’s warmth close against his side was the only thing keeping him from trembling.

 

As they neared the light, crossing into the trees, it grew dimmer. Alex followed it's source with baited breath until the light dulled to a faint glow, emanating from a silver orb, the size of a small tree.

 

“ _Holy shit_.” Angelica breathed.

 

Thomas pulled out his phone to take a picture then gasped and dropped it, steam rising from the crackling black case.

 

“That thing fried my iphone!” He gasped, and Alex couldn't resist smiling.

 

“Our first contact with alien shit and it wrecks Thomas’ phone.” He mumbled, and scattered laughter sounded weakly from the people behind him.

 

They relaxed slightly, in the face of a non threatening, motionless orb. Alex circled it, searching for a source of the scream, and found nothing. It was perfectly smooth and chrome, no lines or bolts indicating it opened or was anything more than some gigantic nightlight. It was resting perfectly atop the leaves, motionless. The light, now a pale silver, seemed to be coming from just under the surface, creating a soft buzzing sound.

 

“Alex don't!” Eliza shrieked as he raised his hand to touch it, causing everyone to flinch at the sudden break of silence. He ignored her and slowly placed his hand on the orb, fingers spread apart.

 

Nothing happened.

 

“It's cold.” He announced, and Lafayette walked up to him and mirrored his action, _hmm_ ing curiously.

 

“It’s smooth. It feels like a car.”

 

After several moments passed of them not dropping dead, everyone slowly approached the orb and mimicked Alex’s lead, resting a palm against the surface.

 

“What do you think it is?” Peggy whispered to him, the glow of it reflecting in her eyes. Alex shrugged.

 

“Something alien? Maybe some government experiment?”

 

“This is some _Stranger Things_ shit.” Mulligan muttered and Angelica snorted.

 

“I think we’re in more of a _Super 8_ situation. A bunch of high schoolers find an alien.”

 

“Pretty sure those kids were in middle school.”

 

“Wish I could take a goddamn picture.” Thomas grumbled, but he seemed more amused than upset now. “Hashtag extra terrestrial.”

 

“W-we don't kn-know if it's alien.” James said softly, reminding them of the gravity of the situation. Reminding them that they were meant to be afraid.

 

“So if this is all that's here,” Eliza whispered. “Who screamed?”

 

As if in response, the orb started humming softly, and they all jerked their hands away, taking several steps back.

 

“Is it...is it doing something?” Peggy asked, as if any of them knew the answer. Alex ignored her, staring intently at the orb.

 

It continued to make the same mechanical hum, volume remaining stagnant, and Alex thought he could make out a voice within the sound. He stepped closer, and suddenly the hum changed frequencies, growing to a shrill shriek, loud and agonizing.

 

They all covered their ears once more and Alex jumped backwards, but the sound didn’t die. They shut their eyes as the silver glow grew brighter and brighter. It was so bright that it pierced Alex from behind his eyelids, forcing him to turn his back to escape the blinding force. The entire world had gone white.

 

He dared peek his eyes open and beside him saw Peggy, hands at her side and eyes wide open, staring open mouthed at the orb. He tried to call out to her but the siren sound was too deafening. The blinding light reflected in her eyes, like an eerie gothic caricature of his friend, and as the light and sound faded, she fainted and collapsed to the forest floor.

 

“Okay, now we _really_ need to go.” Angelica snapped, kneeling beside her sister and feeling her forehead. Alex heard Laf gasp.

 

“It’s gone.”

 

Alex whipped back around and there was nothing where the orb had been. Not even a leaf was crinkled or broken to signify it had been there at all. The sounds of the forest resumed as normal, and it was now almost pitch black around them.

 

“My head hurts.” Peggy mumbled as Angelica and Eliza helped her to her feet, an arm around each of their necks.

 

“Let's go.” Mulligan’s hand found his shoulder and Alex agreed, thoroughly shaken.

 

They all matched across the clearing, ignoring their stuff and the dwindling fire, and solemnly marched back towards Laf’s Volkswagen van. They climbed in without speaking, Peggy laying down in the expansive back with her head on Angelica's lap. Alex relinquished his position in the passenger seat to Mulligan so he could sit with her, disturbed by his memory of the orbs light in her eyes.

 

“Peggy,” He said softly. “Why did you look at the orb when it was so bright?”

 

“You _looked_?” Thomas asked incredulously. “How did that not burn out your eyes?”

 

“I...I don't know.” She was trembling and Angelica glared at them. “I just couldn't look away.” She started crying, covering her mouth, and Eliza ran her fingers through the girl's hair.

 

“Let's just all go home and sleep and never talk about this again.” Lafayette suggested. Nobody replied, but they were all in agreement.

 

_That was so fucking strange. It can't be real. There has to be some kind of weird explanation._

 

“Um,” Lafayette turned to Alex after everyone had been dropped off, only him and Mulligan remaining. “Do you boys wanna spend the night at my place? I...I don't think we should be alone.”

 

“Yes.” Mulligan answered quickly just as Alex shook his head.

 

“I’d rather just go home Laf. I don't wanna think about anything.” Lafayette nodded reluctantly and drove him to his front door.

 

“I'll….call you in the morning.” Laf was leaning out the car window, looking like he wanted to say more but couldn't form the words. Alex understood. He wanted to talk as well but there was nothing to say. And he was just so tired.

 

“Goodnight.” Alex waved and watched them drive off from his front porch before climbing up his stairs and into bed, trying not to wake his foster parents.

 

That night he dreamt of aliens, little green men, all fighting over who got to talk to Alex first. John was there in his dream, gazing at him. But when Alex went to talk to him, no sound came out. He just moved his lips and nothing happened.

 

**Friday, September 7th 2013**

**7:49pm**

**Yorktown High Stadium**

 

Alexander had never cared much for sports. He wasn't athletic, and most of the boys involved in any sport were repulsed by him, and made that very clear.

 

If he’d had his way, he would never attend a single game, where school pride and the weird culture of worshipping athletes was shoved down his throat. They were only freshman, he had plenty of time to plan and avoid every single school sanctioned event. But Lafayette had made the cheer team, something he was immensely proud of, and Alex couldn't miss his best friend’s first event.

 

 _I'm here for Lafayette._ He told himself, trying to hide in his coat, trying to shrink and remain invisible. _This is his game._

 

“GO RAMS!” Mulligan had screamed beside him, causing Alex to jump and spill his popcorn. _I’m too on edge. Calm down Alex._

 

The cheerleaders were standing at the front of the bleachers on the dirt track surrounding the green field, swaying their hips and pompoms in perfect unison, teeth white and bright in tight smiles.

 

Laf was right there with them, the only boy and the only one in pants instead of a very short skirt. _I bet he’d wear the skirt._ Alex chuckled at his own thought and reminded himself to tease Laf about it later.

 

Alex had looked around the packed bleachers, terrified for his best friend. Him and Laf had always had strong opinions, and had been shoved in dumpsters for daring to make their presence known in the past. In such a small, homophobic town, there were unspoken but vital rules. He and Laf could exist, nobody could stop them from that, but the price of existing was inconspicuousness. They had to keep their heads down, not call attention to themselves, not remind the student body that they were alive and that they were queer.

 

Lafayette was breaking that rule, and Alex only hoped the pummeling the football team would surely deliver in some pathetic attempt to re- assert their masculinity wouldn't dissuade Laf from cheering again, because he looked so damn happy.

 

 _One day this town might just murder us._ He thought, watching his friend land in a perfect split in front of a human pyramid of white blonde girls.

 

“LAFAYETTE!!” Mulligan screamed, standing up and making loud _whoop_ noises repeatedly. Lafayette looked almost bashful.

 

The rules didn't apply to Mulligan, whether anybody even knew he was gay was a perpetual mystery. But he wasn't effeminate, he wasn't small, he didn't do cheer or sing or even smile all that much in the hallways. He was going to try out for quarterback next semester, once his grades were up, and he would probably get it. He would have the most social status, and therefore immunity, in the entire school. _Cheer extra loud for me buddy._

 

When the game actually began, Alex had essentially no idea what was going on. It seemed like a glorified game of fetch, but all the boy’s butts were nice to gawk at. Even if they were all misogynistic homophobic creeps. Alex even dared to stand up and shout when jersey number 38, best ass on the team, scored a _point? Goal? Something._

 

The two had raced down onto the field with the rest of the students once the game ended in victory, heading straight for Lafayette.

 

“We won!” Laf laughed, shaking his pom poms at them. Alex grabbed him into a tight hug.

 

“God Laf, you were amazing. You didn't tell me you were so _flexible_.” He waggled his eyebrows and Laf smacked him, turning to Mulligan.

 

“You came.” He said softly and Mulligan simply smiled.

 

“Great game!!” Lafayette called out to a passing player, buzzing with energy, and Alex froze when the boy actually stopped and turned to face them. _Oh god oh god oh god._ He could practically taste the blood, but damn if he was going to let anybody ruffle Laf’s freshly ironed uniform.

 

“Hey, thanks.” The boy, number 38, took off his helmet and grinned at Lafayette, a genuine smile with no hidden animosity. “Great cheering over there.”

 

“ _Merci_.” Laf smiled and the boy turned to Alex, noticing him.

 

“Great game.” Alex stammered lamely under his gaze.

 

The boy was incredibly attractive, with curly hair tumbling over his shoulders and freckles scattered across his gorgeous, gorgeous face.

 

“Thanks. I'm John.” He shook Alex, Laf, and Mulligan’s hand, eyes never leaving Alexander.

 

“Alex.” He replied, tongue tied. _Football players don't talk to us. Football players kick our asses in the parking lot._

 

“Laurens!” A voice called from the field and the boy cocked his head, then smiled apologetically.

 

“Well, hope to see you at the next game! Nice meeting ya’ll. Bye Alex.” He added and winked _winked_ , before running across the field.

 

“John Laurens.” Laf whispered in his ear, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Fucking gorgeous, eh?”

 

**Monday, October 10th 2016**

**11:00am**

**Angelica Schuyler’s Bedroom**

 

“I can't believe you went to school. Selfish bastard.” Alex knew Laf well enough to know that his biting tone was only partially serious. He was speaking from anxiety, not genuine anger.

 

Everyone from the night before, sans Peggy, was scattered across Angelica's room. The sisters say beside each other on the bed, wearing matching stone expressions of worry. James sat on an arm chair with Thomas cross legged at his feet. Lafayette was pacing in front of the bed, slightly manic, and Herc was leaning against the wall, watching him. Alex shoved his hands in his pockets.

 

“I didn't know anybody was hurt. I had the assembly. I told you this morning, when you called me.”

 

“What happened?” James asked softly, Thomas’s hand reached up to hold his own.

 

“Yeah did she just like, faint again?” Thomas was trying to sound casual, aloof, but Alex could see in his red rimmed eyes that he hadn't slept.

 

“She um,” Eliza sounded impossibly tired, her voice actually striking real guilt into Alex for trying to pretend nothing had happened. _I shouldn't have gone to that assembly._ “She had a seizure. It's never happened before, so we took her to the hospital. Our parents wouldn't let us stay.”

 

“We’re supposed to be in school.” Angelica explained, glaring at Alex pointedly. He ran a hand through his hair.

 

“Jesus, do you think….do you think that thing caused it?” He asked and Thomas snorted.

 

“What else could have? The sweet summer air?”

 

“Don't be a fucking ass.” Alex snapped back and Lafayette stopped pacing.

 

“Now isn't the time to bitch at one another.” Laf crossed his arms. “We need to figure this out. We need to go back.”

 

“Absolutely not.” Angelica said, and Thomas nodded in agreement vigorously. “If that thing did do something to Peggy, we’re putting ourselves in danger by going back.”

 

“Maybe if we went back, we could find out how to help her.” Eliza said softly, and they all looked to Alex.

 

“What? It's not up to me.”

 

“It kinda is _mon amie_.”

 

“I mean considering,” Thomas studied his nails. “That this is entirely your fault, it is up to you.” Alex bristled.

 

“How is it _my_ fault?!”

 

“You suggested we go look in the first place!” Thomas yelled and Alex waited for someone to disagree, to say that nobody was to blame.

 

They didn't.

 

“Fine.” Alex shrugged, overwhelmed with emotion. “I'll go check it out _alone_ so nobody else gets hurt. Since its evidently _my fault_.”

 

“I'll go with you.” Laf offered, an olive branch, and Alex shook his head.

 

“No, I don't want anything to happen to you.” He sighed. “You guys wait here. I left my shit at the school. I'm gonna go grab it then catch a bus to the woods, then come back. It shouldn’t take long.”

 

“Thanks for the play by play.” Thomas said dryly and James smacked him.

 

“Alexander.” Eliza stood up and crossed the room to him. “Please be careful.”

 

“I'll be back by nightfall.” _No way I'm getting caught there alone in the dark._ “Wait here for me.”

 

The walk back to school was bitter and long, Alex kicking up dirt as he went. _I hear a scream in the forest and want to go help and now I'm public enemy number one. God, even Lafayette didn't stick up for me._

 

 _They just need a scapegoat for their fear,_ he tried to comfort himself, but it was too personal and he was too overwhelmed.

 

He hadn't even begun to process what they had witnessed the night before, let alone the fact that his friend was in the hospital possibly as a result. _What does that mean for the rest of is? Are we in danger?_

 

The walk was fast considering how buried he was in his thoughts, and he made it back just as the period after the assembly was ending.

 

_This is odd._

 

Usually Alex existed on the fringes of Yorktown High’s consciousness. He didn't draw attention to himself unless necessary, and could slip in and out of classes like a ghost. But as he walked down the hallway towards his locker, every single person was staring at him. They would stop, mid conversation, even nudging one another, to gawk at him. It made him deeply uneasy, made him wonder who he must have pissed off.

 

Except, they weren't looking at him with hostility. That was already strange enough, but it seemed as though every person passing by was watching him with thinly masked adoration. _What the fuck?_ It had to be in his head. It had been a weird day, he was seeing things.

 

He opened his locker and grabbed his books when they were slammed out of his hand and his back was thrust against the metal behind him.

 

“Well hello Hamilton.” Lee, a brute of a man who occupied some position on the football team Alex didn't care about loomed over him, accompanied by Eacker, another ass. “So sorry we missed your little poem in the gym. We ditch every _queer_ assembly we can.” They actually high fived at that comment. _Witty._

 

“Well you missed a lot,” Alex shoved Lee’s arm off of his chest. “I actually read a poem about how studies show most athletes are actually closeted homosexuals.”

 

“I ain't no fag.” Lee growled and Alex flinched at the spit that flew at him, making a show of wiping it off his face.

 

“No of course not. That's why you're pressed up so close against me.” Lee and Eacker both jumped back like they had been stung, eyes flickering around nervously to make sure no one had heard.

 

Alex hated these idiots, but messing with their incredibly fragile masculinity was almost worth being shoved around. _I wonder if they would believe me if I told them being gay was contagious and that it's transmittable through touch_.

 

“Oh c’mon Charles, George. Don't be dicks.”

 

Alex turned around sharply to inform the voice that he could fight his own battles _thank you very much_ but the words died in his throat, something rare.

 

“We were just messin around Laurens. Don't be so uptight.” Eacker grumbled, but they trudged off regardless. _Back to the cave they crawled out of._

 

“Uh, thanks.” Alex looked up at John Laurens, blinking in surprise, and the boy knelt down to pick up his fallen books. “I can get those.” Alex quickly protested but John shrugged.

 

“It's okay, I already have ‘em.” He handed them to Alex, who was positive his cheeks were pink, as the bell rang for the next class.

 

“Well uh thanks. Again.”

 

“Yeah I'm sorry about them.” John made no motion to go, leaning against the lockers and smiling apologetically. “You don't deserve that.” _Why are you talking to me?_

 

“I-it's okay.” Alex shoved his books into his backpack, looking anywhere but those brown eyes. “Well I should probably get going.”

 

“I'll walk you to class.” John offered and Alex’s heart lept into throat and he briefly considered ditching the woods and going to class for the sole purpose of being walked there by John Laurens. _Keep it together Hamilton. He's being sweet now but if you gaze at him he’ll kick your ass._

 

“I'm actually not going to class.” He shrugged, smiling weakly. “So I'll see you later.”

 

He started walking down the hall, footsteps echoing on the linoleum, and John fell into step beside him.

 

“Then where are you going?” _Dear divine forces, why today of all days does John fucking Adonis Laurens have to want to talk to me?_

 

“It's a long story.” John just looked at him expectantly and he sighed, stopping at the doors to face the boy. “I'm walking to Rowan woods. I was there last night and….left some camping gear.”

 

“You're walking?” John tilted his head, frowning. “Let me give you a ride.” _If I got in your car buddy I'd just be fantasizing the entire time about the backseat._

 

“What?” Alex stared at him. “No, you have class. I'm fine I walk everywhere.”

 

“On behalf of every one of my fellow team members who has ever made your life hell, let me give you a ride.” John was grinning at him cheesily and suddenly Alex couldn't remember why he had resisted in the first place.

 

“Okay.”

 

And that was how he found himself in the passenger seat of _John Lauren’s_ beautiful brand new truck. _Must be nice having rich parents._ The seats were cool and leather, but Alex immediately noticed the backseat was not very spacious. _Pity_.

 

“What were you doing in the woods?” John asked and Alex watched the way he brushed his curly hair out of his eyes. He gulped.

 

“Oh uh, every year my friends and I kinda have a campout. It's nothing.” He felt the need to explain himself to this rich, popular, incredibly attractive straight boy. John just smiled at him.

 

“Hey, that sounds really cool. I wish I had friends who were into stuff like that.”

 

“It's pretty fun if you don't mind the bug bites.” Alex shrugged. He wanted to keep talking to John, but they probably had nothing in common. _It's good that this is happening. Now you can face how groundless your stupid crush really is._

 

“You're friends with Lafayette right? The male cheerleader?”

 

“Yeah, he's my best friend.” Alex said proudly but cautiously. He suddenly felt a pang of fear. He was alone in a car with a football player, significantly larger and stronger than him.

 

“He's awesome.” John nodded admiringly, making Alex blink slowly. “I think he's so brave.”

 

“He's just being himself.” Alex crossed his arms. “It wouldn't have to be defined as brave if people didn't harass him for just being who he is.” John was silent for a moment.

 

“You're right.” He spoke softly. “I'm so sorry for how my team treats you guys.”

 

“It's not your fault.” Alex felt guilty at speaking so harshly. “Sorry I've just...been having a weird day.”

 

“What happened?”

 

Before Alex could answer, he recognized the pattern of the trees well enough to know they were close to the clearing.

 

“Uh, you can let me out right here.”

 

John pulled the car over and then put it into park, unbuckling his own seat belt. Alex just gawked at him and when John finally noticed, Alex thought he saw shyness flicker in his eyes.

 

“What? Did you think I was just gonna drop you off in the middle of the woods alone?” Alex sighed. _I can't let him follow me, it's too dangerous. Not like I had a chance anyway._

 

“Look, John, not to be a dick, but why are you being nice to me? It's not like this is the first time your teammates have ever harassed me in front of you. Am I like, your pity case now? Befriend the queer kid so you can feel like Mother Teresa?” Now it was John’s turn to gawk.

 

“Wh-what? Alex, no.” He leaned back against the seat and ran his fingers through his hair nervously. “I don't like, pity you. I just think you're cool.” He wasn't looking at Alex when he spoke which was a blessing, because Alex was certain he was blushing. Anime level character blushing, where red filled up his entire face.

 

“Okay.” Alex said softly, opening the car door. “Let's go.”

 

They trudged across the woods in silence that was only a little awkward, arms occasionally brushing against each other, and Alex wished he could enjoy this more. But with every step his heart leapt higher and higher into his throat, making it hard to breathe. _What if something happens to John? Why must the beautiful always be in danger?_

 

They reached the trees at the edge of the clearing and Alex stopped, taking a deep breath, and looked up at John.

 

“Look uh, this place I'm taking you to is very special to me and my friends. Nobody else knows about it. So if you could just...keep it secret.” John pantomimed locking his mouth and throwing away the key and Alex smiled fondly, then stepped out into the clearing.

 

John gasped, looking around, and Alex felt immensely proud at his awe. As if he were personally responsible for how beautiful the clearing was.

 

“Oh, you have to take me here sometime at night.” John whispered. “I bet it's just beautiful.” _I would take you to the moon if you asked me to._

 

“Oh, it's gorgeous at night.” Alex agreed, nodding. “The stars are just _right there_ like they're hanging over you on a thread.” He was gesturing towards the sky and John looked at him.

 

“I like the way you describe things. Like, when they put your poems in the school newspaper.” John was nudging a rock with his foot, looking down at it. “I love it.” _Holy fuck._

 

“Which poem?” Alex asked, almost physically feeling his brain cells leave his body when John looked up at him.

 

“All of them. I loved them all.” He gave Alex a cheesy grin. “Maybe I'm you're biggest fan.”

 

“Ah, so you're the one.” Alex joked and John laughed, music to Alex’s ears.

 

They reached the center of the clearing, where all the belongings remained the same, like a tableau representing the reality of the night before, everything left behind. It was much less frightening in the daylight, being here, but Alex felt a shiver looking at their burnt out fire pit and disheveled blankets.

 

“Is this what we came here for?” John asked and Alex bit his lip. _Time to lose your fan_.

 

“Um, no. I lied.” Alex looked up at John nervously. “The truth is, last night we saw something...weird in the woods. And so we ran. But now one of my friends is in the hospital, and we don't know why, so I came back to see if there’s a...connection.” _Oh god he thinks you're crazy. And now you have to walk home_.

 

“Weird how?” John asked, and Alex shook his head.

 

“If I told you, you'd think I'm crazy.”

 

“Try me.”

 

Alex, in the distance, thought he could hear a faint humming noise. He tried to keep his hands steady.

 

“I'll just show you.”

 

Alex lead John to the opposite side of the clearing, unable to make out the humming anymore and beginning to think he had just imagined it. They pushed through the trees until they reached where the orb had been last night, just beyond the treeline, and John sucked in a breath.

 

“It's different.” Alex whispered, more confused than ever.

 

There was an orb there, in the exact same spot, only it was smaller, this time hovering above the leaves at a height slightly below Alex’s head. It was the same chrome silver, smooth and perfect, and Alex couldn't decide if this meant it was the same orb shrunken, or if it had simply come from the same place.

 

“Oh my god.” John breathed and Alex touched his arm.

 

“Last night, there was a much bigger one here. I think it crashed, out of the sky.”

 

“And you guys didn't tell anyone?” John looked vaguely afraid, stepping closer to Alex, who shrugged.

 

“Who would believe it? And it disappeared before we even left.”

 

“Disappeared?”

 

“It just vanished into thin air.” Alex watched John watch the orb in wonder and couldn't resist a slight smirk. “You could touch it, if you want.” John’s head whipped back to look at Alex.

 

“What?!”

 

“We touched it last night, it was fine.”

 

“Isn't one of your friends in the hospital?” Alex frowned.

 

“Well, that wasn't because she touched it, or we would all be in there. And I was the first one to touch it. I think it's because she looked at it longer than any of us.”

 

_“Well, that wasn't because she touched it, or we would all be in there. And I was the first one to touch it. I think it's because she looked at it longer than any of us.”_

 

Both of their eyes grew wide as saucers when the orb repeated Alex’s words, his voice sounding like a tape recorder only higher pitched, more mechanical. They stared at the orb, as if waiting for it to attack, but it remained motionless, not speaking again.

 

“Hello?” John tried after a moment. Silence. He moved to step closer but Alex grabbed his arm.

 

“Be careful. It didn't do this last night.” Alex looked at the orb. “I….I don't understand.”

 

The orb rotated slightly towards Alex, as if it were facing him, but it lacked any distinguishable features to prove it was looking at him at all.

 

 _“That's because,”_ It said in Alex’s voice. “ _You're an idiot.”_

 

Then in vanished.

 

They both stared, dumbstruck, at the space it was once occupied, until Alex blinked.

 

“Did….did it call me an idiot?” John surprised him by bursting out into laughter, and Alex crossed his arms. “What's so funny?”

 

“Y-you find an alien,” He choked out between laughs. “And make contact. And the first thing it does is call you an idiot.” Alex was red but he couldn't resist smiling at how thoroughly amused John was.

 

“Shut up.” He smacked him and John just laughed harder.

 

“You just got fucking dragged by an alien.” He wheezed and that was it, Alex was laughing now too, grateful to John for making him feel less afraid of an alien stealing his voice. _No, it just made you look like an ass_. Which was, actually, incredibly amusing. It felt nice to laugh instead of being utterly terrified, or think about what this might mean.

 

“We should go.” Alex said, chucking, when their laughter finally died down. John wiped a tear from his eye, hand over his chest.

 

“Yeah okay. Let's get your camping stuff.”

 

John helped Alex carry everything back to the truck, stuffing it in the much too small backseat.

 

“Alright, so, where do you live?” John asked, fingers tapping on the steering wheel, and Alex had to force himself to realize he was only asking so he could _take him home_ , not so they could spend hours making out in Alex’s bedroom.

 

“Uh, actually, could you take me to the Schuyler’s house? It's 1789 Maple Avenue. My friends are waiting for me there.”

 

“Sure thing.” John said and Alex’s phone buzzed once they were back in the range of reception. He had three missed calls from Laf.

 

“Uh, do you mind if I call my friend back?” He asked and John shook his head.

 

“Laf,” He said, hearing the boy answer on the first ring. “What's up?”

 

“Alex,” Lafayette sounded even more tired, Alex wished he were already there to comfort his friend. _Maybe Mulligan will do it for me, if either of them grow a pair._ “It’s Peggy. She is in a coma.”

 

“ _What_?!”

 

“The doctors say they do not know what is wrong with her, but they predict she will wake up soon. She has no brain damage. In fact, they can't find _anything_ wrong with her. She should be awake and fine.”

 

“Jesus.” Alex ran a hand through his hair. “Well, I'm on my way now. Is everyone still at the house?”

 

“ _Oui_. The Schuylers don't want any of us, even Eliza and Angie, to visit Peggy. They think it would not be good for us. So please, tell me you found something?” Laf pleaded.

 

“I did. I'll tell you about it when we get there.”

 

“We?” Alex licked his lips nervously.

 

“Yeah um, John Laurens gave me a ride.”

 

There was silence on the other end, he could almost feel Lafayette smirking.

 

“Ah well, let me know when you're here.” Laf’s tone was lighter, teasing, and Alex hung up abruptly. John was looking at him.

 

“Everything okay?”

 

“That friend of mine who's in the hospital is in a coma now.” He said grimly and John let out a little gasp.

 

“Oh god, is she….”

 

“The doctors think she’ll be fine.” Alex shrugged, but inside he felt deeply nervous. They were in the neighborhood now, just a couple blocks away. “It's just….this is all my fault.” John stopped the car.

 

“What?!” He was staring at Alex. “How is this your fault?”

 

“I'm the one who suggested we all go look at the orb!” He snapped. “We saw it behind the trees, we knew something was wrong, and I made everyone go look.”

 

“You can't make people do anything they don't want to.” John shook his head. “If they went with you, it was willingly. And Alex, _anybody_ would have wanted to go look. It's common sense!” Alex just shrugged, unconvinced, and John sighed, resuming driving once more and parking in front of the house. “Did your friends tell you that?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well Alex,” John touched his arm. “It's not your fault. Seriously. No matter what happens, don't blame yourself. Blame that weird floating circle.” Alex smiled slightly and unbuckled, reluctant to leave John’s warm company.

 

“Hey,” He looked at John, swallowing his anxiety. “Why don't you go in with me?”

 

“In the house?” John asked nervously and Alex nodded.

 

“You saw everything I saw today. You're part of this now.” John nodded, turning the key and shoving it into the pocket of his letterman jacket.

 

“Uh, okay. Let's go.”

 

Alex walked in without knocking, typical behavior, and marched up the stairs with John in tow to Angelica’s room. They all stared at them like they were escaped zoo animals.

 

“Hey John.”

 

“Hey Mulligan.” John replied awkwardly and Angelica looked at Alex.

 

“What's he doing here?” She asked, not unkindly.

 

“He went with me to the woods, he saw what I saw. If anybody didn't know, this is John. He’s in this now.” Everyone nodded except Thomas, who snorted.

 

“Great, so we send you out into the woods and you turn it into a date.” _Thanks for officially outing me you piece of shit._ He thought bitterly, but he knew John already knew. Everybody knew.

 

“So tell us what happened.” Lafayette patted the floor beside him and Alex sat down, John following suit.

 

“We went back and a different orb was there this time.” They all murmured nervously. “It was smaller and hovering in the air. It was maybe the size of a bowling ball.”

 

“And it spoke.” John contributed nervously, and the room fell silent.

 

“It...it spoke?” Eliza sounded like she had been crying. “What did it say? What did it want?”

 

“It probably didn't even speak English.” Thomas said in that know it all tone he excelled in.

 

“It did actually.” Alex snapped, glaring at him.

 

“Well then, what did it say?” Angelica stared at him expectantly and Alex blushed, refusing to look up from the carpet.

 

“It uh….it called me an idiot.” Thomas guffawed and Mulligan smacked him upside the head, standing right behind him.

 

“Really?” Angelica raised an eyebrow. “Smart alien.”

 

“Look,” Alex bristled, his friends all snickering. “First it was mimicking my voice. Then when it spoke, it was using it.”

 

“So there’s an Alex impressionist robot on the loose.” Thomas rolled his eyes. “Jesus, if those took over the world I would kill myself.”

 

“Th-that's not funny.” James whispered and for the first time in Alex’s knowing him, Thomas looked sorry. _He really is whipped._

 

“Then it just disappeared. Into thin air!” John exclaimed.

 

“Yeah we saw that last night buddy.” Thomas said dismissively and looked at Angelica. “So what does this mean?”

 

“It means whatever it is, alien or robot or weird human creation, it's intelligent.” She said, tapping her fingernails against each other. “And it means thanks to Alex, it now knows english.”

 

“Hey,” John spoke up, tone sharp. “You can't blame Alex for that too. He went back into the woods, where you all sent him _alone_ , and went to the alien thing for _you guys_.” They all looked mildly guilty, even Laf, and Alex gazed at John like he had just cured cancer. John winked at him.

 

Of all the things that had happened to him in the past twenty four hours, John Laurens defending his honor was by far the strangest.

 

“So what do we do?” Eliza asked, and Alex sighed.

 

“I don't think we can do anything. I think we just go to school, be normal, until Peggy wakes up. We shouldn't go back to the clearing for a while.”

 

“So you think we should act like nothing happened.” Angelica blinked at him, then nodded. “Alright. I think we should do what Alex says. Just be normal.”

 

“Unless anything weird happens.” Mulligan added, and they all nodded.

 

“And,” Alex chimed in. “I think everyone in here should agree it doesn't leave this room. No one else can know.”

 

“You mean, besides the football player you dragged into this?” John looked at Thomas.

 

“I swear I won’t tell anybody. You guys can trust me.”

 

“He's trustworthy.” Mulligan said, and that was that.

 

“All right, we all swear.” Laf said, and they stood up to leave, reluctance filling the air.

 

“I can give you a ride home.” John offered Alex, but Laf caught his sleeve.

 

“Actually, I was wanting to take Alexander home. We have a group project to work on.” They didn't, so Alex wondered what Laf’s angle was. _You better have a damn good reason for taking me away from McDreamy._

 

“Alright then.” John smiled at Alex. “I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, wait!” He pulled out his phone. “I don't have your number.”

 

Everyone in the room pretended not to watch the way Alex blushed furiously, typing his number in John's phone, then accepting a hug from the boy. _Physical contact!!!!_

 

“I'll text you.” John promised, probably having no idea how Alex would now be staring at his phone the rest of the day.

 

He followed Laf down the stairs and into his van, sighing and turning towards his friend.

 

“You better have a good excuse for-” He paused mid sentence because Lafayette, his rock, was crying and shaking. “Laf.” He grabbed his arms, rubbing his back and hugging him closer. “Hey hey, what's wrong?”

 

“Alexander.” He hiccuped, voice breaking. “I've started seeing things.”


	2. Origins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I'm not gonna lie I forgot this fic existed entirely but now I REMEMBER and im here lol and unlike my other fic, this one I have perfectly plotted out from start to finish and know exactly where I'm going
> 
> anyway thanks so much for reading y'all you guys always leave the nicest comments and especially thanks if this fic is your cup of tea bc I love scifi shit but I cant just write it for myself i mean ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I love you and enjoy xoxox

“ _Hold on to sixteen as long as you can_  
_Changes come around real soon”_

-John Mellencamp

 

**Monday, October 10th 2016**

**3:45pm**

**Gilbert de Lafayette’s Volkswagen**

 

“Seeing things?” Alex echoed, as if the words were in a foreign language, holding no meaning to him. “What do you mean Laf?” Laf gasped for breaths between sobs, still shaking, and Alex held him closer. “Shhh, it's okay it's okay. Just tell me about it and we can fix it.”

 

Laf calmed down after a couple of minutes, face buried in Alex’s shoulder and hair, leaving little wet dots on his jacket, and sat up.

 

“ _Je suis désolé_.” He apologized, sniffling loudly. “I don't know what came over me.”

 

“It’s been an overwhelming twenty four hours.” Alex consoled him, politely averting his eyes as Laf wiped his. They had been best friends forever, but still Alex knew Laf hated to show any signs of weakness, any chinks in the armor.

 

After Laf breathed for a bit, the low afternoon sun casting an orange glow within the car, Alex turned to him, cheeks still glistening.

 

“What kinds of things Laf?”

 

“Words.” Laf said softly after a moment, staring through the windshield out at the skyline. “It started this morning. I just….I see words above people’s heads. Sentences that don't really make sense. But I am afraid.” He admitted. “I don't know what it means.”

 

Lafayette could have told Alex that he had started seeing unicorns and giant green dragons and Alex would have accepted it, swallowed it without question. It wasn't that the two didn't lie to each other, which they did not. Ever. But it was more the sincerity in Laf’s eyes, the way his irises _needed_ Alex to know he was telling the truth. Lafayette was either truly seeing floating text, like a comic book, above the heads of the world or he had lost his grip on sanity and believed that he did. _If Laf is crazy then so are you._ Alex felt something gnawing at his consciousness, some answer tugging at his sleeve to a question he didn't know. Something obvious was in front of him, something so close he couldn't make it out, so he blinked it away.

 

“Like what?” Alex still didn't understand but he watched Laf’s eyes flicker upward, for less than a heartbeat, over his own head. Alex shivered despite the warm air. “Laf, like _what_?”

 

“Above your head,” Laf swallowed thickly, continuing clearly the last thing he wanted to do. “I see the sentence ‘I'll see you tomorrow’.” Laf looked into his eyes, a mixture of fear and confusion. “It's just floating above you, always. Maybe two, three feet up.”

 

It was a harmless phrase, one the two exchanged often, so Alex couldn't explain the cold fear gnawing at his stomach. He swallowed, trying to look more assured than he really was for his friend’s sake. Somehow knowing how close it was made it too real, more than just a horror story in a book that you could close at any time. He looked up, instinctively, and was tempted to swat the air around him like he would a fly, dispelling whatever cursed meaning Laf’s words held.

 

“Laf, it's been a weird few days so-”

 

“You believe me, don't you?” Lafayette asked suddenly, gripping his sleeve. “You do not think I am crazy?”

 

“Do I-no. Lafayette, of course I believe you.” He was almost hurt his friend had to ask. “We have _always_ taken each other at face value.” He squeezed Laf’s hands until the boy nodded, looking regretful but relieved. “I was just going to say that maybe it'll go away. Maybe it's….a weird side effect of that thing.”

 

“Has anything weird happened to you?” Laf whispered. His words were laced with hope, Alex biting the inside of his cheek with a pang of pity.

 

 _No,_ was on his lips when he remembered the assembly, the way every student’s head had turned when he had walked down the hallway. The eyes boring into his back.

 

“Not super weird. Kids at school were acting….odd today. But I doubt there's any correlation.” Alexander's most effective weapon he possessed was his ability to shrug things off, to dissociate himself from them. It was a good survival tactic, a good way to keep up your mental health.

 

 _Nolite te bastardes carborundorum_ . It was a Latin phrase, _don't let the bastards get you down._ He had read it in _The Handmaid's Tale_ , odd that it should suddenly get stuck in his head now, like a half remembered song lyric.

 

_Unknown Number_

 

-text me when you're home yeah?

\- Oh, this is John btw :P

 

Alex tried to wipe the ridiculous smile off his face at the buzz of his phone and Laf smirked slightly, the embers of the customary fire in his eyes beginning to glow again.

 

“Oh, you need to tell me about that. What the hell happened? I thought John didn't know you exist and now you are bringing him to the Schuyler's?” Alex felt his face flushing, to Laf’s obvious delight. _At least my embarrassment is drying his tears, that fucking voyeur._

 

“I don't know, I ran into him in the hall and now…” He trailed off, continuing to gaze dreamily at his phone. Laf snorted and turned the car on, prompting Alex to quickly buckle up. Laf was very heavy footed when it came to the gas pedal.

 

“Hey well what about you and Mulligan?” Alex looked up at him. “Didn't he spend the night last night?”

 

“He did.” Laf replied offhandedly, trying his very best to appear casual.

 

“Did you finally put the moves on him?”

 

“Alexander!” Laf’s voice was thick with embarrassment, amusing his friend endlessly. Laf, the ever bold and reckless, was blushing like a reverend’s wife at the slightest implication of anything happening between him and his beloved. “I would never. He is my friend.” Alex shrugged, struggling to think of something clever enough to reply to John with and still not openly flirt.

 

“Whatever you say.”

 

_To: John Laurens_

 

-And here I thought this was the alien

 

_From: John Laurens_

 

-Well I didn't call you an idiot so

 

_To: John Laurens_

 

-ha ha. Hilarious.

 

-at least it talked to me

 

_From: John Laurens_

 

-yes I am quite funny thank you

 

-and now you represent all of humankind. How does it feel?

 

_To: John Laurens_

 

-is this the part where I'm supposed to say I'm going to disneyland?

 

Lafayette looked at him when they stopped in front of his house, fingers dancing on the wheel.

 

“Hey um, let me give you a ride to school in the morning.” _I don't want to be alone_. He didn't have to say it, they heard one another always.

 

“Yeah, we can get donuts first.” Alex grinned at him, stepping out of the car door. “I'll see you to-”

He stopped mid sentence, both of them staring at one another with vague horror. The silence where the words would have been, _should have been_ , was poignant and empty all at once.

 

What did this mean? Were Laf’s weird visions prophetic? _Am I in danger?_ The not knowing was the most unnerving. _What does it mean what does it mean?_

 

“I'll see you later.” He finished lamely, shutting the car door behind him. Laf waited until he was inside the house completely before driving away, taillights dissolving into the darkness.

 

**Tuesday, April 10th, 2012**

**9:47pm**

**Gilbert de Lafayette’s Roof**

 

Tuesday nights were special. Tuesday night were for _Glee._

 

For a couple of closeted eighth graders, both unwelcome and not native to a country that didn't want them, both about to start the terrifying ordeal of high school, both underdogs in every sense of the word; _Glee_ was their religion.

 

Alex had loved Kurt, the first openly gay character on the show, since before he even knew the truth about himself, had identified with the outsider, the underdog, the one they always underestimated and shoved to the sidelines.

 

If he was being honest with himself, he probably had more in common with Rachel. She was selfish and always wanted to be the best, something nobody seemed to appreciate and something Alex understood with sharp clarity. But his heart was inside Kurt. They were different yet the same.

 

“Matt Bomer is incredibly attractive.” Laf remarked, head tilted back to look at the stars.

 

Only on the roof was it safe to make such a statement. Neither of their foster parents knew, or could ever know. Hell, nobody else on earth besides the two of them knew, another reason why _Glee_ was so sacred.

 

Alex’s foster mom couldn't afford cable, so every Tuesday he would take the bus to Laf’s house and spend the night. There was never any protest, he knew the elderly lady who watched over him was grateful to have him out of her hair. They would watch the episode adamantly, munching on popcorn, then sneak out of Laf’s window up to the roof after the required lights out. Safe from prying eyes and parents who were annoyed at a child speaking French. Annoyed by anything foreign and black and too quick witted but tolerating this nuisance for a paycheck and a paycheck alone.

 

“His eyes creep me out.” Alex replied, laying down on his back, a cloud drifting lazily over the moon. “They are like, half of his entire face.”

 

The silence between them was comfortable, non committal. It was Alex’s solace, especially since lately he had secretly begun to harbor the fear that he would lose Laf in high school. While both strange and outcasts, Lafayette was still inherently likable. Boys and girls alike stayed away from Alex, but girls at least had always adored Laf. He could do well in high school, he could be popular, and therefore protected. _You’d still have James and Angie and Mulligan._ But none of them were Lafayette.

 

“Remember when we came out to each other.” Alex asked softly and Laf snorted.

 

“You mean when I came out to you and you stole my thunder?” Alex shoved him playfully.

 

“I couldn't hold it back any more knowing we were both a couple of homos.” They were laughing, attempting to muffle it with their hands as not to wake Laf’s foster parents, shoulders shaking. “And I didn't want you to feel alone.” He added after a moment, Laf’s eyes turning to him.

 

“Do you think we’ll meet any boys? Gay ones, I mean.” Alex rolled his eyes fondly. _I knew you meant gay ones dipshit._

 

“Well, we have the option to still date girls if we don't, help us lay low.” Alex shrugged. “Even if they aren't our preference.”

 

“I've kissed girls before,” Laf tucked his hands under the back of his head, elbows outstretched. “It was pleasant enough. But I’ve never kissed a boy.”

 

“I've never kissed anyone.” Alex said softly, shyly.

 

Their eyes flickered nervously towards one another, thoughts briefly mirroring each other’s but too risky to speak aloud.

 

“We could kiss each other. For practice.” Laf clarified quickly, not daring to look at Alex. Alex kept his gaze fixated on the stars as well, feeling his face heat up.

 

“For practice?” He repeated.

 

The thought had crossed his mind in the past. Not because he was particularly attracted to Laf, but more due to a quiet fear that he would never find anyone else like him. That Lafayette was the only other boy who liked boys he would meet. He was bisexual, he liked girls as well, knew he could be happy with them. But he preferred men really, and he was afraid of falling behind the rest of the world, being an adult with no idea how to act with a man, never even having kissed one let alone-

 

“Okay.” Alex nodded and Laf sat up, Alex mirroring his action slowly, and dared to glance over at him.

 

Relief coursed through his veins when he saw his friend looking just as uncertain as he did. Laf scooted closer and looked up at Alex shyly.

 

“Um. Okay. I'll just..” He placed his hand on the side of Alex’s face tentatively, and Alex felt his skin heat up. He was terribly embarrassed, as if afraid Lafayette would announce it was all a joke and laugh in his face, but he had an underlying excitement. This wasn't just his best friend, this was a _boy_. A boy who wanted to kiss him.

 

Lafayette blinked at him and then quickly leaned in and pressed their lips together, a soft dry peck, before pulling back just as abruptly.

 

“You did it wrong.” Alex said and Laf snorted, looking incredibly flustered.

 

“I got nervous! If you know so much more about kissing then you do it.”

 

“Fine.” Alex said, his nerves failing as his eyes flickered to Laf’s lips. “Okay uh, let's try-”

 

He tilted his head to the side, at an angle, and pressed his lips to Laf’s again, parting them slightly. They remained like that for a moment-Alex feeling foolish-when Laf’s lips moved against his experimentally.

 

And then they were kissing, really kissing. When Alex saw two people kissing on television it was always a man and a woman, always knowing what they were doing. _Now I know what it feels like. No wonder they like it so much._

 

Their movements were cautious and hesitant, lips pressing and pulling against one another’s slowly. Alex recalled in _Glee_ when Kurt and Blaine had kissed. He hadn't really cared for Blaine as a character, but the moment changed his life. It was revolutionary, watching the two boys kiss on a screen. He hadn't even known it was allowed on television, with the little exposure to the world outside of a homophobic town he had been granted. No internet, no cable, and a public school system that was somehow still offering science classes that featured Creationism.

 

He felt a resurgence of how that moment felt when Laf pressed closer to him. An echo of hope and control. That the world could belong to him one day, and people like him. He remembered the way Kurt had put his hand on Blaine’s face, so tender and touching. He did the same to Laf.

 

They broke apart after several seconds, breathless, and grinned at one another, giddy with the adrenaline rush of committing a forbidden act. Laf’s foster parents were right beneath them, a terrifying and thrilling realization.

 

“I _much_ prefer kissing boys.” Laf said and Alex laughed, pulling back to lay down once more, cheeks bright pink.

 

“I was worried I would never kiss another boy.” Alex’s smile didn't fade as he spoke but the underlying seriousness of his words was prominent. Laf laid down beside him, looking at him.

 

“You will kiss many boys Alex. And when I make a speech at your wedding, I will make sure your husband knows it was I who stole your lip virginity.” Alex laughed loud, clutching at his sides and forgetting in that moment of undisturbed joy that there was the threat of parents hearing, and Lafayette held his arm to keep from tumbling off the roof in their cackles. “Now if only Mulligan were gay.” Laf sighed and they immediately broke out in giggles once again, full of innocence and starlight.

 

**Tuesday, October 11th 2016**

**9:15am**

**Yorktown High**

 

“Hey.” Alex felt like he was in a bad rom com, or maybe the universe was just playing a joke on him, when he closed his locker and saw John was leaning against the wall beside him. “Sleep well?”

 

The sight was enough to momentarily steal his breath. John looked more handsome than some high school boy had business looking; with his curly hair tied back in a ponytail and his half lidded eyes making him look like he didn't have a care in the world. Like he just waited by the lockers of boys who were losers every day looking like a teenage dream.

 

“Would you if an alien had called you an idiot?” He teased and then caught himself, looking around. His tone was playful, bordering on flirtatious, which was a dangerous game to be playing. He’d had a crush on John since forever, sure. But that didn't make him any less poisonous. He was popular, he was attractive, and he was straight. If the wrong people knew that Alex liked him...hell, if _John_ found out Alex liked him, Alex would probably get his ass kicked into the next dimension. _Appropriate metaphor all things considered._

 

“What are you doing here?” He asked John quietly, and the boy’s expression turned serious.

 

“Uh, okay don't turn around but I noticed a group of the basketball boys watching you. Made me nervous.” _Basketball boys?_ Usually the only ones who gave Laf and Alex shit were the football boys, sans Mulligan and John. The other school athletes just avoided them like the plague.

 

 _Wait wait wait. Who cares about the boys, why does John care?!_ The phrase _made me nervous_ bounced around Alex’s consciousness, making him dizzy.

 

“Oh.” Alex blinked up at John. “So you're like, what, protecting me?” His tone was bordering on accusatory and John shrugged shyly.

 

“Uh, I don't mean any offense. I just would feel better if you let me walk you to class.” Alex was certain he had literal cartoon hearts for eyes. “Basketball is a shit sport anyway.” He joked, but his smile looked almost nervous.

 

He nodded, not trusting his lips to form words, and turned around to walk beside John. Sure enough, a large group of boys was against the adjacent wall, watching him intently. Their gaze looked hungry, unnerving him, and he walked quickly, incredibly grateful for the tall football player at his arm.

 

Yet if you had really asked Alex to stop and look, if you had asked him if he felt afraid, he could have said no. For their gazes were not malicious. In fact, it was glaringly obvious what emotion clouded the eyes of the basketball boys, and it was far from hostile. That feeling Alex had felt in Laf’s car, of something blatant and insisting, was once again dancing on the fringes of his awareness. But Alex didn't even register the feeling, the battle of awareness and ignorance happening on an unconscious level. Just as he did not have to stop and think which foot he would put in front of the other, he did not stop to register the look in the eyes of the boys. His brain did not allow him to, efficiently choosing to sweep it away except perhaps as fuel for potential dreams.

 

“Any news on Peggy?” John whispered and Alex shook his head, unaware of the choices being made by his subconscious self as they turned the corner and left the sight of the boys completely.

 

“No. I called Angelica this morning but her parents didn't even come home.”

 

“Well good morning sunshines.” Lafayette squeezed between them obnoxiously, slinging an arm around each of their necks. He was smiling, eyes bright, but Alex saw the way his gaze lingered on the space just above John’s head. _I'll have to ask him what he saw. Not that we can really do anything with the information._

 

“Morning Laf.” Alex rolled his eyes. “Nice uniform.” Laf was sporting the outfit of the Lambs, the school’s ( _stupidly named_ ) cheer team. Dressing out was mandatory whenever there was a practice, but Alex knew Laf relished any chance to strut around in the symbol of status.

 

“Having an encounter with extraterrestrial beings doesn't make it any less of a requirement for me to be at tonight’s practice.” Laf tweaked his nose and Alex shoved him.

 

“I like how we all just unanimously decided it was aliens.” Mulligan said, falling into step beside Alex. He was never far behind Laf, just far slower than the cheerleader, one taking his time and the other always blazing ahead.

 

“Are we safe to talk about this so loud?” John asked nervous and Laf snorted.

 

“Afraid of getting abducted, Laurens?”

 

“He's right.” Alex said, glancing at the people in the hallway who were staring at them. Although, it almost looked like they were staring at just Alex. But again, this thought did not register with the boy in a significant way. Just as something strange, not something to be pondered over. “I don't want anyone to overhear.”

 

“Yeah, you don't need any more attention drawn to you.” Laf observed, looking around, and Alex let out a sigh of relief. He wasn't the only one who noticed, he wasn't insane. Laf turned his head to John. “Excited for practice tonight?”

 

“Yes.” His grin sent Alex’s stomach spiraling and John nudged Mulligan. “You ready for Friday’s game big guy? I heard the Redson quarterback is a beast.”

 

“He should be the one afraid of me.” Mulligan said, cracking his neck, and Alex felt Laf inhale deeply beside him. “Besides, I can win any game with Lafayette cheering down there.”

 

“I am the very best at shaking my ass.” Laf laughed, demonstrating with a shimmy, and released his grip on them when they reached the door.

 

“Thanks for walking us to class.” Alex said, struggling to be casual, and John smiled at him.

 

“Hey no problem. I'll see you...”

 

“Tonight.” Lafayette answered for Alex. “I'll bring him to practice with me.” _Fuck. Well now I have to go._ Alex had planned to check out some books on ufo encounters from the local library, see if anyone else had ever experienced strange things in the aftermath.

 

“Uh of course.” He said and Laf tugged him into class as the bell rang, not before hugging Mulligan goodbye.

 

 _That's how it would feel if our boyfriends walked us to class everyday <3 _Laf slipped him the note from the chair behind him and he crumpled it instantly, blushing despite himself. The teacher had yet to show up, so people were lounging at each other’s desks still, gossiping and giggling.

 

“Looking sharp in that uniform Marquis.” A voice like dripping honey sounded from behind him.He knew other members of the cheer team called Laf the Marquis, although he had no idea why.

 

“So are you, beautiful.” Alex turned around to watch Laf kiss the hand of a girl attached to the most beautiful pair of legs he had ever seen in his life.

 

 _Maria Reynolds_. He would've known that voice blindfolded and earmuffed in a dark room underwater. She had her dark hair, long and curled, swept back into a half ponytail. The uniform was red and navy, their school colors, and hugged her body so perfectly that Alex gulped when she smiled at him with lips a perfect ruby red. The fact that they shared a class together was pure torture, considering she didn't know he was alive. Every straight man in the school wanted her.

 

“Hey, Alexander right?” He nodded mutely, stunned that she knew his name, and she sat on his desk, crossing her legs, and smirked down at him. “I just wanted to say that I just _loved_ that little song you did in the auditorium.”

 

“Oh. Thank you.” He said as the teacher walked in. She slid off his desk and winked at him.

 

“You're welcome, sweetheart.” She replied, making the affectionate name sound somehow sultry, and he watched the sway of her skirt as she walked away.

 

“Oh my god.” Lafayette breathed in his ear. “The goddess of this high school just spoke to you.”

 

“You sound like such a fucking nerd.” Alex whispered back, face turning the exact color of Maria’s lipstick.

 

**Saturday, January 11th, 2014**

**11:15pm**

**Sun Hjung Mar’s Hotel Room**

 

He was from out of town. He was an older boy, a freshman in college. His name was Sun. Eliza loved the way it rolled off her tongue. _Sun_.

 

He spoke Cantonese fluently, something Eliza envied in a hungry, lonely place in the core of herself. She’d had a solid grasp on Chinese as a child, before she’d been adopted to white parents, forgetting herself and her culture. She didn't resent her parents, of course she didn't. She was a Schuyler through and through, her sisters were as much her family as if they had her blood coursing through her. But she hated the way she felt like stranger to her own culture, it felt isolating.

 

The way the Cantonese syllables rolled off of Sun’s lips felt familiar to her, comforting. He was her secret rebellion. She had nothing substantial to rebel against, her parents were not strict or cruel. She loved her sisters, loved her friends. But she felt lonely. And this wild boy two years her senior, breezing in through town, felt like exactly the sort of comfort one finds through danger.

 

“Listen princess,” He called her that, _princess_. Eliza, 16 years old, thought that it was the sweetest thing in the world. “You're beautiful. But you know I'm leaving back to college tomorrow.”

 

“I know what I want Sun.” She said with the confidence of one who has already made up their mind, brushing her hair off her shoulders.

 

He had invited her to his hotel room before, but she had always nervously declined. Now, on an impulsive feeling inspired somewhat by her purchasing a new and more adult black bra, she had shown up. She had decided, laying in her bed on a pink polka dotted comforter surrounded by stuffed animals, that 16 was the age of a woman. That she was ready to lose her virginity. Angelica already had, after all. She didn't want to remain the naive little sister forever, she didn't want to play catch up.

 

“I turn 18 in a week.” Sun ran his fingers through his dark hair nervously. “I won't be back.”

 

“That's fine with me.” She replied with a carelessness she did not feel. _We’ve only been dating a couple weeks, it's not like I love him._

 

The idea of sex made her feel nothing, and she knew that was wrong. It was as wrong as having slanted eyes, as her classmates had teased her for in elementary school, in a sea of those round and blue. She needed to cure herself. She needed to fix it. So, simple as crossing a task off a list, she knew what she had to do. She had to _make_ herself feel. She had to _learn_ to enjoy what everyone who was normal, healthy, not an outcast, not a freak, not a foreigner did.

 

Sun, unable or unwilling to fight any longer, kissed her deeply, pulling her to him. She allowed him to kiss her wherever he liked, stripping her of her clothes and climbing on top of her. She wondered faintly, as it was thrown to the floor, if he had liked her bra.

 

Eliza waited to feel something, anything, but remained numb even as he cried out with pleasure. Her eyes were tracing over a weird cluster of cracks in the ceiling as her body shook, her breaths heavy. She wondered if the cracks were from mice in the ceiling. Angelica had told her once that mice and rats could crawl inside walls.

 

It was over quickly, and she wanted to cry at the anticlimactic feeling of laying there, naked, not having felt anything at all during what was supposed to be the most exciting feeling of all her life. Like a corpse. _Oh god, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?_

 

“Was that good for you?” He whispered, an arm around her, foreign and unwelcome. She nodded, biting down on her tongue, and drew the blankets around her body tight.

 

He whispered something in her ear in Cantonese, she could tell it was something sweet from the tone. But it did not comfort her. It felt like a language belonging to someone else, something that had never been hers, something she would never understand.

 

 _A foreign experience. You'll always be on the outside._ Something whispered inside her, and she cried herself to sleep in Sun’s arms.

 

**Tuesday, October 11th 2016**

**5:17pm**

**Yorktown High Gymnasium**

 

_God, the last time I was in this room was the weirdest day of my life._

 

Alexander felt almost stranger now than he had when he performed here, sitting up in the bleachers as if he were somebody on the team’s girlfriend. He felt vaguely creepy as the group of football boys dropped to the floor to begin rigorous pushups, face heating up from the embarrassment one feels when caught with their eyes somewhere they shouldn't be, like up a girl’s skirt. Lafayette nudged him, chomping loudly on a granola bar, which Alex resented. They didn't need to be drawing attention to themselves.

 

“Look at the arms on Mulligan, eh? God, I love him in a tank top.”

 

“Shush.” Alex’s face flushed darker, despite knowing there was no way the team could hear them from here, and Laf snickered.

 

“Don't look so nervous Alex. I just finished practice and you're here with me, as my friend. You aren't doing anything wrong.”

 

“The team probably thinks we’re checking them out or something.” Alex whispered, watching John’s back arch as his body lifted from the floor repeatedly.

 

“Aren't we?”

 

Laf wiped the back of his forehead on his hand, beads of sweat spotting across his hairline. Alexander thought, after watching both, that the exercises of the cheer team were significantly more trying than those of the football boys. He would never say anything like that to Laf, however, and inflame his already massive ego.

 

_Jemmy has added TJEFFS to the group: dem gayz_

 

Alex groaned at the notification, holding out his phone to show Laf, who also frowned.

 

“Why does he have to add his asshole boyfriend to everything we do?” Alex grumbled, typing out as much in the chat. Angelica beat him to it.

 

_Angelica: honestly Madison don't ruin a good thing_

_Jemmy: guys something weird is going on with thomas_

_TJEFFS: we think it has to do with what happened_

_TJEFFS: you know, the thing that happened_

_TJEFFS: the alien thing_

 

Alex felt his stomach drop at the mention, exchanging a worried look with Lafayette.

 

“Should we tell them about me?” Lafayette whispered softly, and Alex blinked, suddenly remembering that he wasn't the only one experiencing strange things.

 

“Tell who what?”

 

Both boys jumped at Mulligan’s voice, suddenly standing a couple steps below them with John beside him. Both were grinning, dripping with sweat, clad in only tight fitting shorts and tank tops. It was one thing to see such a sight in the distance, but both Lafayette and Alex gulped at having them so near.

 

“Nothing.” Lafayette smiled charmingly, quick to recover. “Check the group chat.”

 

“What'd you think of the practice?” John sat next to Alex, breathing hard without any clue as to his effect. “Think we’re ready for the game?”

 

“Well considering I know almost nothing about sports, I'm not sure I'm the right person to ask.” Alex joked, forcing his eyes to stay on John’s, not on his lips or chest or arms that were _right there._

 

“Yeah but we looked pretty tough right?” John grinned cheesily and Mulligan snorted.

 

“John you’re like one-eighty soaking wet.” He joked and John smacked him, Mulligan smacking him back and almost knocking him over. “Case in point.”

 

Alex’s phone buzzed and he glanced around, making sure the rest of the team was headed for the locker rooms, before sighing.

 

“Thomas says something weird is happening to him. I'll add you to the group chat.” He said to John, forcing his tone to be casual.

 

“That's so funny,” Laf blinked innocently. “I forgot you two had each other's numbers.”

 

_TJEFFS: Okay so I was standing in front of Johnson’s english class right? Just waiting for him to get there and unlock the door_

_TJEFFS: then I closed my eyes and was like, thinking about how badly I would rather be with James in the library for study hall_

_BestseyBoo: Awwww_

_TJEFFS: then I opened my eyes and I was there, right outside of study hall_

 

_Alex Ham has changed the name of the group to: Alien Squad_

 

_Alex Ham has added John L. to the group: Alien Squad_

 

Alexander quickly changed the name of the group chat, forcing himself to remember that John Laurens wasn't their ally quite yet. He could still be another homophobic jock, he couldn't let his feelings accidentally out his friends.

 

“So Thomas hallucinated,” Mulligan shrugged. “That doesn't mean anything.”

 

“It's not just that.” Alex said, feeling Laf’s eyes burn into him. “Um...weird things have been happening to me too.”

 

_Angelica: hold the fuck up. Why did Alex add that one guy to this group chat???_

_Angelica: no offense John_

 

Alex shoved his phone in his pocket, feeling his friends turn to him.

 

“We need to all get together. Meet somewhere and talk about this.”

 

“How about the clearing?” They all turned to Mulligan with matching expressions of incredulity.

 

“Go back?” Laf was struggling to hide the fear in his tone, Mulligan shrugged.

 

“If weird things are happening, we need to stop ignoring this. Something is out there, it called Alex an idiot-” Laf snickered. “So we know that whatever it is, human or alien or machine, it can talk. Maybe we can ask it questions.”

 

“What makes you think it'll answer?” Alex arched an eyebrow and Mulligan smirked, making a show of flexing his arms.

 

“We’ll make it talk.”

 

_Alex Ham: Mulligan wants to meet in the clearing to talk about it_

_Alex Ham: talk to that thing maybe if it's still there_

_Angelica: you've got to be shitting me_

_BestseyBoo: I thought we all agreed to move on with our lives_

_Jemmy: how can we move on when thomas is in danger_

_TJEFFS: well we don't know if it's danger yet babe_

_TJEFFS: maybe this is my superhero origin story_

_Alex Ham: thomas if you were a fucking superhero I would crawl into that orb if it meant developing the powers to oppose you_

_TJEFFS: ah so you’re finally admitting ur the villain_

_Angelica: I said no_

 

Alex blinked as his phone lit up with Angelica’s number. He looked at Mulligan, more scared than when facing the alien orb, and lifted the phone to his ear.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Are you with Mulligan right now?” Her words were clipped and he nodded, forgetting she couldn't see him.

 

“Oh. Yes.”

 

“Put me on speakerphone.” He obliged, making a nervous face at Mulligan, who’s stern eyes revealed nothing.

 

“Hey Ang.” He said, sitting down by Laf as Alex held the phone between them.

 

“We aren't going back out there Mulligan.” The dynamic within their group was constantly shifting, as there was no defined leader. Mulligan usually was the final word on all things, the quiet decider. He never argued or raised his voice, never seemed to anger or reach a boiling point, but when he spoke people usually didn't argue. Angelica, however, was a force to be reckoned with. She and Alex talked the most, easily, and people didn't argue with her for much different reasons. Her scalding tongue was a weapon none wanted to be on the end of. “My sister is in the hospital, probably because Alex was dumb enough to get us into this mess in the first place.” Alex flinched on instinct and John patted his leg, seated much too close for comfort, and he flinched again for a much different reason.

 

“There's no reason,” Angelica went on. “For us to all drag our asses back out there and risk getting hurt again, just because Thomas is making up weird shit for attention.” Her last word was punctuated with finality and the only sound was her heavy breathing from talking so rapidly

 

“Okay.” Mulligan nodded, leaning back against the bleachers, slinging an arm around Laf, who had looked terrified at this entire exchange and immediately leaned into the sweaty boy. “You're right, it's dangerous.”

 

“Good.” Angelica sounded surprised before clearing her throat again. “And Alex. Don't think just because you have a crush on-” Alex almost dropped his phone in his haste to turn her off speakerphone, quickly holding the phone to his head on the opposite side of where John was seated.

 

“Angelica I'll call you back later!” He said and hung up, staring down at the floor. Laf nudged him, smiling wickedly, before turning to Herc, smile fading.

 

“So, we aren't going? Back out there?” He sounded small, childlike, and Mulligan shook his head.

 

“Angelica’s right. This isn't pressing. It’s not like Thomas lying would be out of character.” Alex nodded in agreement, watching Laf visibly relax.

 

“Hey.” A voice from the bottom of the bleachers made them all jump. The custodian glared up at them. “You kids clear out, practice is over.”

 

“Certainly Mr. Frederick!” Laf called out cheerfully, standing up and climbing down, the others following. “The boys just need to change first.”

 

Alex and Laf waited outside the locker rooms, the janitor glaring at them as he mopped, until Mulligan and John came out smelling fresher, all of the sweat washed away and their gym clothes replaced by letterman jackets. Alex tried not to feel disappointed at the loss of John in a tank top. Laf immediately stole Mulligan’s jacket, claiming to be cold despite the obvious warmth in the air.

 

“So, you said weird things were happening to you too.” John said softly, falling into step beside him, a little further back from Laf and Mulligan. “Is everything alright?”

 

“What are you two whispering about back there?” Laf leaned against the doorway, looking adorably small in the jacket, waiting for them to catch up, and they all stepped out into the humid courtyard. Dusk was settling in over the clouds in orange and blue hues, making the shadows stretch and the distant trees a pretty silhouette rather than ominous beacons.

 

“How shitty we think the cheer team is.” Alex shoved at Laf who chuckled, then glanced behind Alex and laughed loudly, prompting the boy to spin around.

 

A couple other cheerleaders were leaning against the back wall, long nails wrapped around cigarettes, and Alex cleared his throat, blushing brightly. Among the girls was Maria who, smirking, pushed forward off the wall and walked over to them.

 

“I was just kidding. About the Lambs.” Alex said to her, loud enough for the others to hear, and she laughed, a thick and intoxicating sound.

 

“Hey Maria.” Laf said in a pseudo-sultry way that made Mulligan lift his eyebrows, stepping slightly closer to the boy. Observing this, she grinned.

 

“Relax Mulligan. Your boyfriend isn't the one I'm after.” Her eyes returned to Alex. “I just realized that I never got your number, Alexander. Seems a shame, considering we have chem together and all.” _Your boyfriend isn't the one I'm after,_ she had said. _So who is she after then? Oh my god oh my god. Maria Reynolds is_ **_not_ ** _coming on to me._

 

“Didn't you fail chemistry last semester?” John’s voice sounded sour and her eyes flickered to him.

 

“So I need a study buddy.” She shrugged and held out her phone to Alex, who willed his fingers not to shake as he punched his number in.

 

“Uh, there.” He smiled shyly and she winked at him before turning around to join the girls, pulling another carton of cigarettes out of her jacket pocket.

 

“Careful Alex.” Mulligan gruffed as they walked away, obviously ruffled by her comment about Laf. Lafayette nudged him.

 

“Why would you say that huh? Cause she's a cheerleader?” Mulligan gave him a small, private smile, and turned to Alex and John.

 

“You boys wanna come eat with us? Laf’s been craving Burgertown all day.”

 

“Bet your sweet ass I have.” Laf leaned against him. “Doing backflips has only increased my need for a burrito as big as my head.”

 

“I think I'll go to the library actually.” Alex shrugged, detecting that Laf probably wanted some alone time with his crush. Mulligan nodded and looked at John, who stepped closer to Alex.

 

“I'll probably go with Alex. I need some books for class anyway.” He spoke casually and Alex’s head jerked up to look at him. _I'm going to die of a fucking heart attack if I have to keep platonically basking in your gorgeous presence._

 

“Alright. Later boys, see you tomorrow.”

 

“Text me!” Laf called as they walked away, winking. Alex and John stood silently watching them until Alex cleared his throat, acutely aware that he was alone with John.

 

“What books do you need for school?” He asked, nudging a rock with his shoes as the shadows grew longer around them. “I'm kinda the concierge of the Yorktown library.”

 

“Huh? Oh.” John grinned almost shyly. “I don't need any books. I just wanted to stay with you.” The words sank into the pit of Alex’s stomach and burned there like kindling, warming him from inside out.

 

“Oh.” He choked out, eyebrows pressing together as he looked up at John. “Why?”

 

“I wanna know the weird things. That you said are happening to you. C’mon.” They cut across the field towards the parking lot, the silhouettes of Mulligan and Laf outlined in the distance, crossing the street towards the glowing neon burger. “Besides, were you gonna just walk there? In the dark?”

 

“I've done it before.” Alex shrugged, wishing he were more flirtatious like Laf. Maybe then he could swipe John’s jacket. _And get jumped? Yeah right. Laf’s safe cause Mulligan is a powerhouse. Who would protect you?_ _You'd just get John’s ass kicked too, if anything. And he would hate you for it._

 

“Not when aliens are on the loose.” John joked and climbed into his car, Alex hesitantly following. _Stop overthinking this. You guys are friends now._ _You can't go through shit like what we saw and not be friends._ “So tell me the weird stuff.”

 

“It sounds silly.” Alex shrugged sheepishly, absorbing the fact that he was in _John Laurens’ car_ for the second time this week. _This is the strangest week in the history of humankind. You better get start getting desensitized to it all._ “Like, if I say it out loud, it'll sound made up.”

 

“Alex,” John looked at him sideways, face resolved. “I have seen the impossible this week. And you were standing right there beside me for it, so I think we’re a little past the point of thinking the other is _silly_.”

 

“People have been staring at me.” Alex said slowly, glancing between John and his hands, folded in his lap. “Not in the usual ‘Oh here comes the gay kid’ way but….different. Like I'm something they've never seen before.”

 

Something _something_ tugged at the edge of his mind but was discarded immediately, Alex feeling like something important was on the tip of his tongue.

 

“And you think it has to do with the silver thing?” John’s eyebrows scrunched together cutely and Alex sighed.

 

“I don't know.” He wanted to tell John about what Laf was seeing, but he knew it wasn't his place. “I want to believe Thomas but I just don't know. And I don't like not knowing.” _That was probably the truest thing you've thought all night._ Alex hated being in the dark, he hated not having answers.

 

John pulled into the public library’s parking lot, the sky now completely black around them, and turned to Alex. _Why do his eyes have to be so beautiful?_

 

“What do you think we saw? Really?” John looked at him intently, hands still gripping the wheel. “I mean, it did something to you, and potentially to Thomas. And it spoke. So do you really think it was like….an extraterrestrial?” Alex almost wanted to laugh at how serious he said the word _extraterrestrial_ , but he also felt a deep pang of fear.

 

“I do.” He whispered honestly. “I don't even know if I believe in aliens, but I think that was one. And I'm afraid.” He hadn't intended to speak that last part, voice cracking, and he blinked in surprise. Alex’s surprise only deepened when John reached over and squeezed his hand.

 

“Don't be.” John nodded, as if he had made up his mind about something, and offered Alex a half smile. “Whatever that thing is, it's safe in the woods, far away from us. And people are probably only staring at you because everyone's been talking about you at that assembly. C’mon.” He jumped down out of the truck, Alex following, and they walked together into the library, Alex’s spirits already lifting. “And that thing won't stand a chance against the hardcore alien research we’re gonna do.” John continued, and his optimism made Alex honest to god grin, beaming from ear to ear.

 

“If you say so.”

 

They collectively filled their arms with any books they could find on aliens; fiction, nonfiction, and sensationalized journalism alike, and tiptoed up the stairs to the floor with private tables and desks, avoiding the glare of the librarian at their giggles and failed attempts at whispering.

 

“Hey.” John said softly to him, seated across from Alex at a table in the far corner away from prying eyes, and nudged his foot.

 

“What?” Alex glanced up from the tabloid-esque picture book his was engrossed in to see John looking at him almost shy.

 

“I don't know if it's rude to ask,” John whispered, scratching the back of his neck. “But are you uh, gay? You just...keep alluding to people making fun of you for it...but I didn't want to just assume.” He looked embarrassed but Alex thought it was almost sweet, how cautious John was being of his feelings and privacy. But the prospect of answering made his neck heat up. _Yep. Queer and proud as hell of it, and I want to jump your bones._

 

“I'm bi.” Alex decided he trusted John for better or for worse and looked down at the book, worried his traitorous thoughts would be obvious in his eyes. “So sorta. I prefer guys.” _Stop talking._ He looked up at John, biting his lip. “You aren't going to kick my ass are you?” He smiled, only half joking, and John looked horrified.

 

“What? No, of course not!” John shook his head, looking at Alex regretfully. “Jesus, I'm sorry the rest of my team has made you think all football players are like that.”

 

“It's safer to assume as much.” Alex shrugged. “I'm pretty sure Laf and I would be dead if we weren't friends will Mulligan.” John mouthed the word _dead_ in disbelief and shook his head, as if fully aware that it wasn't an exaggeration. Not in the least. _I'm sure he's heard about last year's prom. Who hasn't?_

 

“How do you do it?” John asked after a period of long but not uncomfortable silence. Alex had been so engrossed in a book written by a local author entitled _Encounters_ that he forgot their prior topic.

 

“Do what?” He asked, then raised his eyebrows in understanding. “Be...out?” John nodded and he took a breath. He trusted John, he was almost sure the boy was more like Mulligan than the neanderthals Lee and Eacker, but he still spoke with caution. One could never know how far acceptance extended, he wouldn't let his little fantasy make him reckless. “Uh...scary at times. I probably couldn't have been so open if I didn't have Laf. It doesn't feel like anything, most of the time. All my friends are gay so.” _Shit. Shit shit shit shit._ He had just accidentally outed literally everyone he loved to someone with the social status to make their lives hell. “Uh I mean...almost all of them. But not...everyone.” He finished lamely and John, sensing how uncomfortable he was, held out his book to Alex, finger on a paragraph.

 

“I think I found something that could be useful.” Alex snatched the book out of his hands, grateful for the diversion, and read aloud where John had indicated, the title of the chapter **SPECIES OF THE SIGHTED.**

 

“While elaborate hoax or deranged fantasy remains undecided, nobody can question the sincerity with which these ‘abductees’ recite their tales. The legends of orb like aliens-” He paused to exchange a look with John and lowered his voice. “Is by far the most fascinating, as they are underreported yet incredibly consistent in reports. Sighters will claim a blinding light followed by an immediate disappearance. Yorktown, Ohio’s August Washington claimed to have touched such an ‘orb of light’, but refused to comment any further. I will never forget the fear in his eyes when I demanded and interview. The sheer-Wait.” Alex stopped reading, the chills down his spine overruled by the excitement coursing through his veins. _I know how nerdy it sounds but god, obtaining new knowledge is my fucking kryptonite._ “I know that name.”

 

He grabbed the book he had been looking through and flipped through until he found the page he had previous skimmed, unable to hold back an exclamation.

 

“Aha!” He half shouted, and a harsh _shh_ from an indecipherable location made him shrink into his seat. “Here,” He whispered to John. “The book talks about August Washington, who _lives_ here. He denied an interview but he _did_ say-” Alex hunched over the page and John mirrored him, nearly cheek to cheek as Alex read, and his heart pounded in his ears for two entirely different reasons. “ ‘There are things people are not meant to know. Those who already are aware of them know what I mean, and those who are not are better off. They won't learn it probably ever. Not from me anyway.’” Alex grabbed John’s arm excitedly, the same accomplished feeling of discovery reflected back to him in his friend’s eyes. “We could talk to him! We could...what is it?” John was frowning and Alex obliged when he held out his hands for the book.

 

“Alex this is from 1966. That's almost fifty years ago. He’d be like what, ninety now?” Alex’s eyebrows cinched together, his joy dwindling. People didn't live that long in Yorktown. Maybe it was the town’s penchant for deep frying everything or maybe it was the hatred Lafayette and Alex knew coursed through so many veins here, but the average age people lived to within city limits was barely seventy.

 

“I...I didn't think of that.” He raised his eyebrows as a new idea occurred to him. “Well, did he have any family? People tell secrets to their family, right?”

 

It took only about thirty minutes of meticulously combing through city records and documents to follow this thread to the end. Alex felt like Sherlock fucking Holmes. _I'm gay for Watson. So gay._

 

“Oh my god.” John was laughing, the high pitch of incredulity making it almost sound like a cackle. “Maybe there is a God because this cannot be a coincidence.”

 

“What?” Alex asked, rocking his chair back and forth. John shook his head, wiping a tear away and ignoring the various glares pointed in their direction.

 

“His son...is my history teacher.”

 

**Wednesday, November 13th, 2013**

**9:15pm**

**Rowan Peak**

 

It was a place the older kids came to make out, Lafayette knew this from stories only, and he could see why. The cliffside overlooked the beautiful woods he and Alex thought of as a home away from home, and it seemed to be level with the sky, the moon an arm’s length away. It was terribly romantic, the stars and the sky and the complete and utter isolation.

 

And he was here with Hercules Mulligan.

 

Hercules had wanted to hang out, and Laf had suggested the place, hoping his friend might catch the hint. But either Mulligan was completely oblivious or, the far more likely scenario, Lafayette had constructed this fantasy all in his head, the pinning his alone.

 

Just about a month ago, the beginning of their sophomore year in high school, Mulligan had come out to their little group of friends. Everyone knew about Alex and Laf already, this was no secret, but Mulligan shocked Angie, Eliza, James, and Alex alike.

 

Laf would never tell them that Mulligan had come out to him first, a week beforehand.

 

“Hey.” Mulligan had said one night, a box of Burgertown fries between them as they sat cross legged on the floor in his bedroom, watching old cartoon reruns. “You’re pansexual, right? Or are you bi like Alex?” None of them in the group had ever gone into details before, preferring to keep things surface and chalked full of humor, the children in them defying reality and the fear that came alongside such honesty regarding their identities. Laf had gulped, almost choking on a fry.

 

“Yeah, I'm pan.” He’d blinked up at Mulligan, mesmerized by his soft brown eyes, and inhaled softly. “Why?”

 

“Uh.” Mulligan looked at him nervously, eyes flickering, before muting the tv. Lafayette had sat up immediately, turning to his friend fully and hitting the mute button on the remote.

 

“What is it Mulligan?” He’d asked softly, wanting to reach out and touch his arm, but too afraid of what he might say next, far too paralyzed by fear. _Laf,_ he imagined his forever crush saying. _You're great but, this gay thing is too much for me. I can't be around you anymore. Your crush is disgustingly obvious, and I'll never feel the same._

 

“I'm gay.” Lafayette’s head was spinning with so many wild theories that it took several moments for Mulligan’s words to register, Laf blinking slowly.

 

“What?”

 

“I uh, I like boys.” Mulligan had bitten his lip pensively before quickly moving to unmute the television, clearly not wanting to elaborate. After a long moment, Lafayette had slid their hands together, both boys nearly shaking with relief as their fingers intertwined.

 

Now that all the shock had faded away, Lafayette couldn't help but be overjoyed at the news. Mulligan was gay. Mulligan liked boys. Lafayette was a boy. _The facts do not lie._

 

“You were right,” Mulligan said thoughtfully, leaning the passenger seat back slightly. “This place is beautiful.”

 

 _Kiss me_ , Lafayette wanted to plead, the white light of the stars filling him with wistfulness. _I've wanted you for so long and now you're actually in reach. We could actually be together, if you felt the same._

 

 _Ah, but if he felt the same, wouldn't he reach for you now?_ They were alone on the lookout point completely, no other couples, and they were alone _in a car_ . The perfect opportunity to make out and ravish one another with none being the wiser. _If he felt the same at all, or was even a little attracted to you, wouldn't he have come out sooner to you? He's liked boys all along, yet had never flirted with you, never made a move._

 

Lafayette was glad Mulligan was gay, selfishly and without regret, but it also heightened his worst fears. When he thought Mulligan liked girls, it was easier to be in love with him. There was no risk, no chance. Mulligan would never want him, but not because Laf fell short in some aspect. It would only be because he was a man. But now, the only thing keeping them apart would be Laf falling short of being the _type_ of man Mulligan wanted. And that thought was far too much to bear.

 

“I came out here once when there was a meteor shower.” Laf blinked up at the sky, silently pleading with the cosmos that only twinkled in reply. “It was...breathtaking.”

 

“You think everything is breathtaking.” Mulligan said, his tone not unkind but not teasing either. He was making a simple observation. “I like that about you. You think everything is beautiful.” Lafayette could feel his heart thumping against his ribcage almost violently.

 

He was not insecure. He knew he was attractive, and he had seen Mulligan’s gaze linger once or twice. So what then? Was the attraction mutual, but not the feelings? Or did Mulligan love him too and was too afraid to say it aloud?

 

 _Woah there Laf,_ **_love_ ** _?_

 

“It's easy with such beautiful company.” Laf teased, playing off the sincerity of the moment by shoving Mulligan’s arm, the boy chuckling.

 

“So what do you want to do?” Mulligan asked and Laf held his breath until he went on. “After graduation, I mean. Where do you want to go?”

 

“New York.” Laf responded without hesitation, eyes glistening. _Like Rachel and Kurt and Santana._ The idols of his youth had made it to the city of dreams out of a shitty small town in Ohio, why shouldn't he? “I want to go to college there, maybe sing. Maybe get into politics. Live there with Alex.”

 

“Alex.” Mulligan repeated and Laf was worried he had said the wrong thing, that the dark look in his friend’s eyes was jealousy, but it quickly was replaced by an encouraging smile. “That's nice. You wouldn't go back to France?” Laf suppressed a shudder.

 

“Nothing for me there.” He said ambiguously, hating the way he could taste bile rising in his throat at the thought of his last foster family in France. _I will never go back._

 

“I think I might want to stay here.” Mulligan said casually, Laf’s head snapping to face him. “I don't really need anywhere fancy to be happy. I could settle down here, get married. Maybe teach English.” Mulligan idolized the english teacher they shared, Ms. Tubman, much like Alex idolized the beloved history teacher Laf had yet to meet. He could see why Mulligan would want to follow in her footsteps.

 

“Here though?” Laf blinked incredulously. “This town is pretty homophobic, as a whole. Maybe Columbus. Or Cleveland. But Yorktown?” Mulligan hummed thoughtfully.

 

“I like small towns. But yeah, maybe a small town in California would be better. The suburbs of San Francisco or something.” He joked with a chuckle but Laf’s smile felt forced. _The other side of the world._

 

“There's suburbs around New York too.” He said softly, staring ahead at the night sky, and he felt Mulligan’s eyes on him. “I'm just saying.” He finished in a whisper, tongue feeling heavy in his mouth.

 

“Yeah?” Mulligan replied with equal softness, as if a raised voice would shatter the air around them.

 

“Yeah.” Laf turned to meet his gaze. “Not uh...not too long a drive either. Out of the city.” He felt physically unable to hold eye contact with the boy any longer, and both returned their gaze to the stars.

 

“Well alright then.” Mulligan said and both boys smiled shyly, innocently, as a comet streaked across their field of vision like a white hot tear in the sky.

 

 _Yeah_ . Laf thought, envisioning a future where all his dreams were real and all his friends were there alongside him. _Definitely love._

 

**Tuesday, October 11th, 2016**

**11:56pm**

**Hope Memorial Hospital**

 

Angelica: hey guys so my parents just text me that peggy’s waking up so if y'all want to come visit it's fine with them. She's at hope memorial. Eliza and I are on our way right now

Laffy Taffy: ahh thank god

Laffy Taffy: anybody need a lift?

Mulligan: yes please

TJEFFS: yes please

Jemmy: yes please

Alex Ham: yes please

Laffy Taffy: sorry Alex not enough room you have to ride with john

Alex Ham: you have a fucking volkswagen

Laffy Taffy: I do not make the rules Alex i just enforce them

John L: it's cool with me and it makes sense bc we’re already together

Mulligan: oh?

TJEFFS: interesting

 

Alex clicked off his phone with a glare and looked up at John. They had left the library about an hour ago, stopping to eat at Taco Bell, and were now seated outside Alex’s house. He’d been stalling to spend more time with the jock, insisting John explain the dynamics of football, as he was completely clueless. So while he hated Laf a little bit for meddling so much, he would lying if he didn't admit he was thrilled that the night was not yet ending.

 

“You don't have to do this.” He said shyly and John made a face of mock offense.

 

“You bought me a five layer burrito. I am your slave.” He shoved Alex teasingly and he was grateful that it was dark enough outside tonight to hide his face flushing. “Besides, I had a class with Peggy once. She's a sweetheart, I want her to be okay.”

 

“She will be.” Alex said with confidence that he forced himself to feel. “She's waking up, so everything will be okay.” John flashed him a skeptical look but started the car without another word, going well over the speed limit as Alex used google maps to navigate them.

 

By the time they got inside the small hospital, the smell of linoleum floors and the way their shoes squeaked making Alex woozy, the others were already huddled outside the door the nurse directed them too. Eliza caught sight of him and pulled him into a tight hug, surprising him, but he was not about to deny the girl any comfort he could provide, and he squeezed her back just as tightly.

 

“Have you seen her yet?” He asked Angelica over Eliza’s shoulder, who shook her head in annoyance.

 

“She's doing an interview with the psychologist right now, to make sure there's no brain damage or whatever.” She was tapping her foot impatiently but Alex could see the fear hidden within the folds of her frustration. _Poor Angelica, she's always trying to protect her sisters. She must feel so helpless._ He pulled away from Eliza to give Angie’s hand a squeeze, the girl blinking in surprise but not pulling away.

 

“She better not tell him _why_ she fainted.” Thomas grumbled. “He'll think she's fucking insane. Then they'll ask us to confirm and think _we’re_ fucking insane.” The Schuyler sisters threw him matching glares.

 

“That's not important right now.” Mulligan chastised and guilt flashed across Thomas’ face. He opened his mouth, eyes apologetic, but the door swung open before he could manage.

 

“Okay, she's fine for visitors but-” They all shoved past him into the cramped room before the doctor could manage to spit out “- one at a time.”

 

Peggy had the sheets up to her chin, looking like a child in the hospital bed too big for her, and Alex felt acutely aware that he was only eighteen. _God, we’re all just kids. Why is this happening to us?_ Last weekend he had been sending in college applications, now he was staring at his friend who had just woken up from a coma.

 

“Hey beautiful.” Angelica’s voice was sweeter than Alex had ever heard it when she pulled up a chair beside her sister, taking Peggy’s hand. Peggy smiled, the expression only adding to the imagery of her as some innocent, broken animal, and Alex pressed against Laf, standing close at his side.

 

“The last words anybody says to you.” Lafayette whispered, gazing at the empty space above Peggy’s head and trembling slightly. Alex pondered this meaning, taking his friend’s hand, but was too focused on the figure in the hospital gown to dwell on it. _(Something something tugging at your mind)_

 

“Hey guys.” Peggy croaked, smiling weakly. “Mom and dad said I was only out a couple of days. Did I miss much?”

 

“Nothing important.” Angelica assured her and Eliza let out a little sob before wrapping her arms around her sister’s neck on the opposite side of the bed, lip trembling.

 

“Awe ‘Liza.” Peggy’s eyes began to water as she hugged her sister back fiercely. “I'm okay. Really I'm okay. I just feel….weary.” _Weary._ Peggy, proud of her status as adorable and endearing, rarely used such vocabulary. _Weary_ was the word of an old woman, seeking reprieve, not a fifteen year old.

 

“Did you dream?” Alex asked, unsure what pulls the question out of him, not even recognizing his voice immediately as his own, and they all looked at him.

 

“What?” Mulligan looked at him, tilting his head, and Peggy frowned thoughtfully.

 

“I did. I dreamt….about you guys.” Her eyes suddenly grew wide, too wide, and Eliza jumped away from her with a hiss, staring at the hands that had been clutching her sister.

 

“Peggy you're burning up!” She whimpered, sounding almost afraid, and Peggy’s eyes grew wider still.

 

“I can see it all.” She whispered and a chill ghosted over the room, her voice tainted by an almost metallic quality, cold and precise and utterly unnerving. “I looked into the light. I can see it all.”

 

“Go back to sleep.” Angelica said suddenly, sitting up sharply. “You need more rest.” It was her Leader voice, the same voice that had ordered Mulligan to not go back into the woods. Angelica was beautiful and powerful and wealthy, she was not accustomed to things not going her way. She was not accustomed to watching her kid sister slip slip slip through her fingers into someplace dark that even Angie couldn't rescue her from.

 

“I see it all.” The voice was Peggy but not Peggy, now subhuman, deep and echoing as if through a distant cavern. Alex thought distantly of when he and Laf had tried, as kids, to make walkie talkies out of can and strings. Somehow they hadn't done it right, and their voices came out warped and ridiculous, a joke between them for several months.

 

Angelica jumped to her feet.

 

“Call a nurse!” She yelled, everyone frozen in place, unable to tear their eyes away. The voice had stilled them, sucked the previously overflowing joy and relief out of the room and out of their lungs.

 

“Thomas.” James gasped, fists clenched so tight his knuckles were pale, and his boyfriend immediately turned the boy to face his chest. Turning him away from Peggy.

 

Her pupils were blown, almost to the point of exploding. The lines of her retina had broken, the browns of her iris leaking out into the whites of her eyes like a watercolor painting. Alex didn't think that was possible, _knew_ that what he was seeing wasn't possible, but regardless of the laws of nature her eyes became a muddled black and brown color, no white visible. Alex wondered, for less than a heartbeat, if maybe they had all died in the woods. Maybe a plane crash had killed them and this was some weird eternal dream, post death.

 

“Angelica.” Peggy said in her normal voice, meek and trembling. “Eliza.” She held out her hands on either side of the bed and the girls rushed to her, a Schuyler on her left and her right, like a tragic renaissance painting. Alex couldn't look away from the image, not even to blink. He was too captivated and far, far too afraid. He felt Laf intertwine their fingers on one hand, and John do the same on the other. He didn't question it, it barely even registered.

 

“Call the nurse.” Angelica repeated in a hushed tone when Peggy didn't speak, the only movement in the room the heaving of her chest. The only sound her thick and pained gasps. The girl in the bed squeezed Angelica’s hand so suddenly and fiercely that the girl cried out, a tear slipping out of her left eye, catching on her chin.

 

“No.” Peggy whispered. “No one else. Only we saw. It's only us now.” Her words were laced with purpose and Alex felt understanding crash through him, although he felt certain the source of it was not his own mind. _Only us. Only us._ He glanced around the room briefly and saw the same grim agreement in everyone’s eyes.

 

They all nodded mutely save for James, weeping softly into Thomas’ shirt. Thomas’ hands rubbed up and down his back but even he didn't take his gaze off Peggy to comfort his boyfriend further.

 

“You have to go back.” She whispered, voice soft yet deafening all at once, expanding like liquid to fill the volume of the room. Her eyes had no remaining pupil, no way to indicate whether or not she saw or what she was seeing, yet when her head turned to Alex, he felt that Peggy could see right through him. “You _have_ to go back.” The idea was chilling yet he felt that same resolution, especially under her black stare. “You are changed. Your DNA is rewritten. I shouldn't have looked.” Tears, red like blood, began to trickle down her cheeks. Or perhaps it _was_ blood. The thought made Alex almost vomit. “I can see it all now. Too much. Go back and he’ll tell you.”

 

She startled convulsing, her whole body racked with violent shakes, and Eliza was openly sobbing. Angelica tried to wrench her hand away to no avail, Peggy’s nails digging into her flesh, breaking the skin with every tug. When she spoke again, the other voice was back. That which echoed.

 

“We are different. Songbird.” She looked at Alex and he felt utterly lost and so terribly afraid that his hands grew clammy and his throat went bone dry.

 

“Peggy what do you mean?” He asked, then stepped forward to the end of the bed and screamed at her, hands still clutching at the boys on either side of him. “What do you mean?! Peggy!” He was tired of this cloud of uncertainty hanging over their heads but he was mostly exhausted from being afraid. He didn't think his body could handle another second of this numbing fear, hand in hand with disbelief. Strange things did not happen in Ohio and they didn't happen to him.

 

Peggy’s head jerked violently towards Lafayette, releasing Angelica who fell to the ground on her behind in a way that would be comical were it under different circumstances, gasping and staring at her bleeding hand. Peggy raised a finger to Laf and the boy let out a small whine, similar to the noise a cornered animal might make, and she took in a raspy breath.

 

“What you see is the future. The words before death, the ending.” She coughed and blood trickled out of her mouth now as well, dribbling over her lips thickly. “The last words anybody says to you.”

 

Lafayette gasped, hands reaching up to cover his mouth, and he stumbled backwards, as if her words held some physical power. The others retained their blank, uncomprehending expressions of fear and incredulity, but Alex knew. He knew what she meant, and he knew such awareness would shatter Laf.   _I'll see you tomorrow. Those are my last words? Oh god._ The thought had opened a new door in the complex equation: death. If they were in any danger, death was on the line. And Lafayette would watch it approaching, powerless to stop it.

 

Peggy’s hand lowered slowly from where it was trained on Lafayette, her breathing growing more shallow. She suddenly stopped shaking and blinked, her eyes returned to normal, the blood gone, as if it had been one shared mass hallucination. Brown eyes stared curiously, full to the brim with clear, _water_ tears _._ The others made no motion to move. All were panting, most were crying, and Peggy just stared wide eyed at the wall. She looked up at Angelica, opening her mouth to say something, then slumping down against the pillows, as if changing her mind.

 

Still, none of them thought to call the nurse. Not until the heart monitor emitted one continuous, shrill note, making them all jump.

 

“Peggy?” Angelica shook her sister nervously, then again much rougher. “Peggy stop it. Sit up right now.”

 

The tiny spikes in the monitor were gone, replaced by only an ongoing red line, flatlining.

 

Eliza shrieked and finally pounded the button that called for the nurse just as James collapsed.


	3. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy this chapter because writing this is honestly my favorite thing in the world also PLEASE come talk to me/rant to me/yell at me on [my tumblr](http://angstypanfeminist.tumblr.com/)
> 
> aliens and cryptids are real fight me (im getting a mothman tattoo lol)

_"Shall we their fond pageant see?_

_Lord what fools these mortals be"_

-A Midsummer Night's Dream

 

**Thursday, January 13th 2011**

**5:44pm**

**Dr. Hannigan’s Office**

 

“The _ch_ urch was _wh_ ite, and brown, and looked _very_ old.” Dr. Hannigan spoke slowly and with clarity in a tone clearly meant to put James at ease. However it only aided to his anxiety, the boy already all too aware that he could never convince his mouth to obey him with such deftness.

 

“The ch-ch-ch-church was wa-white and b-b-brown and looked vuh-vuh-vuh-vuh-” James couldn't force the word out, feeling his face growing red, vision blurring, the air around him suddenly hard to breathe. _Very. It's very, just say it._ “Vuh-vuh-vuh-vuh-vuh-” He glared at his speech therapist, the man only watching his humiliation with calm patience when he could end it at any moment. _Just let me stop. It's no fucking use, just let me stop and give me some fucking pills._ James had never heard of any medication for stuttering, but Hannigan was a doctor, there had to be _some kind_ of easy fix.  “vuh-vuh-vuh- _very._ ” He gasped for breath after what felt like years, gripping the arms of the leather chair he was seated in. “Very old. It l-looked _very_ old.”

 

“Very good.” Hannigan nodded, the _V_ rolling off his tongue and making James hate him just a little. “When we last met, you gave up on almost all of our more difficult exercises. I'm proud of you for persevering.”

 

James nodded, guilt suddenly washing over him for harboring ill will towards Hannigan for even a second. When they had first begun his speech therapy, almost a full year earlier, James had hardly spoke at all for fear of ridicule from classmates. Even in his group of friends, he couldn't bear to make himself contribute much to conversation. Alex talked enough for three people, part of why he loved the boy so much. There was never that deafening silence like at home, his parents cutting their chicken into tiny precise pieces and never exchanging a word. James’s fear weighed heavily on his shoulders in his icey household, never around Alex and Laf and Mulligan and the girls.

 

“Now, I want to discuss the contents of your journal entries from last week.” James went tense once more at Hannigan’s words.

 

It was his homework, per say, to document his feelings at the end of each day in his journal, so Hannigan could observe his mental state and perhaps examine how much of his stutter was socially enforced. His parents had once suggested to the man that James’s stutter was purely psychosomatic, something the boy could never quite forgive them for. _Yeah, like I would choose to be a pariah. Good thing I never plan on coming out to them._ Luckily, Hannigan knew better. _He's a doctor after all, not parents with a perfect little mold they need their son to fill._

 

“-and the deep level with which you feel emotions leads me to conclude that you're hyper empathetic.”

 

“Wait, wh-what?” James snapped back into focus, forehead crinkling.

 

“Hyper empathy,” Hannigan went on with confidence. “Is simply when you feel things so strongly, particularly for other people, that it can be overwhelming.” _Shit._ James hadn't realized there was a term for that. His parents would call it soft. Maybe childlike. “Your entry about the kidnappings report on the news that left you sobbing for hours is very prominent to me.”

 

James bit his lip. The news report had been heart wrenching, some poor missing little girl’s mother who waited outside for her every single night, all night, just in case she was finding her way home and got lost. The thought of it made him almost start crying again.

 

“And again,” Hannigan was flipping through one of James’ journals now, eyebrows pressed together pensively. “When you talk about your friend Alexander’s story about the hurricane.” James squeezed his eyes shut tight, heart thumping in his chest. It was just the thought of his friend _suffering_ , someone so strong being so _afraid._ He wished he could take all the pain any of his friends had ever felt and put in on him.

 

“An individual with strong empathetic tendencies not only sympathizes with someone, but feels their pain. In _hyper_ empathy, the person feel this magnified to the point where there may even be a physical response.” When Lafayette had once casually mentioned being _harmed_ by an older man in a previous foster care home, James had thrown up. “Is this sounding right to you James?” Hannigan asked softly, and James could only nod. Yes, it felt much too close to home. Yet having a name to this powerful way he felt things, knowing he wasn't alone, let him relieve the tension he hadn't been aware he was holding.

 

“It's not a bad thing James.” Hannigan touched his arm. “You love a lot, you care a lot. It could be perceived as a gift, if managed correctly.”

 

“A g-g-g-gift?” James swallowed, feeling vulnerable but hopeful. Maybe it was his _parents_ who were wrong, not Hannigan. Maybe it wasn't wrong to care.

 

“If managed.” Hannigan smiled warmly, glancing at the clock. “I want you to pay close attention this week to how you react emotionally to the world around you. Document how you feel, no matter how small you think it is. And we can go over this more next week. Here's some exercises to work on at home for the stutter.” He handed James a printed out list of phrases, each full of daunting syllables and sounds, but James took it with resolution.

 

_I have a gift. And when I best this stutter, that gift will be all that's left._

 

_Like a superpower._

 

**Thursday, October 12th, 2016**

**1:32am**

**Angelica Schuyler’s Bedroom**

 

“Look, we’ve already established that Peggy is fine.” Thomas, for once, didn't have a rude or smarmy edge to his voice. He only sounded tired, sitting on the floor with his boyfriend between his legs laying into his chest, Thomas hugging the boy so tightly it couldn't possibly feel good. “I think we need to deal with what she actually _said._ ”

 

Angelica was the only one still standing, the bandages on her hand from where Peggy had dug her nails a sharp reminder that everything was _real_ . That this was _happening._ Alex wanted to close his eyes, shut it out, but he knew he might fall asleep if he did. He was tired.

 

Three things had happened all in complete unison in the terrible moment when Peggy’s heart stopped.

 

James had fainted, sending Thomas into a bird- like state of panic, the teen flapping around helplessly holding his boyfriend up, looking around for a solution while everyone's eyes were on Peggy.

 

The second was that Mr and Mrs Schuyler had burst into the room, followed by a nurse, and had reasonably freaked out. They started yelling at Angelica, maybe because she was the oldest, maybe because she was seated the closest to Peggy, and maybe because Eliza was sobbing. Whatever their panicked logic, the fact that their instinct had been, in that instant, to blame Angelica would haunt and scar the girl in an indescribable way. But Alex only caught this partially, as the third thing that happened pulled his focus.

 

Lafayette, frozen for several seconds, suddenly had turned on his heels and _ran_ out of the room. He bolted through the doors so quickly that Mulligan and Alex, having been holding his hands, were jerked backwards. And the two only had to exchange a glance before following him.

 

They chased the sound of his footsteps down the vacant linoleum hall ( _god why does Laf have to be so fast_ ) until they found him right outside a back entrance to the parking lot, hunched over a trash can and gripping the sides as he retched.

 

Mulligan, breathing hard from the chase, walked over and pulled the stray strands of hair from the boys face tenderly. He rubbed Laf’s back until the boy was finished, Alex just watching with his hands on his knees as he willed his heart to get out of his throat and back into his chest.

 

“What is it?” Mulligan asked as Laf stood up, eyes flickering to Alex and someone behind him.

 

Alex turned to see that John had followed them, also breathing hard, and felt a tendril of warmth break through the lump of ice in his lungs and allow him a moment of comfort.

 

“Just….Peggy.” Laf sighed, looking much older than a seventeen year old had any business looking, and leaned into Mulligan.

 

Mulligan was frowning.

 

Alex knew Laf like the back of his hand, and it was obvious he was lying. It had been her words, her words about _Laf_ and his strange prophetic vision that had him shaken. Even without the prior knowledge Alex possessed, Mulligan seemed to know this. Alex sighed.

 

“Tell him Laf.” He said and Laf flashed him the briefest look of betrayal before it was replaced by resolution. _You know I'm right. You can't hide this. Not now._

 

He felt John step close to him and, acting on instinct over his usual tendency to overthink, he leaned into him. He felt John slide an arm around him, rubbing small circles into his shoulder gently, and that tendril of warmth spread through his entire body.

 

“I've just...been seeing things.” Laf said guiltily, pulling back to look up at Mulligan. “And I didn't want to say anything yet because I was hoping it would go away?” He ended the sentence with a lilt, like it was a question, and Mulligan remained frowning.

 

“But you told...Alex.” There was something unreadable in his voice but the helpless look in Laf’s face was enough for Alex to clear his throat.

 

“I pushed him to tell me, but that's not the point.” Alex said, a little sharply, as if to remind the boy that Laf needed _comfort_ right now, not interrogation.

 

“I _know_ it's not the point.” Mulligan never raised his voice, not ever, but his words did take on a slightly sterner tone. He looked back at Laf, shaking away whatever transparent jealousy he had and took a breath. “What..what have you been seeing Laf?”

 

Laf opened his mouth to speak and only a sob came out. This seemed enough to break Mulligan out of his trance completely, rushing forward to reclaim Laf into his embrace, hugging the boy tightly to his chest and murmuring indecipherable words of comfort into his ear. He was rubbing Lafs back and kissing his head and it felt so intimate Alex turned away, instead looking up at John. He noticed the boy was still holding him and almost jumped backwards, like a snake was in front of him, but decided he had been through enough to just enjoy the sensation.

 

“So...what do you think of all this?’ He whispered, Laf explaining his floating words to Mulligan in the background. John turned to face Alex, not releasing him but instead shifting his arm to his lower back, absently rubbing circles again and Alex felt his face heating up.

 

“I feel terrible.” John said hoarsely. “Lafayette looks terrified. James Madison fainted. And Peggy and her sisters…” He trailed off and Alex felt guilty that he had only just now remembered Peggy. _Peggy, who could be dead._ He shuddered, nausea washing over him, but John’s words brought him back. “And I'm worried about you.” He said softly and Alex crinkled his forehead.

 

“Me?” He said it almost without meaning to. “Why?” Alex wasn't the one in the hospital bed, nor the one crying.

 

“You look like you just want to fix everything.” John said softly, studying his face. “I know how you're always doing shit all the time, so you must feel kinda helpless. And I hate that.” He shrugged. “Plus, this shit is really terrifying.”

 

Alex, for the life of him, couldn't figure John Laurens out. When did he suddenly start knowing so much about Alex, start _caring_ about Alex? He swallowed, aware of their close proximity, and meant to step away but instead stepped closer. His arms moved of their own accord, wrapping around John’s neck, and he pulled the boy in for a tight hug, his head rested on the boy’s shoulder. John had hugged him back immediately, rocking him gently and resting his face in Alex’s hair. It was so comforting, so warm and (he would analyze this feeling for several sleepless hours to come) so _safe_ , that Alex couldn't fight it. He started to cry, only allowing himself one little sob, before attempting to hastily wipe his eyes. John had only held him tighter.

 

“What she said?” Eliza parroted Thomas’ words, face etched with exhaustion. “She said we needed to go back into the woods. I don't think that requires any analysis.”

 

“I don't want to go back.” Laf whispered, gaze distant, and Angelica’s head snapped towards him.

 

“Tough shit. Peggy was clear.” Laf flinched at her words, his uncharacteristic vulnerability making Alex just want to hold the poor boy, and Mulligan clenched a fist.

 

“Don't you think,” He said slowly, talking through his teeth. “We need to at least talk about it?”

 

“I didn't sign up for this alien shit.” Thomas grumbled, the angry look he was attempting somewhat diluted by his chin resting on James’ shoulder. “But I still want to know what's going on.”

 

“And Peggy said the answers are in the woods.” Angelica said with finality. _This would be where Lafayette sets her straight._ But his friend only stared at the floor, so Alex spoke for him.

 

“Yeah and look what happened to Peggy.” Despite the arguing, none of them save Angelica carried any real animosity in their tone. They all just sounded like they needed a very deep night of sleep.

 

Once Alex and the others had composed themselves and reentered the hospital, they found the others outside in various forms of distress. Eliza blank faced, Angelica pacing, and Thomas whispering to a just awakening James.

 

“How is she?” Alex had asked, believing the absolute worst. Believing Peggy was dead.

 

“She relapsed into her coma.” Eliza had answered him, eyes unmoving and tone devoid of all feeling. “The doctors are checking for brain damage. My mom and dad are staying here all night. I think they blame us.” Angelica had stopped pacing.

 

“Not us.” Her voice had been cold. “They blame me.”

 

They had carpooled back to the Schuyler’s in silence, the two sisters texting their parents furiously for updates. Only Eliza received responses.

 

“Peggy said ‘He will give you answers’, or something like that.” Eliza was clutching the fabric of her skirt in her hands, rubbing it between her fingers like some sort of lucky talisman. “Who is the ‘he’?” Angelica looked at Alex.

 

“Well, she was looking at Alex. Wasn't she?” He squirmed uncomfortably as all eyes turned to him, John included.

 

“Let's just decide if we want to go back or not.” John said, touching Alex’s arm comfortingly, and Angelica frowned.

 

“Since when are _you_ a part of this?” John blinked in surprise.

 

“I saw the same shit as you guys. Silver orb. I watched that stuff go down with Peggy.”

 

“He's part of it now.” Lafayette mumbled and Angelica rolled her eyes.

 

“If we do go back into the woods, he shouldn't come.” Alex opened his mouth to argue but she went on. “And we _are_ going back.”

 

“When?” Eliza asked and Angelica looked to Mulligan, who looked to Laf.

 

“I...I'm okay.” Laf smiled weakly. “I would just rather not. But I think everyone here would rather not. Tomorrow?”

 

“James can't tomorrow.” Thomas said, eyes narrowing as if they should all already know this. “Thursdays after school he has speech therapy.” Angelica made a sound of frustration, sinking into the bed beside Eliza.

 

“And he can't miss it this once?”

 

“No,” Thomas growled, voice dry. “It's not fucking algebra class. He can't just skip it.”

 

“S’okay.” James mumbled and Thomas shook his head.

 

“No. Friday.”

 

“Friday is the game.” Laf and Mulligan said in unison, and Angelica looked ready to tear her hair out.

 

“Then _after_ the game. We can go Friday.”

 

“I'll be there.” John said, rising to his feet, and Angelica’s eyes narrowed.

 

“I said no.”

 

“And who made you captain?” He challenged, crossing his arms. Her expression softened slightly.

 

“Look, the bottom line John is that you weren't there the first time.” Angelica looked apologetic but her gaze remained stern. “We don't know that we can trust you because you aren't one of us. And I'm not saying that to be mean. But none of us really know you.”

 

“I know him.” Alex ventured and jesus, when did he start standing to Angelica up for boys he had known less than a week? _When you cry on them in hospital parking lots, that's when._

 

“That may be Alex,” She said with a frown. “But you shouldn't have brought him to our clearing in the first place.”

 

“That's not fair.” Mulligan spoke before Alex had the chance, response far more calm than the short boy’s would have been. “James brought Thomas and we all haven't known him for very long.”

 

“Because I'm his boyfriend.” Thomas snarled defensively. “Just because Alex wants to suck John’s dick doesn't make him a part of the group.”

 

Alex felt his face flush with white hot anger, unable to even look up at John or any of them for the undiluted fury that was making his heart pound. In that moment, he hated Thomas Jefferson. And for the duration of that moment, for that instant of heated humiliation, he wished Thomas was dead.

 

James looked up at him sharply the second the thought crossed his mind and guilt washed over Alex, which he shook away. _There's no way he knew what you were thinking Alex, relax._

 

“Thomas!” Angelica hissed and the boy only shrugged, looking more annoyed than remorseful.

 

“I could earn your trust.” John ignored them both, tone confident but eyes betraying his unease. “Like, maybe I could tell you guys a secret? For insurance? And you'd know I wouldn't say anything to anyone about you guys, because you could just tell the secret and ruin my life.” He smiled nervously, raising his hands in a gesture of _oh what the hell_.

 

“John.” Mulligan said warily. “You don't have to do this.”

 

“No, I like that idea.” Angelica nodded with finality and Alex just watched John, searching his face without really knowing what he was looking for. “Tell us John.”

 

“Well,” John scratched the back of his head, looking around the room at their faces, pausing only briefly when his eyes met Alex’s, before releasing a pained sigh. “I'm gay? So uh, we’re all in the same boat here.”

 

 _He's lying._ Alex thought, watching the others around the room gape at John, Laf’s gaze flickering to Alex. _It's a good lie, to get us all to trust him. He knows his audience._

 

But John went on, interrupting the nervous ramble of Alex’s psyche.

 

“Uh in middle school my dad caught me kissing a boy.” His face was red and he was now facing his shoes. “So we moved. From South Carolina. To here. Ohio. Um.” He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath and Alex felt like he was being held underwater, no air or gravity or sound. He wanted to touch John’s arm and tell him it was okay, he didn't have to say any more. They all believed him. But the room was silent and John just continued, voice shaking only slightly. “He told me that uh, I had to join a sport. That it didn't matter which one, but I _had_ to be in it. Or he would tell my mom and she….she would be worse.” He swallowed. “So football. I like it. And my dad's happy. I guess it doesn't matter to him if I bring home a girlfriend as long as I can play straight.”

 

Everyone was just staring at him, the only one standing, the one in the center of the room, and he offered them all a weak smile, meeting everyone's gaze except for Alex’s.

 

“So I won't tell. You can trust me.” He nodded and there was another bout of silence, broken only by James’ coughing, and Angelica finally stood up.

 

“Okay. We can trust him.” Her voice was kind and Alex let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

 

“So Friday, after the game?” Eliza asked and they all nodded in agreement.

 

“You can all sleep here if you want.” Angelica finally started to sound as tired as the rest of them, laying back on the bed. “There's guest rooms. Go wherever you want.” Laf immediately reached for a pillow and curled up where he was, facing the wall.

 

“I have to be home.” John's tone was apologetic. “So uh, if anyone needs a ride I can take you.” He seemed to be asking Alex specifically, eyes imploring. But Alex couldn't look away from Laf, who he knew needed him now more than ever. _Plus, I don't know if I can handle being alone with John right now. Little bit of an information overload._

 

“I should stay.” He whispered. “With Laf.”

 

“I'll take that ride.” Mulligan stood up reluctantly. “My parents are already mad as hell that i'm not home yet.” John nodded and Mulligan faced Alex, lowering his voice.

 

“Take care of him, yeah?” Alex would’ve resented being told to take care of his best friend if it had been anyone else. _They're so in love and they don't even know it._

 

“Yeah.” Alex whispered and turned to John, who flashed him a quick smile before the duo left.

 

“C'mon.” Alex watched Thomas and James leave in search of a guest bedroom before crouching down next to Lafayette.

 

“Hey.” He shook his friend. “Why don't you stop pouting and we go find a bed?” The corners of Laf’s mouth slipped into a smile.

 

“You insensitive prick.” Laf mumbled with a laugh, smacking Alex with the pillow, and the two grinned at one another. It was somewhat forced laughter, but very needed. “Alright, let's go.”

 

Eliza remained in Angelica's bedroom with her sister, and Alex stumbled into what he assumed was her bedroom. It was neat and inviting, the bed sheets eggshell white and the walls a muted yellow.

 

“She won't mind.” He shrugged and collapsed into the bed, feeling the mattress sink as Laf laid down beside him, immediately claiming the majority of the blankets.

 

“Alex,” Laf whispered after a moment where the only sounds had been their breathing. “Am I going to watch you all die?”

 

 _I don't know._ It was the honest answer, and one that scared Alex. But instead of saying that he touched Laf’s arm, the boy’s back to him.

 

“No.” He whispered with false confidence. “If what Peggy said is true, then the words you see above people's heads are their last words to _you_.” He nudged him playfully. “So maybe we all watch you die instead.” Laf snorted.

 

“God I hate you.” He said and paused before adding: “Thank you Alex.” Alex gave his arm a squeeze before pulling his hand away.

 

“Goodnight Laf.”

 

And when Alex was almost drifting off completely he thought he heard Lafayette speak again. But he was so near sleep that he was certain he had imagined it. And what he thought he heard was his friend whisper, in the softest of voices:

 

“I don't see any words above Mulligan’s head.”

 

**Saturday, May 9th, 2015**

**7:20pm**

**Yorktown High Gymnasium**

 

Prom.

 

It was the most anticipated night of the year, at least for Alex and Lafayette. A night to dress up, cast cares aside, and dance under cheap streamers drinking cheap punch.

 

Lafayette had wanted to ask Mulligan, Alex knew. But it was too much of a risk. Even if they went as friends, the whole school would cast a critical eye on the quarterback, still very much in the closet.

 

“I mean, Mulligan is big and he can handle himself.” Laf had explained, out tuxedo shopping with Alex and James. “But I don't want them to make his life hell. We hear the whispers in the hallways everyday, and I don't want that for him.”

 

It was a sweet sentiment, but only partially true. Lafayette was the bravest person Alexander knew, strutting through the halls with his chin up and a devil may care attitude, but not in regards to how he felt. Asking Mulligan to prom would have certain implications, certain _romantic_ implications, that Laf wasn't ready to face. _He'll never tell Mulligan how he feels. He would never take that risk._

 

So the two of them were dates, James pairing up with Eliza and Mulligan with Angelica, and Alexander was happy as a clam. He had barely been able to afford the dance, thinking it too extravagant to waste money on, but Laf had convinced him it would be worth it.

 

“Think Alexander,” the wistfulness in his voice already having Alex half convinced. “A night where nobody cares that we’re pariahs. Well, that _you're_ a pariah. I'm a cheerleader.” He joked, nudging Alex, before once again turning serious. “We’ll only be in high school once and then our life of success and New York awaits us. Let's make at least _some_ memories of this place that aren't terrible, _non_?”

 

So they had gotten seasonal jobs at a cell phone kiosk in the only mall within a thirty mile radius of their town. The uniforms were tacky and it meant standing all day, but in only a month both had saved enough money for tuxes and prom tickets, discounted if you went as a couple.

 

It was a night they intended to remember forever. Eating at the Cheesecake Factory beforehand and splurging on some key lime. Laf drove them from there to the school, where they were only twenty minutes late, all their friends waiting under the disco ball, dancing their hearts out.

 

They would never make it inside.

 

Alex had thought that they were subtle enough to slip under the radar that was the student body’s system of social discipline. But apparently Alex’s swirly earlier that week hadn't been punishment enough for reminding the school that gays existed.

 

“Well, well, well.” Lee and Eacker were waiting for them just past the parking lot, with a couple of their football friends. “The fags showed up despite our very clear warnings.”

 

The jocks were idiots, usually cause for more annoyance and discomfort than true fear. But it was dark out, with nobody around and the pounding music of the gym masking any sound, and Laf and Alex were simply outnumbered.

 

“Bite me Lee.” Alex had snarled, venom in his eyes but stepping backwards nonetheless. _Nowhere to run._ Alex had simply reached for Laf’s hand and managed a quick squeeze before the boy’s rushed then.

 

Lafayette received the worst of the pummeling. Alex was just as out as his best friend but Laf was a male cheerleader, and he was wearing a blazer completely covered in blue sequins. _An homage to Bowie_ , Alex remembered his friend explaining.

 

“This will be a night we never forget!” Lafayette had squealed at dinner, somehow convincing the waitress to give them an appetizer for free. “I know it.”

 

Alex, nobley, didn't go down until Lee’s third punch landed, and it was one square in the jaw that ended with his face on the pavement. When he slammed into the rough gravel, woozy and in pain, he barely registered Lee’s kicks into his side, knocking the wind out of him and darkening his vision. All he could see, a few feet away, was his friend, who had fallen much, _much_ sooner. Distantly, he registered that only Lee was beating the shit out of him. That meant the other three were on Laf. _Three._

 

His friend, when the jocks grabbed them, had immediately been clawing and kicking and shouting obscenities in french and english alike. But now he was quiet, a hand holding his face into the gravel, shouting words Alex couldn't hear but did not have to. The song of hate was always the same. He watched, in slow motion, the two pairs of feet reeling back and driving themselves into his friend’s stomach and legs, over and over and over and over whilst feeling the pain blossoming in his own torso. He watched his friend’s eyes meet his, so unfeeling and resigned that for a horrible moment Alex really believed Laf was dead. That this was it, they were really going to die tonight. Just some names on a list that would be spread around in a pamphlet on bullying or in a psychiatrist's office somewhere.

 

But then, across the three feet yet endless stretch of pavement between them, their eyes locked. And Lafayette winked at him.

 

And Alex almost imagined that the corners of Laf’s lips, squished roughly by the hand on his face pinning him in place, turned upwards into a slight smirk. Alex had never been in more pain in his life, and it was the second most afraid he had ever felt. Yet that wink renewed his hope, his survival. _We’re gonna be okay. We’ll always be okay._

 

It would be three minutes before a teacher, chaperoning the prom, would happen to take a smoke break in the parking lot. She would find Laf and Alex on the ground abandoned, one having fainted completely and the other with a broken nose and a broken wrist that stopped him from participating in the more dangerous cheerleading stunts. But there were two more minutes between then and now of pure bashing, every kick fueled by hate.

 

And Alex started to see odd shapes and colors, his vision blurring, completely numb to all sound and feeling. But the last thing he was aware of before passing out was Laf’s wink.

 

That meant that Lafayette was okay. They hadn't killed him and, better yet, they hadn't killed his spirit.

 

And then everything went black.

 

**Thursday, October 12th 2016**

**10:20am**

**Yorktown High**

 

A hand on Alex’s arm stopped him on his way out of chemistry class, and it was not Lafayette, who had decided to ditch school today. Not that Alex could really blame him. Not only had they barely slept last night, but it was just hitting him how these events had only just started _Sunday._ Barely three days ago. It was a lot to process.

 

“Hey.” His eyes followed the hand up to Maria Reynolds, looking pretty and perfect as ever and even more so up close, rather than in her Instagram photos, which he stalked religiously. John Laurens wasn't the only one he had a crush on.

 

_John. John who is gay. John who came out._

 

“Hey.” He responded, losing his train of thought at the way her eyes were fixed on him and him alone.

 

“You didn't text me back last night.” She tilted her head and he scrambled to check his phone. Sure enough, an unsaved number had text him in the midst of visiting Peggy, the emoji with two pink hearts included in the message. _Two pink hearts? Whoa._

 

“I'm so sorry.” He bit his lip, aware of her hand still on his arm and a little embarrassed that she was taller than him. “I was...really out of it last night.”

 

“It made me think you weren't interested.” She said softly, a shimmer in her eyes. “Are you interested, Alex?” He gaped at her.

 

“I-in what?” He stammered as the hallways started to clear as kids rushed to class. She only smirked.

 

“Are you free after school Alex?” God, she had to stop casually using his name like that unless she wanted Alex to die of a heart attack right here outside of Chem.

 

“Isn't there practice after school?”

 

“For the football players. Coach cancelled cheer practice because we pretty much need the Marquis for all our stunts.” She shrugged and frowned slightly. “Why, do you have other plans?”

 

“No!” He replied much too quickly and her grin returned. “I mean I just…” He took a breath and leaned one arm against the wall, attempting to look relaxed and suave. “I can check my schedule.”

 

“Let me know.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek, his attempt at a cool demeanour evaporating instantly and he watched the sway of her skirt as she walked away for a long enough time that he was late to his next class.

 

He spent essentially the entire day at school mulling over what had happened last night. Peggy and Laf and _John._ He refused to let himself dwell on that. It was too confusing of information to process. Alexander was certain he hadn't absorbed a single thing from his teachers by the time the end of sixth period rolled around, and he was only succeeding in making himself feel sick with worry rather than thinking of any helpful solution.

 

And so when he found himself sitting across from the most beautiful girl in school in Burgertown, every student in the building throwing them envious glares, he could barely enjoy her company or the plate of nachos between them.

 

“Are you okay?” She asked, and the question was so genuine that it startled him. Maria had a reputation, and sincerity was not a part of it. He sighed and shook his head both in response and to clear it.

 

“I'm sorry. My mind's just been elsewhere all day.” She seemed to interpret his words differently, a smile stretching across her face.

 

“Mine too.” She reached for his hand and placed hers over it, warm and soft. He absently wondered if all girls were so soft. He didn't have much experience to compare. “It's been on you all day.”

 

He gulped at her directness and looked up at her, tearing his gaze from the fingernails tapping against his palm. He would’ve expected her nails to be red for some reason but they were a pale blue.

 

What saw in her eyes surprised him once again. Gone was the temptress he envisioned her as, all sultry looks and sinful smiles, and was replaced by the same shyness Eliza had around him, sweet and hopeful and looking like they believed you could hold the moon in your hand. It was terrifying.

 

“I really like you.” She said in the softest of voices. “You aren't really my….my type. But something about you.” Her hand tightened around his and her gaze grew piercing. “I've never felt like this about anyone. I feel like we were _meant_ to be together.” Alex was faintly aware that his jaw was hanging open.

 

“Not to be rude,” He raised his eyebrows. “But this is like, the first time you've ever really even spoken to me. You don't even _know_ me.”

 

 _Why are you trying to scare off a hot girl?!_ His brain yelled at him, but his teenage boy hormones were thrown off by how unnerved he felt by her intensity. He had never seen Maria with a boyfriend, and while many boys claimed they'd slept with her (in far cruder terminology) it was widely speculated that they had made it up. Why would a girl impossible to tie down, wanted by almost the whole school, want _him?_ It wasn't that he lacked confidence, he just wasn't delusional. He was a loser, and she was the queen bee.

 

“I don't have to know you.” She frowned. “I can just sense it about you. When I heard you singing in the gym it just….it changed me.” She nodded with absolution. “I had to have you.”

 

Alex wanted to be flattered. He wanted to blush and duck his head and carry on with the conversation, maybe get to kiss his first girl (aside from the Schuyler sisters, which didn't count). But with everything that had been happening lately, he was on edge. Everything was suspect. And when it came down to it, when the opportunity was presented to him, did he really want her? _No._ She was gorgeous, but Alex wanted someone else, didn't he? _Someone that you maybe have a chance with now._

 

“Maria,” He pulled his hand back slowly, feeling like a grade A douchebag at how quickly her face fell. “You're gorgeous. Like, literally you're stunning. But I just…” He stared down at the table. “I like someone else.”

 

“Is it the Marquis?” Her response was sharp and immediate. “Because everybody knows he's in love with the quarterback.”

 

“Shhh!” Alex looked around nervously despite knowing the whole school was well aware of Laf’s sexuality. _Doesn't mean they have to know he likes Mulligan._ Maria laughed.

 

“Don't be paranoid. Nobody's listening.” But Alex wasn't certain that was true. Almost everyone who attended the high school was watching them out of the corner of their eyes, making his heart pound.

 

“Can we just be friends?” He asked softly, turning back to her, and she sighed.

 

“I'll be your friend Hamilton, but I’m not about to give up on you.” She smirked, that seductive look that he was now convinced was a facade back in full swing, and took a nacho. “No one says no to Maria.” He laughed nervously and his phone buzzed just as the door to the restaurant slammed open aggressively. Eacker and Lee sauntered in, mean smiles on their faces as if itching for a fight. Almost everyone, Alex included, attempted to shrink into their seats as the boys ordered their food. He looked down at his phone.

 

_From: John Laurens_

 

-hey are you doing anything rn? Practice got out early?

 

Alex gnawed on his lip, glancing between Maria, munching on the nachos absently, and his phone.

 

_To: John Laurens_

 

\- I'm at burgertown, why what's up?

 

_From: John Laurens_

 

\- I was thinking that we could continue our alien research ? Maybe talk to Mr Washington

 

“Wow.” Alex was quick enough to lock his phone as Charles Lee slid into the booth beside him, smelling like sweat and axe body spray, and Alex suppressed the urge to cringe. “What's a pretty girl like you doing with a queer like this?”

 

“Yeah Maria. Doing charity?” Eacker said with a loud laugh at his own joke. _Clever._

 

Eacker stood at the head of their booth, knowing better than to squeeze in next to Maria. The other students would turn a blind eye to the abuse of kids like Alex or Laf, but it was a dangerous step on the social ladder to get on the bad side of the future prom queen.

 

“Fuck off.” She said with an ice in her gaze that surprised Alex, not bothering with false politeness. “Don't you jackasses have a cow that needs tipping somewhere?” Alex couldn't resist the breathy laugh that escaped him, a beginner's mistake, and Eacker looked at him murderously before swinging an arm around his neck, Alex’s throat tightening.

 

“Something funny, lover boy?”

 

“I said fuck off.” Maria stood up and spoke louder, other students now beginning to openly stare, and Eacker and Lee exchanged uncomfortable glances.

 

“I'll see you later Hamilton.” Lee whispered to him, a promise, before standing up and loudly announcing: “Yeah this booth is too gay for me anyway.”

 

He punctuated his sentence with a look at Maria, rather than Alex for some reason, who cringed. Alex watched in mild confusion as the boys grabbed their bags of fries and left, stupefied that the duo had let him off that easily.

 

“Thanks.” He said, staring at her with newfound respect. She shrugged but her gaze was distant.

 

“Those assholes are the fucking worst. Ignore them.” He smiled at her, a genuine smile that made her blush, and returned shakily to his phone.

 

_To: John Laurens_

 

\- That's a great idea. Should we grab the others?

 

And John responded with two words that made Alex’s heart flutter so violently he thought it would tear through his chest.

 

_From: John Laurens_

 -just us

 

**Thursday, October 12th, 2016**

**2:10am**

**John Lauren’s Truck**

 

“You didn't have to tell them you know.” Mulligan had been silent for the first few minutes of John driving him home, his face towards the window. John arched an eyebrow, waiting for his friend to continue, but the boy remained silent. John sighed.

 

“I wanted them to know Mulligan. It's okay.”

 

He and Mulligan were a vague sort of friends. They were teammates, and he was one of the few boys on the team that John didn't either despise or find incredibly obnoxious. Mulligan was usually silent but he was decent company, and John always stayed near him during practice.

 

“How did you know?” John asked softly after another couple of minutes. “I mean, how did you know I was gay?” Mulligan finally turned to face him.

 

“How did you know about me?” He repeated back, tone free of any challenge. _I didn't,_ John wanted to respond. _Not until now._ But that wasn't quite true.

 

He had never witnessed Mulligan doing or saying anything that hinted he liked boys, but he had still known, hadn't he? _In this world, you have to be able to identify your friends from your enemies on sight._ To others, Mulligan passed easily as heterosexual. But the first time John had laid eyes on him, he had known Mulligan was just like him. _Is he hiding in football too?_ He had wondered. _Or does he even know himself?_ Of course, watching the boy interact with the male cheerleader had quickly answered that question.

 

“I just knew.” John said simply and Mulligan gave him a knowing look.

 

“Me too.” He shrugged. “I just...never thought you would come out.” John wanted to be insulted but found he was only curious. He looked at Mulligan with a frown.

 

“Oh? Why not?” He asked, slightly defensive, and Mulligan looked forward to the road.

 

“You seemed like you were hiding.” Mulligan said, and his words knocked the wind out of John.

 

 _Hiding._ Mulligan was not wrong. John had never intended to come out, but not because of shame. He had always known who he was and what he wanted, despite his opinionated mother and very Republican father. He wasn't afraid. Well, not of _them._

 

“I am.” John whispered. “I see how everyone acts around Alex and Lafayette and hell, even Jefferson is treated like a pariah and his dad has the school in his pocket.” Mulligan nodded and John looked at him, really trying to observe him deeply. “What about you, why haven't you come out?”

 

He hadn’t questioned it before, even though he had always known about the boy. But now his curiosity was piqued. Essentially that entire group of friends was very gay and very open. John envied and resented them for this on a very primal level, a part of him deep inside even hating them for it a little. But mostly, he wished he was as brave.

 

Still, if Mulligan wasn't shy about being their friend, why not just come out? He had the social status, as quarterback, to be left alone. He was a big guy, nobody would attempt to shove him into a locker or beat him up in a parking lot.

 

Mulligan looked at John and something flashed in his eyes that was terribly, terribly sad. But it was replaced immediately by an equally powerful resolve.

 

“Lafayette.”  Mulligan said simply, with a shrug. “He gets a lot of shit, being a boy and a cheerleader and being so...flamboyant.” He was grinning fondly as he said it and John felt endeared to his teammate and his obvious admiration for Lafayette. “We spend a lot of time together. If I came out, I know nobody would fuck with me. But they might take it out on him, twice as bad. Especially if they thought we were dating. I'm sure you know what happened at prom last year.” John shuddered.

 

Yes, everybody and their mother in the shitty little town knew about the prom incident. It was easy for most people to dissociate themselves from the details, and considered poor etiquette to talk about, despite everyone’s sick hunger for the gruesome details. _Did you hear the cheerleader boy’s wrist bone broke skin? Did you hear how the little guy had a panic attack and punched a doctor?_

 

Just as everyone knew about the vicious violence, everybody knew who was responsible. Eacker and Lee wore the act like a badge of pride, as well as the couple other of John’s teammates who had participated in the hate crime. _Hate crime._ It was such a terrifying phrase but that was exactly what it had been, and the thought made John shrink back further into the metaphorical closet.

 

The boys had been only suspended, not expelled, as, on some weird technicality, Laf and Alex couldn't _prove_ that they had done it. _They asked a kids with a broken bones and black eyes for proof. Huh._

 

Hearing about what had happened had shaken John deeply, especially when he found out who it was that had been hurt. The thought of someone knocking Alexander Hamilton to the ground, trying to beat the light out of his eyes, made John’s stomach drop. It had made him sick then, before he even knew the boy beyond reading his writings in the school paper. But now that Alex was his friend, the thought made him furious. Nobody who was such an unstoppable force, such a wildfire of a human being, deserved to be left on the gravel in a parking lot, like a discarded piece of trash you can't even be bothered to toss into a bin.

 

“You care about him a lot.” It wasn't a question, and Mulligan just nodded.

 

“Yes.” He said softly. “I love him.”

 

It was such an honest and pure confession that, for some reason, John felt tears sting his eyes.

 

“I understand.” He lied, as if he had any idea of what being in love felt like. ( _admiration? you think about them day and night? you just want to hold their hand and protect them and make their friends like you? you want their friends to like you so bad, that you reveal your deepest and darkest secret?)_

 

It was a weird and sudden thought a thought that, strangely, felt like it had not come from within him but from _outside_ him. Like the thought had been placed in his mind.

 

“I know you understand.” Mulligan was looking out the window again. “I knew about you, like I'm pretty sure you always knew about me.”

 

John turned down Mulligan’s block. He knew the way, as he had given the boy rides home from practice before. The realization that they had been sortof friends for a while made him frown, something else dawning on him.

 

“If you always knew about me,” He asked as he pulled the car over, unable to look at his teammate. “Why didn't you ever invite me to hang out with you guys?” _Why did you let me be alone all this time?_

 

“I didn't think you'd be interested.” Mulligan looked genuinely surprised. “I always see you with Greene and Knox. Pretty popular dudes. I figured….” He trailed off but John understood. _Why hang out with the losers and out yourself when you could be cool?_

 

“Then what about you?” John asked. “You're pretty cool too. Hell, last year you were Junior Prom King.” The crowning had occurred as Lafayette’s arm was being fitted for a cast eleven miles away, in the same hospital Peggy now laid unconscious.

 

“Alex and Laf and James and the girls, we’ve all known each other since we were kids.” Mulligan looked distant and it occurred to John that he had never heard the boy speak this many words in one sitting. “High school is just four years. Four shitty years, and I want to know them all the rest of my life. I won't trade that. Hell, if I wasn't so worried about Laf, I’d be just as out as the rest.”

 

“I wish I had friends like that.” John felt heavy and resentful. If Mulligan hadn't just said that to him, he wouldn't have been aware of how lonely he was. You can't know the absence of something that has never been there to begin with. But now that John had realized this ocean of acceptance and friendship existed, he was acutely aware of his own measly puddle. “I wish I had _friends._ ” He added, softer, and Mulligan looked at him again.

 

“You got some now my man.” Mulligan laughter humorlessly. “For better or for worse, you got some now.”

 

And, thinking of the way Mulligan would clap his shoulder and of Alex's smile, John found he did not at all mind the circumstances.

 

**Thursday, October 12th 2016**

**5:49pm**

**Yorktown High**

 

“Mr. Washington!” They caught him locking the door to his classroom in the history wing, a stack of thick books under his arm.

 

“Alexander. Mr. Laurens.” The teacher raised his eyebrows in surprise.

 

Washington taught at the high school as well as partially at the local community college. Since Alex had fallen in love with his teaching methods freshman year, it was not uncommon for the gang to eat lunch in his classroom on days he didn't leave for Yorktown CC. They were safe from ridicule and, on many occasions, Alex had caught Washington smiling to himself at their various discussions, silently grading papers at his desk.

 

“We uh,” Alex was panting. The history department was up two flights of stairs and, unlike the boy with him, he certainly did _not_ regularly exercise. “We wanted to ask you some...some questions.” John was staring down at him in amusement.

 

“Breaking a sweat there son?” Washington was smirking slightly and Alex turned red.

 

“The stairs are literally taller than I am.” He huffed indignantly and John looked up at the teacher.

 

“Mr. Washington. We uh, wanted to ask you questions about your father. August Washington?” The man’s amused smile shifted into almost a grimace and Alex stood up straight.

 

“It's for a school project sir.”

 

“What project?” His tone was not unkind, but there was something in the way he had slightly stiffened that made Alexander feel like a child in trouble.

 

“On urban legends sir.” John said smoothly, and Alex wanted to kick him. It was too close to giving them away, to outright just saying _hey, we think your dad saw aliens. Ever say anything to you about it? Or is he like, still alive by any chance?_

 

Washington nodded and glanced down at his watch. He shook his head, seeming to have decided something, and unlocked the door.

 

“Alright, come on in boys. Let's just keep this quick. I'm meeting my wife for lunch in an hour.”

 

Alex slid into a desk adjacent to Washington’s, the man remaining standing, leaning backwards on the desk and facing them, gaze distant.

 

“Did your father, August, ever mention anything to you about uh...anything weird?” Alex said vaguely and Washington looked between them.

 

“Aren't you two going to write any of this down?” They blinked at him blankly. “For your _project_?”

 

“Oh!”

 

Alex scrambled to grab his notebook from his backpack, accidentally tipping it upside down in the process and dumping it's contents all over the floor. John gave him a look, nudging an empty ramen noodle cup that had tumbled out with his foot, as Alex struggled to shove all his trash and assignments back inside.

 

“Okay, ready!” Alex clicked his lead pencil and John snorted, Washington simply smiling patiently.

 

“Well, one thing you kids have to know right away, for the credibility of whatever this project is, is that my father…” He frowned, gnawing on the inside of his cheek intently. “He was not right in the head.”

 

It was the last thing Alexander had been hoping to hear. It meant that their own hope of answers, _his_ only hope of answers, rested with some loon.

 

“Not after the war, anyway.” Washington leaned back on his palms. “When Pa was eighteen, back in 1944 son write that down, he joined the army. Just a scrappy little kid from Texas.” Washington smiled distantly, Alex writing in quickly scrawled shorthand to keep up with him. He could tell the teacher was on a roll now, lost in stories he must have heard as a boy. “He was part of the 36th Infantry Division in World War Two.”

 

“Wait,” John looked up, eyebrows furrowed together. “The 36th...wasn't that the Missing Battalion?”

 

“The Lost Battalion.” Washington corrected, looking impressed. “Very nice Mr. Laurens.” Alex squirmed in his seat, annoyed that John had known something about history that he had not. _History._

 

“What is that?” He asked reluctantly, a little put out, and Washington adopted his storyteller voice once more.

 

“During the war, a unit of the 36th division, the 2nd unit, was captured by Japanese soldiers and nobody really knew what happened to them until they were found. The unit had just…” He leaned in closer, the boys inadvertently doing the same. “Vanished.”

 

“Did they die?” Alex whispered, the air sacred around them, almost smelling of gunpowder and dirt, and Washington smiled knowingly.

 

“No, son. They were prisoners of war. Kept in slave camps. For forty two months” He shuddered and Alexander felt a chill creep down his spine. _That's almost four years._ “My Pa was one of the men they rescued from the Burma railway.” His frown deepened. “They forced them into intense physical labor almost the entire span of the time they were imprisoned. He said that when they brought him back to America…” Alex put his pencil down when he heard Washington choking up slightly, looking down respectfully. “That he had forgotten what it felt like not to have a shackle around his ankle. He had forgotten was fresh water tasted like. He had forgotten the sound of his mother's voice.” Washington paused for breath and Alex noticed John leaned all the way forward in his seat, hanging off the history teacher’s every word. _Please tell me John doesn't dream of war and glory._ Alexander knew being in the army was considered noble, but he privately thought most wars could be resolved without bloodshed. _A pen and paper could unite nations without a shot being fired._

 

“It took him a long time to recover, to have the strength both mentally and physically to get out of bed. He met my mother was he was thirty nine and had me at forty.” He was smiling now, but it was sad. “By then, he could talk about it all without so much as a flinch. He told me about the railway, the sweat and the hot iron, like it was a bedtime story.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, time frozen in suspense, before he blinked them open and looked at Alexander, a mischievous light in them. “But he told me other stories too.”

 

Alex picked up the pencil once more.

 

“He moved here, to Yorktown, after I was about four months old. It was where he grew up, before Texas, and he wanted me to experience it.

 

“He talked about this little clearing in the woods he would visit. I doubt it's still there, Rowan Woods used to be massive back in the day.” John and Alex exchanged glances. “Anyway, he used to do a lot of birdwatching. He hated manual labor, had ever since the war, and it calmed him. It was his favorite hobby.” Washington seemed to remember they were in the room, the wistfulness in his tone dropping off, and he sighed. “My father was forty and had been through a lot….now I don't pretend to know how to explain what he claims he saw but….I do believe that _he_ believed it.”

 

“He said,” Washington went on after a beat. “That he...he met and spoke to an alien out there.” He paused, as if waiting for them to laugh, but both boys were still. “Now, the trauma in Burma he could talk about as easily as he could talk about the day he met my mother. But the day he went missing in those woods...he wouldn't say anything about it. The first day he came back he was raving about aliens and silver lights, according to mom, but after they took him to the hospital...he clammed up. He wouldn't breathe a word about it. As a child, of course I believed in aliens. I wanted to hear the stories and if he saw a real spaceship. But if I even brought it up….he would leave the room. That's why I always believed him.” He said it defensively, daring them to defy him. “I don't know what he really saw...but I believe him.”

 

“We believe you sir.” John said softly after a long silence, and Washington seemed to shake out of his reverie, expression visibly hardening.

 

“Yes well, did you boys get everything you need?” Alex blinked before remembering the notebook before him, grabbing it and shoving it into his bag.

 

“Uh, yes. Thank you.”

 

“He didn't...he didn't mention anything else about the alien encounter, did he?” John asked and Alex threw him a hard look. _Don't push this._ “Any voices?” Washington flinched as if struck and stood up quickly.

 

“No. No he did not.” His time was curt and dismissive. Following his cue, Alex stood up and followed the man out the door.

 

“Whose class was this project for again?” He asked them as he turned to lock the door, an edge to his voice. John rocked back and forth on his heels beside Alex, as if eager to run away.

 

“Johnson’s.” Alex said in perfect unison with John responding:

 

“Peters’.”

 

Washington fixed them with a long stare and Alex grabbed John’s sleeve.

 

“Well uh, we gotta-”

 

“Go.” John finished and the boys fixed him with twin grins before scurrying away, Alex finding the stairs remarkably easier on the way down.

 

The history department was located away from the main campus building on the other side of a football field, which the two practically ran across.

 

“Holy shit.” Alex gasped at John when they were safely behind the gym, although the idea of Washington giving chase and demanding answers seemed pretty absurd. “It's happened before. It's totally happened before.”

 

“This is insane.” John said, laughing and running a hand through his hair, Alex’s eyes following the motion. “I mean, we’re actually getting somewhere with this.” Alex’s smile faded.

 

“I don't know. It feels like a dead end. Wash didn't know much and clearly he won't tell us what else he knows.” John shook his head, leaning against the wall.

 

“No, if August saw whatever we saw, then _somebody_ else has to have. It mean that the aliens or whatever have been here before, and will come back.” The thought made Alex suddenly very, very afraid. He looked up at John with innocent eyes.

 

“John, I think we are in over our heads.” He whispered, a concept which did not often occur to him. John stared at him.

 

“We don't have to go back to the woods if you don't want.” He said suddenly, softly. Alex sighed.

 

“I'm scared but Angelica already made up her mind. And I may _look_ like they listen to me, but whatever Angie says goes. I can't talk any of them out of it.”

 

“I didn't mean the group.” John moved so he was standing in front of Alex. “I meant _us._ We don't have to go back.” Alex smiled, it was a sweet thought, but unrealistic. John’s smile said he knew this as well, was partially joking, but another thought occurred to Alex and he frowned.

 

“Why didn't you tell me you were gay?” John looked startled.

 

“I did. I told everyone I-”

 

“No.” Alex said with frustration, frown deepening. “I mean at the library. When I came out to you. I was _terrified_ you were just some straight jock and was risking getting the shit beat out of me. And you didn't tell me.”

 

“Oh.” John looked down and Alex thought he looked almost bashful. “Uh.” He rubbed the back of his neck, the toe of his shoe nudging a rock absently. “You had _just_ came out so I didn't want it to seem like I was coming on to you or anything. I didn't want to make it weird.” Alex snorted, rolling his eyes, and his exasperation lifted.

 

“You're an idiot.” Alex laughed, John smiling once he saw Alex’s own grin. “I was thinking you didn't tell me because you didn't trust me or something. I know you wouldn't hit on me.” He said dismissively, starting to walk them towards John’s truck. John caught up with him, falling into step beside him.

 

They walked in comfortable silence, climbing into the truck as the sky began to shift from blue to golden. But instead of starting the car, John looked at him.

 

“Wait, why did you say that?”

 

“Say what?” Alex rubbed his arms to warm them, buckling his seatbelt.

 

“That I wouldn't hit on you?” Alex gave him a weird look.

 

“Uh, because you're-” He gestured to John. “And I'm-” He waved his hand in front of himself and John stared at him incredulously. Alex felt awkward under the heat of his stare, wondering when _the fuck_ he was going to just start the car and change the subject. _Don't make me spell it out man. You're out of my league._

 

“Alex,” John said. “I like you.”

 

“I like you too John and I think you're gonna fit right into the gang if that’s what you want and-”

 

“No, Alex.” John was staring down at the steering wheel, cheeks a remarkably bright shade of pink. “I _like_ _you_ like you.”

 

“Oh.” Alex felt his own face heat up, staring out the windshield and swallowing heavily.

 

The next thirty seconds of complete silence were the most awkward and wonderful Alex had ever experienced. He was blushing furiously but also fighting to contain a grin that might split his face in half. _John Laurens likes me!_ **_Me._ ** _And not in a friend way. In a gay way!_

 

He realized then that John was waiting for him to say something, and he cleared his throat, willing his voice to be steady.

 

“I like you too.” He said softly, glancing at John out of the corner of his eyes. “ _Like you_ like you.”

 

“Well alright then.” John said softly, grinning down at his hands.

 

The boys snuck a glance at one another at the same time and looked away violently, both sporting matching blushes and grins. They smiled out their respective windows, each lost in an innocent and giddy fantasy, before John cleared his throat.

 

“Uh. Guess I'll drive you home now?”

 

“Yeah.” Alex looked at him and smiled warmly and John honest to god _giggled_ . Alex thought he might have a heart attack from how _good_ this moment was. _That's it. I have so many ways to say so many words and nothing says it better than_ **_good._ ** _This is good._

 

They drove in comfortable silence, Alexander feeling warm from the crown of his head to the tips of his toes. He wasn't really thinking about where to go from here, of kissing John or dating John or the social repercussions both those actions might have. Alex was just thinking about how he liked John Laurens and John Laurens liked him. _Wow._

 

John pulled up his truck in front of Alex’s house, the boy intending to spend all night on the phone with Lafayette a) making sure his best friend’s mental state was okay and b) slyly letting Laf know that the world's hottest boy was into _Alex._ John didn't say anything when he stopped the car, staring at the wheel, and Alex felt hot again suddenly, unsure of himself. _Do I say something? Should I just go?_

 

He awkwardly reached for the door handle and John touched his arm.

 

“Wait.” John’s eyes flickered to Alex’s nervously  before he leaned in and very quickly kissed Alex on the cheek, Alex very aware of how soft his lips felt and how heavy his hand was on Alex’s arm. “Call me.” John whispered shyly, the two sweetest words anybody had probably ever said to Alex.

 

“Okay.” Alex nodded numbly and gave John an idiotic grin, just dopey with happiness, and jumped out of the truck. John waited until he was on the porch to drive off, giving him a little wave, and Alex huffed with laughter as he watched the boy drive off. _Is this real? Did this really happen?_

 

Looking around to ensure no one was watching, he lifted his hand and pressed two fingers to his cheek where John had kissed him. Then Alex ran inside and into his room, Lafayette’s phone already ringing.

 

**Thursday, October 12th, 2016**

**10:35am**

**Yorktown High**

 

_To: James Madison_

-You doing okay?

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- Just tired :/ and scared

 

_To: James Madison_

\- scared of going back to the woods?

 

_To: James Madison_

\- because I will not let ANYTHING happen to you babe

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- I'm scared for you Thomas

 

_To: James Madison_

\- oh?

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- Something weird is going on with you and everyone ignored it

 

_To: James Madison_

\- I was probably just tired and hallucinating

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- you teleported

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- I know you're scared of that word but that's what happened

 

_To: James Madison_

\- We’ll get more answers when we go back into the woods

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- I don't want anything to happen to you

 

_To: James Madison_

\- dont worry about me babe. I'm a lot more worried about you. You fainted James. Are you sure you're fine?

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- I've just been feeling like….weird

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- But like you said, I'll get my answers in the woods

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- And I'll be fine as long as you're with me

 

_To: James Madison_

\- darth vader himself couldn't fucking tear me from your side

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- you're such a loser <3

 

_To: James Madison_

\- It was nice sleeping next to you last night

 

_To: James Madison_

\- I mean, the circumstances were obviously not ideal. But I loved having you there

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- I'll always be there for you too

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- I know you think you have to be the brave one, but I'm here for you too. It's okay to be scared.

 

_To: James Madison_

\- Hah. You always see right through me Jemmy

 

_To: James Madison_

\- I am scared but it's not because of how weird things have been. It's the fear of the unknown. I don't like not having answers

 

_To: James Madison_

\- what I'm most scared of is that we’ll go to the woods and there’ll be nothing and we’ll never get any answers

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- we’ll find answers

 

_To: James Madison_

\- how can you be sure?

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- Alex is sure, and I trust alex

 

_To: James Madison_

\- He doesn't like me

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- He just doesn't know you

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- do you trust me?

 

_To: James Madison_

\- with my life

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- then don't be afraid. We'll find answers in the woods

 

_To: James Madison_

\- okay

 

_To: James Madison_

\- I love you so much James. You know that, right?

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- I know it, but feel free to frequently remind me :p

 

_To: James Madison_

\- I love you I love you I love you

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- Such a clown

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- I love you too

 

_To: James Madison_

\- Wanna ditch sixth period and let me buy you boba?

 

_To: James Madison_

\- We can totally makeout in the parking lot

 

_To: Thomas Jefferson_

\- Twist my arm why don’t you

 

**Friday, October 14th, 2016**

**9:52pm**

**Yorktown High’s Football Stadium**

 

“Could you explain the game to me Alexander? I still don't really know what's going on.” Eliza’s eyes were bright and he smiled warmly at her, admiring her outfit. She wore a gray jacket and a scarf the exact same shade of pink as her mittens and the knitted cap she wore. He loved how adorable and put together the girl always looked, despite the sadness lurking behind her smile.

 

“I'd love to if I had a goddamn clue how the game was played.” He smiled cheekily and heard Angelica huff from Eliza’s other side.

 

In contrast to her sister, the other Schuyler looked as though she hadn't slept in the past two days a single wink. Her eyes were red rimmed and her outfit consisted of jeans and a large gray sweater, the hood pulled over her head and shadowing her face. Alex knew she loved football, yet was hardly focused. _She must be thinking about the woods after this._

 

They all attended the game with the intention of immediately grabbing the three of the group involved in the sport and making a dash for the woods. That way, they could all cite to their parents that the game had run late. Or, in the case of Mulligan and Laurens, that they had simply been lectured by the coach longer than usual. _Assuming we return from the woods alive._ He thought of Peggy, traumatized but still breathing, and tried to steady himself.

 

“Eliza it's literally the fourth quarter. Just cheer when everyone else cheers.”

 

As if on cue, Mulligan ran the ball across the yard line and the entire stadium jumped to their feet, Alex and his friends reluctantly following along with half hearted cheers.

 

Lafayette appeared to be more himself, yelling and cheering and shaking his ass with the other cheerleaders from where they stood just off the field, in the dirt track. Laf caught Alex watching and gave him a wave of his pom pom, Alex laughing and waving back as his friend did a high kick for him. Maria sauntered up to Laf, whispering something in his ear, and they both giggled. Alex went red as Maria blew him a kiss, Angelica and Eliza turning to stare at him curiously.

 

“Is it almost over yet?” Thomas was dressed just as fashionably as Eliza, yet on him it felt startlingly inappropriate for a football game. He looked more as though he were dressed for a day at the country club.

 

“How should I know?” Alex grumbled back, still not having forgiven him for his comment at Angelica’s. The girl sighed.

 

“You guys are such stereotypes, knowing fucking nothing about sports.”

 

“Then aren't you a stereotype too?” Thomas said cheekily. “For actually knowing everything about football?” She went silent and James elbowed Thomas, giving him a disapproving look.

 

Alex watched as someone in the colors of the other team passed the ball and John intercepted it with a lithe leap into the air. Unable to contain himself, he jumped to his feet and clapped.

 

“Whoo! Go John!” Many turned to look at him and he sank back down, face pink, and Thomas snickered.

 

“Guess you have a chance with him now huh?” Thomas leaned in to whisper, on Alex’s left, and Alex turned to glare at him before realizing the boy wasn't mocking him, his eyes were sincere. _Huh._

 

Alex remembered the day that James had told him he was dating Thomas, Alex had tried to talk him out of it.

 

“He's a fucking douche James.” He had whined, oblivious to the smaller boy’s growing frustration. James had always looked up to Alex somewhat, despite them being the same age. So Alexander was used to James taking his advice without question. But the boy had clenched his fists.

 

“Y-y-you don't e-even knuh-ow him Alex.” He had growled, and hadn't spoken to Alex the rest of the day.

 

 _I guess I don't know him._ Alex frowned but Eliza tugging his sleeve brought his focus back to the game.

 

“Look!” She pointed at the cheer squad, now forming some weird formation that featured Lafayette standing on the shoulders of two very tall girls. They all began chanting, waving their pompoms from left to right in hypnotic unison.

 

“Score score! We want more! We'll drive it to the finish and own that board!”

 

On _board_ , Lafayette did a backflip off of the two girls, seeming to stay in the air for an unsafe amount of time before landing perfectly on his feet, hands up in the air triumphantly. This time when Alex jumped to his feet, the rest of his schoolmates followed suit. Alex always felt like a mama bear watching Lafayette do his stunts, excited but cringing in fear that he might land wrong and break an ankle. Or re-break his wrist. _I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that once you break a bone it's easy to break it again._

 

He remained on his feet when the man in white and black ( _referee_ , he could imagine Mulligan correcting him) blew a whistle and suddenly the football was in the air. Mulligan caught it and began running, Lafayette down below stopping mid chant to scream his name. As a _massive_ boy from the opposite team bore down on him, Mulligan passed the ball in a perfect spiral.

 

The entire crowd, visitors and home students alike, held their breath as the ball sailed through the air. So that it was perfectly quiet when John Laurens caught the ball, unaware of another large boy bearing down on him. And it was perfectly quiet when the boy slammed his body into John, the _crack_ as John fell, arm bent the wrong way like a broken toy, echoing across the field and stands.

 

The referee blew a whistle that Alex vaguely knew meant foul or time out or _something_ but his focus was on John, laying on the grass and crying out. Evidently he had made it past the yard line- the Rams won and the crowd was ecstatic-but Alex didn't care. He suddenly found himself racing down the bleachers and jumping over the small gate separating field from crowd, his friends not far behind.

 

“John.” He gasped, reaching the boy as he was being shifted onto some yellow stretcher, smiling weakly.

 

“Hey Alex.” His mouth was bleeding. “We won!”

 

“Is he okay?” Alex looked at the nurse, a man with silver hair, who gave him a sympathetic look.

 

“Dislocated shoulder. Your friend will be fine. It'll hurt like hell but that was a _great_ catch kid.” Alex shifted his weight from foot to foot in frustration. _Who gives a shit about the catch?_ But John was beaming.

 

“God, my first real sports injury.” He seemed oddly elated. “Did I look like a badass, babe?” Alex managed to ignore the ‘babe’ comment, knowing John was just high off the adrenaline of his win, and gave his good arm a squeeze.

 

“Sure John. You looked real cool.”

 

“So this is gonna take like what, twenty minutes? We have somewhere we _really_ need to be.” Angelica, who had apparently been behind Alex all along, asked in a clipped tone. The nurse frowned.

 

“I'm sorry hon but your friend will be in the hospital for at least the night.”

 

“We can wait until Sunday then.” Alex whispered but Angelica crossed her arms.

 

“No. I'm sorry John, but I won't- can't-wait any longer. I don't know what's wrong with my sister but I need answers.” She sounded so desperate, so _pleading_ , that Alex knew he had no fight left in him. John just nodded bravely.

 

“Hey, it's fine. Go without me.” He reached up and gave Alex’s hand a squeeze. “Text me after, yeah?” His face was now etched with agony, clearly the adrenaline wearing away, and Alex resisted the urge to hug him.

 

“Yeah.” He said and, nodding to the nurse, he watched John get lifted away into the back of the ambulance that had just arrived.

 

“Shit.” Lafayette was beside Alex after a moment, pompoms hanging dejectedly at his side. “That meatloaf almost took his arm off.” Alex snorted and looked at him.

 

“He's fine. Where’s Mulligan?” Laf rolled his eyes.

 

“With his fangirls.” He pointed towards the bleachers and sure enough, a line of girls- mostly freshman- were waiting to take pictures with the ever popular quarterback. “I swear, he stays single just to feed their fantasies.” Alex gave him a side glance.

 

_Yeah Laf, that's why he's single._

 

“Great flips tonight Lafayette.” Eliza caught up with them, the tip of her nose cutely pink from the cold, and the cheerleader gave her the sweetest of smiles.

 

“With such beautiful girls watching, it was easy.”

 

“Hey so,” Angelica had her hands shoved in her jacket pockets, watching the crowds slip away gradually. “It's now or never.”

 

“How about never.” James mumbled, fingers intertwined with Thomas’, and Alex envied them deeply. The two seemed blissfully unafraid of all the students around them, blissfully free from the fear that someone might see and want to pummel them into the pavement. He glanced at Laf and saw the same envy in the boy’s eyes.

 

“Someone get Mulligan.” Thomas said, kissing the top of James’ head, and Laf smirked.

 

“I got it.” Laf lifted his hands and cupped them around his mouth. “MULLIGAN!” He shouted and the boy looked up instantly.

 

He said something apologetic in the ear of the tiny girl taking a selfie with him, shrugging charmingly at her disappointed frown, and broke out into a jog towards them, stopping right in front of Laf with a grin matched only by the other boy.

 

“Great cheering.”

 

“Great game.”

 

“Oh for the love of god.” Angelica rolled her eyes and started marching towards the back of the field, where Laf’s car was parked, and the others followed suit.

 

Alex fell into step beside Eliza, Angelica blazing ahead and the others arm in arm with the boy they were in love with. He pulled his jacket tighter around himself bitterly. _If John were here I wouldn't feel so on the fringes._ But the sweetness of John’s confession had faded and now only insecurity settled in. John, he reasoned, must like him because he didn't _know_ him. _If he got to know me he wouldn't be interested. He's a star football player whose daddy has money and that everybody loves. What the fuck could I offer him?_

 

The parking lot was significantly less well lit than the stadium, the sudden darkness melting away any warm spirit and post game adrenaline surges the teens had possessed. They wordlessly climbed into the back of the van, Lafayette driving and Angelica in the passenger seat. There was a bag in the back with a change of clothes for Mulligan, him switching out shoulder pads and a sweaty uniform for a thin hoodie.

 

Alex reached into the bag himself, grabbing the miniature flashlights Laf had picked up at the dollar store and passing them around. The seriousness had sunk into his stomach with the weight of a rock pile. And from the shadowed looks on his friends faces, they were in similar states of anxiousness.

 

“I wish we weren't going in the night.” Eliza said softly. The streetlights occasionally filled the van with dull orange hues before abandoning them in darkness even blacker by contrast.

 

“I wish Peggy wasn't in the hospital.” Angelica mirrored her tone, voice barely carrying back to the others.

 

“I wish,” Lafayette said, louder. “that we hadn't seen that thing in the first place.”

 

“I wish we can find some answers.” Thomas reached forward to where James was seated across from him and squeezed his knee, the boy giving him a little smile.

 

“I wish John was here.” Alex looked down at the flashlight in his hands, the plastic surprisingly cold, as if it were metal instead. As if this wasn't a child's game, but a reality.

 

“I wish everything would be okay.” James said after a while, jumping as the car hit a pothole. There was no such turbulence on the main roads. They were now nearing the woods.

 

“I wish,” Mulligan stretched his arms and neck, joints cracking with a volume that seemed to expand in their silence, remind Alex of the sound John’s arm had made. “For the chance to clock whatever the fuck did this to us.”

 

The others let out breathy laughs, allowing themselves the entertaining notion of Mulligan punching a giant floating orb, before the van began slowing to a crawl and Laf killed the engine.

 

“We’re here.” Laf announced, what little light there was evaporating completely with the headlights.

 

Eliza tugged off her pink mittens with her teeth and Alex watched her grip her flashlight with slender fingers.

 

“Let's do this shit.” Alex couldn't resist a small smirk, as the sweet girl didn't curse often.

 

He clicked on his flashlight as they jumped out of the van, each device barely illuminating a small circle around it's holder’s feet. Alex looked up and blinked, the almost full moon half hidden behind a cloud. _The stars are better light than these cheap shits._

 

A once hallowed path felt ominous, stolen, as the familiar leaves crunched under Alex’s feet. He was afraid but the fear suddenly made him angry. _This was_ **_our_ ** _place. This was our only place, and it has been violated._

 

“What exactly are we looking for?” He heard Thomas ask from behind him. It was so dark and the foliage so thick that they travelled single file. Alex, Angelica, Laf, Mulligan, Thomas, James, and Eliza. He wished Lafayette were beside him.

 

“We’ll know it when we see it.” Angelica suggested hollowly, giving none of them any comfort.

 

Alexander reached the edge of the trees and stopped instinctively, waiting until the others were clumped around him. It felt like a cruel parody of the night of their bonfire. _Sunday._ Much had changed since then that he didn't want to dwell on.

 

“Ready?” He asked, the cloud passing from the moon and momentarily they were all bathed in a silver glow. It should have been beautiful but felt eerie and chilling, all as pale as if they had already died.

 

“No.” Lafayette said with a half smile and the others laughed weakly. As if to prove something, Laf took a shuddering breath and was the first of them to shove through the tree branches and into the open, unprotected air.

 

The clearing was far brighter than the forest, the sky unobstructed by trees, and Alex had to blink several times to adjust. Once into the clearing, they had all stopped again, simultaneously realizing none of them had planned this far ahead. _Now what?_ He might have felt embarrassed by their lack of foresight, standing like deer in the headlights just beyond the treeline, when he looked forward.

 

They were not alone.

 

A boy was sitting cross legged, dead center in the middle of the clearing, clearly in their age range although Alex did not recognize him. Alex felt annoyance surge through him. Of all the nights for some stranger, probably from the next town over, to stumble upon their clearing, it had to be tonight.

 

But it only took the boy looking up, making direct eye contact with Alex across the vast expanse for him to realize that the figure was not human. He felt his friends press in closer, shuddering around him, and knew he was not alone in this realization.

 

There was nothing visibly remarkable about the boy. But to look at him was to know. The very air around him felt _wrong_ , like the earth and all its matter felt the being as a presence did not belong here. Alex felt with an absolute chilling certainty that his eyes were never meant to see this boy. _Not boy, thing._

 

He was compelled to take a step closer and he did, the only one to break away from the little huddle they had formed. Underneath the pale moonlight, the boy tilted its head at Alex and rose to it's feet, brushing the grass off it's very human looking jeans.

 

“Hello, idiot.” It said, face stretching into a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading I love you xoxox


	4. Pardon Me, Are You

_"Once you get into cosmological shit like this, you got to throw away the instruction manual."_

-Stephen King, IT

**Friday, October 14th, 2016**

**10:58pm**

**Rowan Woods**

 

“What the fuck are you?” Alex could count on one hand the number of times he had seen Mulligan angry. But right now the boy looked ready to charge the tall figure, who was still smiling at Alex.

 

“You couldn't pronounce it.” He said dryly, and held up his hands defensively, palms out. The movement, however, looked almost comically unreal. Like a child mimicking an adult motion he had witnessed. “Relax. You need all the allies you can get after the colossal mess you all have made.”

 

“Us?” Thomas shrieked incredulously. “What did _we_ do?” The alien’s voice was cold.

 

“You took something that did not belong to you.”

 

“We didn't take anything.” Angelica sounded afraid, voice shaking, but tinged with the same fury as the others. “You said you're an ally? Can you explain what's wrong with my sister?”

 

“Sister?” He blinked and she huffed.

 

“The one of us that's in the hospital, half dead!”

 

“Ah, the All Knowing.” He said sadly. “The human body is too corrodible, too small to hold such a force. I am surprised it did not kill her instantly. It would take a being of incredibly purity to withstand the All Knowing’s gift and curse.”

 

“Sounds like Peggy.” Eliza whispered. Lafayette stepped forward, taking Mulligan’s arm. He visibly relaxed at the cheerleader’s touch.

 

“None of what you're saying makes sense.” Laf said softly. “What did we steal?”

 

“When we touched the orb.” Alex said suddenly, and the creature gave him a look of approval. “That has something to do with it, right?”

 

“Did we chip the paint on his spaceship or what?” Thomas growled.

 

“Fool.” It spoke in the softest of voices, yet the air seemed to visibly chill around them at its disapproval. Alex felt goosebumps appear down his arms and legs. “It was no spaceship. What you touched was a holding device.” He looked frustrated and said something in an indecipherable voice that sounded like it came from all around and inside him. “I do not know a word for it in Human. It was like...a lunchbox. And you opened it with your touch and your bodies stole what was within.”

 

“We didn't mean to.” Eliza said and it laughed meanly, a breathy sound.

 

“That matters not. You stole something. And now, Retrievers will come and find it gone.”

 

“What do we do?” Alex asked at the same time Laf whispered:

 

“Retrievers?”

 

“Do?” It stepped closer to them, either ignoring or not hearing Lafayette. “There is nothing you can _do_.”

 

“I'm sorry,” Thomas broke away from James and marched right up to the boy. “What _exactly_ did we _take_?”

 

“Weapons.” He said and looked at Alex once again, seeming to be holding in a laugh. “Although, what the Retrievers consider _weapons_ nowadays is just astounding. Back home, what _you_ stole would be considered a cheap mating trick. Songbird.”

 

It was the same thing Peggy had called him back in the hospital, and suddenly Alex had an inkling of how Lafayette had felt once he realized what his visions meant.

 

“What does that mean?” He heard Lafayette demand distantly, but Alex knew with sinking finality _exactly_ what he had “stolen” before the alien boy explained.

 

_Cheap mating trick._

 

“The ability stolen from our holder by your friend is one of song. If the Songbird human were to sing, anyone who heard his song would be instantly smitten.” Alex felt faint.

 

“Oh my god.” He breathed. “I sang in front of the _whole school_ . That's why Maria Reynolds wanted me so suddenly.” _That's why everyone has been staring._ What had been in front of Alexander all week, just beyond his awareness, finally clicked into place.

 

All week, his classmates had been fixated on him. When he spoke in class, no one had interrupted. No one had rolled their eyes in annoyance. Even several teachers had not commented on him arriving late, him monopolizing class discussions. _Oh god, at least my friends weren't there. At least_ **_Washington_ ** _wasn't there._

 

“Maria Reynolds?!” Angelica was in front of him before he could blink, gripping his shirt collar with white knuckles. “What the _fuck_ did you do to Maria?”

 

“Jesus Angelica.” He stepped backwards just as Eliza grabbed her sisters arm. Angie deflated physically, but the flame in her eyes burned brighter than ever. “We just went on a date. What does it matter?”

 

“She's my girlfriend.” She hissed, shoulders slumping in defeat, and Eliza released her arm as if stung.

 

“Girlfriend?” Thomas said incredulously as all eyes turned to her.

 

“You...you never told me.” Eliza sounded crushed and Angie sighed.

 

“We didn't tell _anyone._ Maria was so terrified of people finding out, she made me swear. God, she hasn't been texting me back all week but I was too worried about Peggy to care.” She turned to face the alien boy. “How do we reverse it?” He blinked slowly.

 

“I'm sorry.” It sounded forced. “It's permanent. Anyone who heard the Songbird song becomes convinced they are life mates.”

 

“So, what?” Angelica’s fists were still clenched. “She just thinks she's in love with Alex forever? There’s no way to fix it?”

 

“Well, you could kill him.” The alien shrugged. “But even then, the chances of it neutralizing the effects of his song are half and half.”

 

“No.” Angelica said stubbornly, before a traitorous sob escaped her. “You son of a bitch. You just show up, ruin all our fucking lives, and accuse _us_ of stealing from you?”

 

“You did steal.” His voice was neutral. “But not from me.”

 

“You keep answering with these vague statements that only raise more questions.” Mulligan was calm again, resuming his long-standing role as the voice of reason. “Are you here to help us, or not?”

 

“Any information I give you puts you in more danger.” He said darkly. “I know I am being ambiguous, it is intentional. You all have a choice. If I tell you everything, your lives will be at risk. If you walk away now, I can make it so you have no memory of this encounter. The less I tell you, the easier the wipe of consciousness will be.”

 

“If we leave now, does everything go back to normal?” Eliza asked hopefully. He did not look at her.

 

“No. But your ignorance may protect you from the weapons you harbor.”

 

“Just fucking tell us.” Angelica said sharply, voice broken, and he tilted his head.

 

“I will only do this with the permission of your leader.”

 

One by one, they all turned to face Angelica. She noticed their eyes and nodded, standing up straight. It was obvious, even terrified, that they were all in agreement.

 

“Okay.” She said with a breath. “I give you permission.”

 

“You are not who I was referring to.” His stare pierced Alexander.

 

Angelica turned to glare and him and he startled, eyes wide.

 

“What-me? No. Look buddy, I'm not the leader.”

 

“It is not a question.” The creature’s voice was stern. “Do you give your permission, or not? Or would you like to wait for your mate to be present?”

 

“My-?” Alex turned a bright red, the heat of his friends gazes worse than the heat of the boy who wasn't human’s. _Jesus Christ he's talking about John._ “You know what? Fine. I give my permission.” The thing actually smiled.

 

“Then please, be seated.”

 

The group hesitated but all sat down in a half circle, the alien boy at the center of it. He took a breath.

 

“Allow me a moment to think of how to explain it. Our languages are...different. And I am having difficulties.”

 

“It's okay.” Eliza said sweetly, and Alex deeply resented the alien in that moment. He didn't deserve Eliza’s _human_ trait of benevolence.

 

“So I have been studying your species for multiple human lifespans.” He explained, hands clawing through the grass the way a child might, in search of ladybugs. “You could say I ‘majored’ in Humans.”

 

He did awkward air quotes around the word “majored” and Alex wondered if him being some kind of human specialist explained his forced motions. _It's like someone taught him how humans move but he hasn't learned the intent behind it._ His gestures were stiff and uncomfortable to watch, Alex’s body well aware that these signals, which he absorbed absently on a regular basis, were _wrong_ coming from this source.

 

“We have watched you from afar since you began walking on two legs and losing your fur. I have always found you fascinating.” He was looking at Alex as he said this and Alex almost got the impression that the alien was referring to him specifically, not the whole of humanity.

 

“Why the obsession?” Thomas sounded genuinely curious. “If you guys look exactly like us?” The alien looked incredibly pleased.

 

“Exactly like you? Thank you. I worked on this form for about seven human years.” He smiled and touched his face. “Every pore had to be believable.” Our true form is imperceivable to you. We exist on a frequency you cannot see, but can perhaps experience through other sensations. You might feel a slight chill in the air, a sense that you are not alone.” Alex shivered.

 

“And you've been here watching us, all along?” He asked softly.

 

“Of course not.” He frowned. “To be chosen to come to the Earth itself to witness Humans first hand is an...an _incredible_ honor. Few are trusted to only observe, not meddle. This is the first occasion, in our entire _history,_ that one of us has been granted permission to interact with a subject.” He held his chin high. “And I, at the top of my echelon, was selected as adequate.”

 

“You're here to study us?” James asked, the first time he had spoken, and the boy looked at him curiously.

 

“No, to protect you. My people have enemies; Retrievers is the closest human term for what we call them. The weapons you stole were theres, and they will want to extract them. Of course, the only way to do so would be to kill you, and that violates our code. We cannot allow a human to die by the hand of extraterritorial meddling.”

 

“Okay pause.” Alex said, the alien boy looking almost adorably confused. “It means uh, stop for a sec. Before we get the big alien backstory, can you tell us exactly what the weapons we stole _are_?” He knew his curse, but maybe it would not be so bad for his friends. Maybe Lafayette could be put at ease.

 

“When I am finished, I will. Many of you may become upset, as humans tend to do. And I do not want your emotional discomfort to interfere with your absorption of the information I am presenting you.”

 

“Did we change at all besides the weapons?” Thomas looked up suddenly. “Because ever since Sunday, James hasn't stuttered.”

 

“Oh.” Jame touched his mouth, looking as shocked as the rest of them. “I guess I haven't.” He looked down and then Alex heard him mumble to himself, very quietly. “The church was white and brown and looked very old.”

 

“Yes.” He looked annoyed. “May I continue?” Again, he was asking Alex, who nodded.

 

“No, I have questions.” Angelica seemed uncomfortable by the exchange, looking at Alex traitorously. “What are these ‘Retrievers’ like?”

 

“They are like me. We are the same species.”

 

“Wait, what?” Alex wrinkled his forehead and the alien went on.

 

“When we first began studying humans, a feud broke out amongst us. Many believed it was key to remain impartial, as we do with the other species we study.”

 

“Others?” Laf asked, and the alien’s condescending smile made Alex feel impossibly small.

 

“We are...more advanced than any other species in the galaxies. So we have made it our mission to study others. Humans among them. If it makes you feel better, you are _far_ from the most primal. And my personal favorite.” _Okay I swear to god he said that to me._

 

“We were evenly split,” He went on. “Many were enchanted by how emotion ruled and hierarchical humans are. They wanted to experiment. Start human farms and test what traits survive in various environments. Others argued this could damage how you evolve as time goes on. We divided and have been at war with the others ever since.”

 

“The Retrievers are your own species?” Mulligan was frowning deeply. “That's fucked up.”

 

“Ah yes,” The alien was deeply sarcastic, this appearing to come to him naturally. “Because humans have never been at war with their own kind. You all can barely handle deviations in skin color, so do not lecture me about unity.”

 

“You're right.” Mulligan said, looking down at the grass. Thomas cleared his throat.

 

“So you’ve been fighting the Retrievers for billions of years over _us_?”

 

“The human debate spawned our initial break, yes.” The alien nodded. “But our kind is one of quick adaptation. We have been apart from them for so long that, while we may be identical in our physical make up, how we govern ourselves and what we prioritize has...shifted dramatically.”

 

“When one of us comes into existence,” He went on. “We have a weapon, like the ones you inadvertently stole.” _At least he realizes it isn't our fault._ “And, as I told you, the only way for a weapon to unlatch from it’s Holder is in death. The Retrievers experiment on these weapons, evolve them. One of the primary reasons we are still at war with them. They kill us and steal our weapons, as they are vastly different from the weapons they have now evolved.”

 

“Why not just share the weapons when you die?” Eliza asked softly and the alien looked incredibly sad.

 

“We do not die unless killed.” He glanced at Mulligan. “And for some Retrievers, not even then.”

 

“That’s terrible.” Eliza said just as Thomas said:

 

“Like vampires.” The alien snorted.

 

“I was elated when the cultural fascination with vampires returned to Humans. Bram Stoker was delightful to observe.”

 

“Did you meet him?” James asked, then crinkled his forehead in confusion. He couldn’t remember ever getting through a sentence uninterrupted.

 

“Contact is forbidden by the Council.” The alien shrugged. “But they did have courses in preparation, in case one of us were forced to interact with humans, as I am now. It involved a lot of television.” Alex snorted, the alien looking confused but pleased at this.

 

“So, they want us dead, and the Council will protect us right?” Lafayette asked slowly.

 

“No.” The alien looked away. “The Retrievers are strong, and protecting you might open a war on human soil. We cannot allow that. That is why only I am here. More of us would alert the Retrievers. You see, they are different, as I expressed. More primal. They have developed more powerfully at fighting, but we are smarter. They are like the human lion, and we are the human. Alone, they could demolish us easily. But we are adept at hiding.”

 

“Then who’s going to protect us?” James whispered, Thomas pulling him closer, and the alien smiled.

 

“You are.” He looked at each of them slowly. “I am here to teach you. The weapons you stole are the latest from the Retrievers. You are stronger than them, for now. It is in the interest of my people that they do not harm our subjects, yes. But also that they do not get these weapons back. I will teach you to wield them.”

 

“We’ll have to fight?” Alex asked and the alien looked at him.

 

“I don't know.” He blinked. “I hope not. Since humans are generally unaware of activity beyond their own, both Retrievers and my people hide things here. I hope they will simply forget, but it seems unlikely, as this was their latest technology.” The group nodded slowly.

 

“Now will you tell us what we have?” Laf asked and he nodded.

 

“Something you all now possess in an incredible strength. We are naturally beings of infinite power, as we have to be to maintain galaxies. Now-”

 

“Wait,” Thomas sounded strained. “You _maintain_ galaxies? We have to fight invisible things of _infinite_ power that maintain _entire galaxies_?” The alien looked apologetic.

 

“We ah, we don't just maintain them. We shape them.” They all gaped, not understanding, and the alien sighed. “I want to clarify that we are _not_ omnipotent before I continue.”

 

“Continue.” Angelica whispered.

 

“We make the planets.”

 

“Jesus!” Thomas shrieked and the rest of them echoed similarly, Alex feeling the air around him grow thick.

 

“Did you...did you _make_ us?” Alex asked and the alien shook his head, much to his relief. He didn't think he could handle knowing God-like beings had taken a personal interest in both his safety and his demise.

 

“No. We are like...human chefs. We throw together recipes and study the results. Humans are our proudest achievement. Which is why we harbor such bitterness towards Retrievers, wishing you harm. They view you as _things_ which belong to them, to control. While my kind see you more like...children.”

 

“Touching.” Thomas snarked.

 

“Babe, let him tell us about our powers.” James touched Thomas, calming him instantly, and the alien smiled.

 

“I will start with you then, gentle one. Alongside the infinite strength you all posses, you possess the weapon of control. You can make anyone feel what you want, you can read their minds through emotion, and persuade anyone to your cause.”

 

“Like an Empath?” Everyone turned to Mulligan, who blushed. “What? I read comic books.”

 

“Precisely.” The alien nodded and faced Thomas.

 

“You can transport from one place to another. You-”

 

“I _knew_ it!” He glared at the others. “You fuckers didn't believe me that I could teleport.”

 

“It’s quite dangerous.” The alien spoke over him without raising his voice. He didn’t need to. “You can teleport to other dimensions as well as places you have previously been. Do _not_ practice without me, or you could end up lost in another universe. Or worse, you could teleport yourself out of existence.” Thomas gulped and nodded quickly.

 

“You, we already know. Songbird.” The alien honest to god _winked_ at Alex before turning to Lafayette.

 

“You have the Premonition. You can see the last words a soul will speak to you above their heads. This skill was warped by that of the Retrievers. It began as a prophetic gift, but now has a darker quality.”

 

“What is it?” Laf swallowed heavily, trembling, and the alien smiled.

 

“You can speak to the dead.” Lafayette went pale and Alex reached for his hand, beating Mulligan to it.

 

“Hey, thats badass Laf. Don't be scared.” Alex gave him a smile and noticed both the alien and Mulligan staring at their hands intently.

 

“How does that help me fight?” He squeaked and the alien shrugged.

 

“You can obtain knowledge lost to the living. All of you can fight with training, even if the weapon you wield seems ill fitting.”

 

“I don't want to fight.” Eliza whispered and he faced her.

 

“You don't have to. Well, not physically.” Her eyes widened. “You hold a dark power as well. Possession. You can place your soul into the body of another and control them, like a puppet. The strongest power the Retrievers have ever managed to produce. They can fight safe from home, taking on another’s skin like a coat.”

 

“No,” She shook her head violently. “I don't want it. I don't want this. Please, don't make me fight.”

 

“I won’t make you do anything.” He said sharply. “You fight or you die.”

 

Angelica wrapped her arms around her sister, who was shaking softly, and whispered something in her ear. The alien faced Mulligan.

 

“As I told you, my kind cannot die unless killed. The Retrievers have been developing something to reverse this for themselves, and I am terrified to see it so grotesquely evolved. But, at least in you, they will _never_ get their hands on it now. For you cannot die.”

 

Mulligan stared at him with wide eyes, mouth opening but no words coming out.

 

“I….” His voice was barely a whisper, hands clutching at the grass. “I'm immortal?”

 

“No.” Lafayette said defiantly, eyes distant, as if imagining a world where everyone Mulligan had ever known or loved had died...but he lived on. “This is all bullshit. None of us want this. Tell the Retrievers to just fucking kill us.” The two girls and James gasped. “I didn't sign up for a goddamn _war_.”

 

“Neither did I.” The alien snapped, rising to his feet. “Do you think my people were volunteering to come live on this miserable planet and protect clueless apes from Retrievers? _Retrievers._ They are our _worst_ fear. We tell our youngest that Retrievers are in their chamber to scare them into good behavior. If we were found here, the Retrievers would kill you all in a quick flash and take on your powers. Me? My suffering would be _eternal._ They _hate_ us, and we are weak in their hands. My kind have only survived because we are smart and fast and can hide. They are to us what your shoe is to an ant. It is only me, responsible for seven of you, probably eight if the Untouched comes along, and if I fail I am a disgrace to my people and the academy.” He was breathing hard, eyes wild, before suddenly bursting out with laughter. “Oh wow. They warned us that taking on a human form means subjecting yourself to _emotion_ , but I didn't believe it.” He laughed again and touched his face, eyes full of reverie. “This is _anger._ ” He pointed at Laf. “You made me _angry._ ” He looked like he wanted to hug the boy.

 

“Uh, you're welcome?” Laf looked regretful and the alien smiled, shaking his head.

 

“Goodness, being of constantly decaying flesh is exhausting. How do you all do it?” He didn't wait for an answer. “Come back in one human day to train. I need to leave this form and regain strength and my sense of self. Bring the eighth. I wish to learn from him, as he is Untouched.”

 

“Wait,” Angelica stood up. “What about me? What weapon do I have?” He frowned.

 

“I am sorry, but it must be entirely new. I cannot perceive it. The Retrievers have made it undetectable. They are getting smarter.” His eyes grew dark.

 

Angelica’s face was unreadable as she nodded. Alex wondered if the girl was relieved...or jealous.

 

“What happens now?” James asked, sounding as tired as the alien. “I mean, say we fight off Retrievers. Are they going to come after us forever? Are we going to have to come with you as warriors?” The alien startled.

 

“I forgot humans are unsatisfied with the present. I...I do not know. Maybe when I have been in my own form for longer, I can provide more answers.” He suddenly smiled at them. “I find you all terribly endearing in this form. You come armed tonight with what? Flashlights and the Teleporter’s sarcastic wit?” He laughed. “What if it had been a Retriever awaiting you? You humans...such faith.”

 

He apparent fondness made Alex smile, some of the weight he had been harboring finally lifting.

 

“Don't you want to know our names?” He asked, looking up. “And tell us yours?” The alien’s smile grew.

 

“They teach us in the academy how sentimental humans are, naming everything. Each other, animals, even inanimate objects. They had us select a human title should be ever have to speak to you. And now I can use it.” He looked at Alex. “I am Aaron.”

 

“Thomas.” He said, stepping forward and holding out his hand. Aaron stared at the appendage before enthusiastically reaching forward and shaking it, Thomas flinching in pain.

 

“Eliza.” Eliza said, not offering her hand as Thomas cradled his, mumbling about _infinite strength._

 

“Angelica.”

 

“Mulligan.”

 

“James.”

 

“Lafayette. But call me Laf.” Alex stepped forward.

 

“I'm-”

 

“Alexander.” Aaron interrupted, something flashing in his eyes. “We met when you and the Eighth returned to the woods.”

 

“You called me an idiot!” Alex gasped with mock offense, feeling suddenly fond of this weird extraterrestrial being, and Aaron looked bashful.

 

“I was not amused with the notion of facing Retrievers because of you. But I thought it _would_ be terribly amusing to see your response.”

 

“Aaron the alien fucking pranked you.” Thomas guffawed and the others couldn't resist giggles and snorts of their own, Alex going red as Aaron continued to smirk at him.

 

“Why the name Aaron?” He asked after a moment, and the boy looked pleased at the question.

 

“I like the double letters. It reminds me of a spelling in my own language for a rude name we call Retrievers. It is, what is the Human phrase….an inside joke.”

 

“With who?” Alex snorted.

 

“Myself.” They all burst out into laughs again, Aaron looking confused but pleased, and Alex soaked in the lightness of the atmosphere.

 

It was too much to take in. They were children being enlisted involuntarily in an alien war, they could die, and they now possessed weird strength and powers. _Thank god we can still laugh._ He wondered if they had been older, adults whose imagination and acceptance of things had been dulled with time, if they would have handled this as well. Or if their minds would have snapped. _Like August._

 

 _If we weren't all queer or ace….would we be so capable of handling this?_ He thought suddenly. They had all had years of practice at being outsiders under their belts, years of coping mechanisms. He wondered vaguely, distantly, is this was _meant_ to happen to them. But he dismissed the thought immediately.

 

“Then I guess we’ll see you tomorrow, Aaron.” Eliza said, saying the name slowly, testing it out. Aaron smiled.

 

“I will see you tomorrow Thomas, Eliza, Angelica, Mulligan, James, Laf. Alexander.” He said Alex’s name slower, giving the boy yet another wink. _If I didn't know any better I would think a literal alien was flirting with me._

 

And then, with an enormous crackling, like that of electricity, and a mechanical whirring sound that compared to no noise Alex had previously encountered all around them, Aaron vanished before their eyes. He didn't fade. He was simply there one moment, gone the next, leaving them alone in the clearing with their flickering flashlights.

  


**Wednesday, August 6th 2014**

**4:30pm**

**Donuts R Us Parking Lot**

 

“I think I need to go on a diet.” Alexander had powdered sugar all over his mouth and chin, which he seemed ironically unaware of.

 

“You said that after your fourth donut Alexander.” Eliza couldn't resist a little giggle, charmed by watching the boy attempt to lick clean his lips and failing miserably.

 

“Don't donut shame me Eliza. I don't get the average hours of sleep, I need sugar to compensate.”

 

“Then why,” She watched him grab another miniature donut out of the box resting between them on the curb. “do you keep talking about dieting?”

 

“So I can feel better.” He waved her comment off, speaking around a mouth full of donut. “It's just a thing television taught me Americans do; say they'll go on a diet and then eat even _more_ junk food, claiming to start the diet tomorrow, and repeat it the next day.” Eliza snorted and stole another donut for herself before he inevitably demolished them all.

 

She was glad she had been able to talk him into getting the sugary treats; Alex didn't like going out to eat often, as his foster mom rarely gave him money. But Eliza had claimed to have an _insatiable_ donut craving and so he had let her buy them a box of twelve miniature donuts, of which she had now eaten four.

 

“I forget that sometimes.” She said after a minute, kicking her feet against the low wall they were seated on, overlooking the donut shop parking lot. “That you're an immigrant too.” She glanced at him shyly. “We...we have a lot in common.” Alex looked up at her and smiled, painfully oblivious.

 

“We do ‘Liza.” The nickname made her heart swell almost as much as the force of his dark and compelling eyes on her and her alone. “That's why we get along so well. Well, and you buy me donuts.”

 

A lot had changed for Eliza since January. She had learned about herself after Sun leaving her life, learned who she was and what she wanted, and that she deserved these things as much as anybody else. _You're a little different but that's okay. You'll find someone to love you anyway._

 

And, looking at the talkative boy seated beside her, she thought maybe she might have already. Alexander was perfect for her. He already knew she was asexual, no surprises there. He knew what it was like to be a foreigner, on the outside looking in. He was friends with Angelica, the most important person in her life. And her father adored him. Alex was everything she had ever wanted, wrapped up in a neat little bow.

 

“You have sugar like, all over your mouth.” She told him and laughed, almost falling backwards off the wall, at him crossing his eyes in an attempt to see it. “Here.”

 

She pulled her sleeve up over her hand and leaned over, the box of donuts crinkling slightly between them, and wiped the power off with her sleeve, not minding the potential stain. Eliza was giggling but then she was not, suddenly aware that he was looking at her and only the thin fabric of her sweater was between her fingers and his lips. _I should kiss him._

 

She had only kissed two people in her life. Sun, the college boy, and James Madison during a strange game of truth or dare. With James, her friend, she had felt absolutely nothing. It was just a sensation, it felt like it was something happening _to_ her rather than something she was participating in. Yet with Sun she had rather enjoyed the sensation, up until tongue was involved. Then it had returned to that gray neutrality she now knew she would be forever familiar with. _Maybe I would like kissing Alex. I like being with him. Is dating so different from being friends, really? I can fall in love the same as anybody else._

 

“Thanks.” Alex said cheekily, rubbing his cheek with his own sleeve despite the donut dust being gone. “You're like the mother I never had.” He joked with that slick smile he used, one she recognized easily as a mask.

 

Eliza didn’t even register his words, making a decision that, oddly enough, had very little to do with him. She leaned forward and kissed him, their noses bumping, and could taste the sugary sweet remnants of the donuts on his lips. Almost immediately, after just an instant of stunned stillness, Alex gently held her shoulders and pushed her away, lips never even stirring against hers in return.

 

“Liza.” He said and then she saw it in his eyes; pity. How long had it been there?

 

“Oh god.” Eliza turned away, hot and embarrassed tears stinging her eyes, which only furthered her growing shame. “I'm sorry...I just thought...”

 

“Hey hey.” He took her hand and his voice was so soft, so sympathetic, that she wanted to run away. _Stupid stupid stupid._ “Eliza please don't cry.”

 

“I'm not.” She lied stubbornly, and he turned her to face him, fingers under her chin with a gentleness that was unbearable.

 

“Liza, you aren't wrong. I _like_ you.”

 

“What?” She blinked at him, cloud of humiliation clearing to a hopeful sunrise.

 

“I do. I like you.” He gave her a little smile and she felt the word before he said it. _But._

 

There was a catch. Something he wasn't saying. _Oh I like you, but-. But what?_

 

“You do?” She asked, a vague suspicion in her tone, and he nodded, giving her hand a little squeeze. “Then...then what's the problem?” She asked, voice barely a squeak.

 

“It's just. You're asexual. And I'm not.” Eliza felt dizzy, like his words were coming from underwater. A cruel track already was playing them on loop over and over in her head. _Asexual asexual asexual._ Like it was something dirty.  “I don't mean to sound like a dick,” He said flinching. _Well, you do._ “But Liza, you're one of my best friends. If we date, it would be nice. But eventually I would want…..more than you are willing to give.”

 

She felt her cheeks go pink, but it was less from embarrassment than a small but fierce anger.

 

“What?” She glared at him. “You won't date me because I'm asexual?”

 

“Think ‘Liza.” He sighed, looking down with a pained expression. “That...that wouldn't be fair to either of us. There’s _things_ I want from a relationship.”

 

“Sex.” She said bluntly and he blushed but went on, turning to face her.

 

“Yes, sex. As shitty as it is to talk about, it would come up one day. We would date and be happy for a while, but a day would come when I wanted sex. Because I'm not asexual. And I have... _things_ I need from a relationship like anybody else has needs.” He looked embarrassed but Eliza felt even more so. The level of humiliation she was feeling made her want to run away. _Freak freak freak!!!_

 

“And,” He went on, feeling the need to fill the silence as he _always_ did. Not recognizing her lack of words as a form of response, one begging him to just shut up already. “I don't want to lose you as a friend. It wouldn't work out, and I don't want to not have you in my life any more over that.”

 

“I think,” She said after a long silence, one he thankfully allowed her to think during. “I would have rather you just told me you didn't like me.”

 

_And the shittiest part is that I still like you, asshole. I'll still see you everyday and think about holding your hand and talking to you all night on the phone. But gee, at least I have the comfort of knowing the only reason we can't date is because I won't put out._

 

“But-” He tried to speak but she held up her hand, noticing it tremble slightly.

 

“Alex, it's fine. I'll just gonna go.”

 

“Eliza.” He protested in a shattered voice and she stood up fast, forcing a weak smile.

 

“It's not the end of the world, Alex. I get it. We’re still friends. I just want to be alone right now, okay?” _I need to get used to it._

 

He nodded, expression unreadable, and she didn't bother sticking around to decipher it.

 

Eliza had wanted silence, but without Alex chittering away at her side, the walk home felt impossibly long.

 

**Saturday, October 15th, 2016**

**1:01am**

**Alexander Hamilton's Bedroom**

 

Alexander had crept through his front door barefoot, leaving his shoes outside as not to even slightly risk waking his foster mother. She was old and slept like the dead, so the odds were slim anyway, but after everything that he had learned and seen, Alex didn't trust himself not to burst like a dam and babble out everything that had happened should he run into her.

 

Once back in his room, he had sincerely tried to sleep. Really, he had. But, staring at the ceiling with wide unblinking eyes, the exhaustion he had felt in the car ride home completely evaded him.

 

He lasted about ten minutes before promptly giving up and holding his cell phone to his ear, the line ringing enough times to make him fear John was asleep.

 

“Hello?” To his relief, John sounded wide awake, like he too hadn't been granted sleep’s reprieve. _Thank god I didn’t wake him up._ Alex thought vaguely, knowing he wouldn’t have felt guilty regardless. He was too high off adrenaline. “Alexander?”

 

“John.” He had breathed, voice soft but trembling with excitement. “I have _so_ much to tell you.”

 

Alex relayed every detail he could remember to John; from how Aaron had looked and sounded to the discussion of the group’s weapons. Their _powers._

 

“He wants _me_ to come to the forest tomorrow?” John asked in disbelief. To his credit, he hadn’t interrupted or questioned Alex once. Just made noises of affirmation, obviously believing in Alex wholeheartedly. Alex was glad his instincts had prompted him to call the boy, He was giving off just as much energy as Alex felt himself pouring forth and it was refreshing.

 

“Well, you don't have to if your arm is killing you.” Alex felt guilty, only now realizing that John must still be in a hospital bed. The boy chuckled.

 

“The painkillers they gave me are shit but I’d have to dislocate my other shoulder for anything to keep me from meeting a fucking alien.”

 

Alex laughed, picturing John’s crooked grin at his words, and for a brief moment all he could hear was John breathing through the phone. He closed his eyes, feeling as warm as if the boy was lying in bed next to him.

 

“So,” John said, voice a little lower, and Alex knew he had felt it too. “You can make people fall for you? That would explain all the staring then." Alex smiled, pleased that John had taken him seriously enough to remember how much said staring had bothered him, and pleased the boy had made that connection. "Should I be worried?” Alex let out a strangled laugh, surprised, embarrassed, and flattered all at once.

 

“Don't be an idiot.” Was all he could manage to reply, face flushed slightly. John laughed again softly, the sound filling the corners of Alex’s dark room, making it seem less so.

 

“So, tomorrow an alien is going to be our Jedi master and teach us the ways of the Force.”

 

“Wow,” Alex snorted. “It's a good thing you're gay because you would never get a girlfriend making references like that.”

 

“What?” John said with mock offense. “Girls _love_ Star Wars! You,” His tone grew teasing. “Are sexist to exclude girls from nerd culture.”

 

“You using the phrase ‘nerd culture’ just took ten years from my life.”

 

“Face it Alex, we are _living_ nerd culture now. Illicitly acquired powers- classic comic book trope. A helpful alien instructor? Science fiction meets _Karate Kid_.”

 

“Oh my god,” Alex rubbed the space between his eyebrows. “I always thought football players were cool. But you're a _fucking_ nerd.” John laughed hard and made a muffled sound, like he was covering his mouth.

 

“Awe babe, you thought I was cool?” Alex was grateful that this was a phone conversation rather than an in person one, feeling his cheeks go absolutely pink at the pet name. _That's the second time he’s called me babe in one night. Calm down Alex, be cool._

 

“Maybe once,” He said in a sing song voice. “Before I knew you were a Trekkian.”

 

“Trekkie.” John correctly quickly and Alex had to cover his mouth to conceal his laughter. _This is my life now. I'm talking to John Laurens at two in the morning and have new alien super powers._ It was an amusing but sobering realization.

 

“There’s something else kinda weird that happened.” Alex said after a moment, eyes outlining the shadows on his wall he had committed to memory. “But you can't laugh.”

 

“I won't laugh.” John promised but Alex could hear the smile already present in his voice.

 

“Okay it sounds fucked up but…..I think the alien was coming on to me a little bit?” John’s laugh was loud and wheezing and Alex wished he was with the boy only so he could slap him. _Well, maybe not_ **_only_ ** _._

 

“Well,” John’s voice was completely serious. “What were you wearing?”

 

“Oh shut the fuck up!” Alex hissed, grinning, as loud as he dared, John’s laugh echoing across his room once again.

 

“Did you…” He managed to squeeze out the question between laughs. “Did you sing in front of him?”

 

“I should sing in front of you.” Alex grumbled, intending it as a threat, but John’s laughter died down almost instantly.

 

“No need.” He said in that same low voice that made Alex’s heart drop to his stomach.

 

“Yeah?” He managed to ask, the softness of their voices feeling unbearably intimate.

 

“Yeah.” John confirmed.

 

An unwelcome thought occurred to Alex suddenly, one that refused to be dispelled.

 

“John,” He inhaled deeply. “You weren't….you weren't at that assembly Monday, were you? When I sang?” That would be perhaps the cruelest trick the universe had ever played on Alex. And now that he had realized that it was a possibility, he almost felt a physical burden on his chest, preventing him from breathing.

 

There was a long silence that terrified Alex nearly as much as the notion of fighting invisible alien entities. _Please say no. I don't think I could take knowing it wasn't real. It would crush me._ He’d had feelings on John for almost as long as he could remember, but over the course of this past week they had tied tendrils of hope around his heart so tight they were suffocating.

 

“No, I wasn't.” John said finally and Alex closed his eyes in instant relief. “Most of the football team ditched.”

 

“Good.” He said just as John started to speak, accidentally interrupting, and he bit his lip. “Sorry uh, go on.”

 

“Oh um.” John sounded uncharacteristically shy. “I was just gonna say you don't have to worry….about that.” He mumbled something else that Alex strained to hear.

 

“What? Sorry, I didn't catch-”

 

“I said that you don’t have to worry about that.” Alex’s mouth snapped shut, soaking in John’s awkward but sincere words. “Me, liking you. It's not some magic spell, ya know? I’ve noticed you.” Had it been this warm a moment ago? “I’ve always noticed you.”

 

Alex inhaled softly, the sound inaudible, and had to squeeze his eyes shut. _No_ **_fucking_ ** _way._

 

“Well,” Alex said after a beat, voice a little strained, the lack of oxygen from forgetting to breathe making him dizzy. “It's not _magic._ It's my _alien superpowers._ ” John snorted.

 

“And _I'm_ the nerd.” John said and Alex smiled, another comfortable long silence ensuing.

 

“Well,” Alex glanced the the time, phone screen a little foggy from how close he had been holding the screen to his face. “It's getting late. I should let you-”

 

“Wait.” John’s voice was tinged with something Alex couldn't quite place. “Just….stay on the line. Sleep but...stay on the line with me.”

 

Alex blinked slowly to verify that he was still, in fact, awake and nothing was wrong with his hearing. _Maybe my real alien weapon is me experiencing delusions._

 

“Okay.” Alex breathed and put the phone on speaker phone and plugged it into his charger, now committed to the idea of them staying on the line until dawn.

 

He laid back with his face towards the ceiling, hands folded on his chest in a strange semblance of a corpse laid to rest. The only sound was John’s breaths, like a lullaby, and Alex let his eyelids flutter closed, matching his breathing pace to the boy over the phone’s.

 

“Goodnight Alexander.” He heard mumbled, like in a dream, right before he fell completely asleep.

 

 _Goodnight John._ He thought in return, smiling sweetly all night long.

 

**Wednesday, April 3rd, 2012**

**5:17pm**

**The Laurens’ Kitchen**

 

Some people were not meant to be parents.

 

As a child, John Laurens was unable to recognize this universal truth; that some people did not know how to handle their own lives let alone another humans. As a child, he saw parents as the ultimate authority, the ultimate judge of character.

 

However as a bitter, lonely, fourteen year old, he realized this truth far too late in life. After the scars had already been embedded.

 

“ _Inútil!_ Useless little boy!” It was strange how, despite hitting his growth spurt and towering over her, John’s mother still managed to make him feel so small.

 

Only now the shame, the immediate sinking feeling of disappointing your idol, your hero, the one who kissed your forehead goodnight, was tinged with sharp cynicism.

 

“ _Lo siento mama.”_ He said without feeling, staring down at his shoes. _I just forgot to wash the fucking dishes because of football practice. God forgive me if I wanted to take an epsom salt bath first._

 

“You think I am a housekeeper?” She screeched, accent thick. When John was a child, the accent felt the way home cooked posole smelled. Like home. Now, he perceived only the gap between them. Her stubborn refusal to learn English completely was not a fondness for their heritage, but a stubborn attempt to isolate Henry Laurens. Their strained relationship was not one John admired.

 

“I forgot.” He said numbly, waiting for this to be over, and she hit him with her classic line that burned him so deeply as a child and burned him just as deeply to this day.

 

“Well Jack,” Eleanor threw her hands up in a helpless gesture. “I have a son who doesn't love me enough to clean, so I guess I don't love you anymore.”

 

Always always always she would find him later, apologize, pull the younger John into her lap and run her fingers through his hair. _Of course I love you. You just make mama so angry sometimes._ As if it was ever warranted.

 

And John just couldn’t comprehend how saying those words, those simple but biting words, could ever be okay. That a parent’s love should have to be earned instead of freely given.

 

“You know,” John inhaled sharply. “You can't just say that to me. You're my _mother_ and I-” _Slap._

 

Her hand across his cheek didn't hurt. Not physically. She was small and he was used to a lot worse during his games. But it filled him with humiliation and his eyes instantly, a gesture of respect ingrained into his core, returned to the ground.

 

“ _No le contestes a tu mama!”_ She hissed, but he recognized a new element to her voice; fear. Usually John always burst into tears and immediately repented. Never before had he questioned her. _Can't control someone who your words no longer hurt, querida madre._

 

“Yes mother.” John replied in a crisp voice as white sounding as he could muster, a subtle jab, still looking at the ground.

 

“John,” The woman’s entire demeanor shifted suddenly and John tightened his shoulders at her soft, loving tone. _She's a fucking monster John. Don’t let her-_ “ _Hijo._ ” John looked up when he felt her hand on his cheek once again, this time a gentle caress, lifting his chin. “It’s just the dishes, I….I forgive you. _Sabes que_ I love you.” Her eyes were watering, as if she was in pain, and John’s heart clenched tightly.

 

“I know.” He said and, overcome by a traitorous wave of fondness, hugged the smaller woman to his chest. This was his _mother._ How could he doubt she loved him? How could he allow himself to believer her incapable of love? _She is my_ **_mother._ ** “ _Yo tambien te quiero mama._ I love you too.”

 

And he almost didn't notice the limp way she hugged him in return.

 

**Saturday, October 15th, 2016**

**7:03am**

**Rowan Woods**

 

“You didn't sleep, did you?” Alex slowed his steps slightly to eavesdrop on Eliza’s soft question to Angelica, the two girls walking arm in arm.

 

“I was afraid if I closed my eyes, she would wake up.” Angelica practically whispered. “Plus, have you ever tried to sleep in those hospital chairs? My back is stiff as a motherfucker.”

 

“So,” Alex realized Lafayette, arm in his just like the two girls, had been talking to him, and to compensate for his guilt he gave the boy his full attention. “I'm thinking we take a road trip to Hollywood, find Jake Gyllenhaal, and you sing your little heart out in front of him.” Alex let out a sharp laugh, grinning at his friend.

 

“Only you Laf.” He shook his head, shoving a low tree branch to the side as they walked forward. “Why don't you tell me when Lee and Eacker are gonna die so I can buy popcorn?” Laf’s laugh was loud but Alex immediately recognized the distance in his eyes, especially when he offered no witty reply. Alex made a mental note to watch how he joked with the boy, usually capable of letting anything roll right off his back. _This alien shit really gets to him. Huh._

 

“I think your boyfriend is jealous.” Alex teased after a moment, glancing back where Mulligan and John walked together behind the sisters, both boys staring at them intently and immediately looking away once caught. Laf snickered.

 

“If he was really my boyfriend I would never make him jealous.” Laf sighed dreamily, then flashed Alex a smirk. “But in the meantime…” He leaned in and kissed Alex’s cheek sweetly, lingering a little, and both boys bit back snickers, pretending to be completely unaware of their two crushes trailing behind them.

 

It had the desired effect, as there was a loud shuffling behind them of twigs and dry leaves and suddenly, quite welcome, John and Mulligan were on either side of them. Alex and Laf exchanged quick, subtle glances of amusement before turning their attention to their respective boys.

 

“We need superhero names.” John said, literally walking in the bushes to stay by Alex’s side, and the shorter boy scoffed.

 

“Well I didn't get to choose mine so that's hardly fair. Plus, you don't even _have_ powers.” John’s enthusiasm wasn't curbed.

 

“I'm like the sexy intern that does the paperwork for you guys.” John joked. Alex wanted to intertwine their arms but John’s was hidden in a tight black sling, holding his shoulder securely in place. “Like Gwenyth Paltrow in _Iron Man._ ”

 

“Piper is a self sufficient woman.” Alex protested and John laughed.

 

“Oh,” He said in a low voice. “And _I'm_ the nerd?” Alex opened his mouth to protest and heard Lafayette giggle beside him.

 

“Alexander is a nerd about select things.” Laf replied and Alex noticed the way his hand was now enveloped in Mulligans, fingers not interlaced. The two always skirted such a strange line. Holding hands was, apparently, a completely platonic activity so long as they didn’t slot their fingers together. _I swear to god, one day I’m just locking them in a closet together._  “Like weird math fun facts and the entire history of musical theater and Barbra Streisand.” Alex inhaled sharply, a little embarrassed. “As if there’s any such thing as _fun_ math facts.”

 

“Don't talk about Babs or math in that tone.” He said and John tripped, shaking in silent laughter.

 

At the very back of the row of misfits, Thomas was uncharacteristically quiet. James gave him a nudge.

 

“Hey,” He had never been afraid to speak around Thomas, but lately his voice had been rising stronger than ever. No stutter interrupted him, made his heart pound. No time for anyone to lose interest in the things he had to say. “You okay?”

 

“We didn't even talk about this.” Thomas grumbled, speaking low enough that the others- much too damn cheery in his opinion- couldn't hear. “An alien tells us to come back and we all just meet here, at 7 in the morning on a fucking Saturday, without question.”

 

“We would’ve been up early anyway.” James reminded his boyfriend gently, as they had a standing breakfast date. Thomas attempted to take a deep breath, not wanting to take his fury out on his boyfriend.

 

Because if he was being honest with himself, Thomas wasn't angry at all. He was scared shittless, a feeling he had perhaps never before experienced. After that first night, meeting Aaron the Alien (as he had mentally dubbed him), and hearing the warning “ _you could teleport yourself out of existence_ ”. It was haunting. What if Thomas accidentally teleported himself into space and choked to death? Or the bottom of the ocean? What would James do without him?

 

 _I don't want to do this. I don't want_ **_James_ ** _to do this._

 

For Thomas, he was worried about the best person and thing to ever happen to him even more than he was worried for himself. And it was easier to blame Alexander than to confront the notion that there were forces outside of his control, otherworldly forces. Because it was terrifying enough to suddenly face a reality where there was no God, not like Thomas had ever understood. A reality where beings of infinite power existed and wanted him dead. A reality where he was small, so fucking small, that his existence was like a grain of sand to these cosmic giants and Aaron would be watching over the Earth long after his children’s children's children’s children were dead.

 

No, it was easier to blame Alex.

 

“I don't see the _point_ in this James.” He grumbled, allowing James to place their intertwined hands inside his jacket pocket. “Some alien thing teaches us how to wield these fucking _weapons_ or whatever and then what? We fight? We die or we win and then you know what happens next? We fight some _more._ Now we never stop fighting because something wants us _dead.”_ And Thomas didn't mind fighting, he had been fighting all his life. But the stakes were too high. If he let his guard down, James could get hurt. “Fucking Alexander.” He growled, unaware of the way his boyfriend turned to him in surprise.

 

“Alex didn't do this to us Thomas.” James said softly. Thomas hadn’t been aware of the stutter in the same way the others were, it had never been a nuisance to him, but now that it was gone he was hyper aware of the _sound_ of his boyfriend’s voice. It was smooth like honey, where it had always before been as brittle as a sheet of glass, afraid. “Nobody did this to us. It’s nobody’s fault.”

 

 _Wasn’t it though?_ Thomas remembered that night with extreme clarity.

 

It was the little gang of losers’ famous bonfire. When James had told Thomas that he was invited, the boy had privately been over the moon. He had thought all of James’ friends hated him; Alexander certainly made no secret of it, and neither did the rest of the entire fucking school.

 

“I don’t kn-kn-know.” James had said cautiously, clearly aware of the hope in Thomas’ eyes. “I don’t think it’s a g-g-good idea fuh-for you and Alex to muh-muh-mix.” Thomas had taken that comment very personally. _He’s embarrassed of you._

 

“They’re your best friends.” Thomas had protested but very weakly. The idea that James wanted to hide a part of himself from Thomas wounded him deeply, playing on the nagging insecurity that he was inherently unlikeable. That James didn’t trust Thomas to put his best foot forward for the boy’s little clique. “I’ve eaten lunch with y’all before. Why’s this different?” James had merely shrugged.

 

“I don’t….” He paused and Thomas wasn’t sure if it was reluctance to speak or his stutter cutting him off. “I don’t want you to feel like the outsider. B-b-but we can g-g-g-go if you really wha-want.”

 

And Thomas had wanted. Thomas had _insisted._

 

_He could’ve been safe at home. You two could’ve watched a movie, cuddled, had a sweet and innocent night in._

 

But Thomas had wanted to be a part of something. And now he was, in the worst possible way.

 

_And it wasn’t Alex who dragged James into this._

 

Alex, meanwhile, unknowingly snapped Thomas out of his self deprecating thoughts when he halted at the edge of the clearing, aware only of his heart pounding and of John at his side.

 

“Okay,” He took a long breath. “Is everybody ready for-”

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Angelica, sensing from experience that Alexander was about to embark on some soul bearing, time consuming monologue, interrupted him with a shove to the front and pushed past the trees.

 

Alex didn’t think John was taking this seriously enough, as the boy merely shrugged, but he threw a secret little grin Alex’s way and it was hard to be annoyed. They all followed Angelica back into the clearing and unanimously formed a crescent shaped line, all facing the center, all touching one another in some way. Connected.

 

The perfectly circular clearing was empty. No orbs, no Aaron. Nothing was waiting for them in the center. And Alex noticed that the ground was dry and seemed to crackle slightly underfoot, the green dull and muted. _The grass is dying._ He wondered if there was any correlation.

 

“Sick so, when does he show up?” John was looking around eagerly and Thomas and Angelica, without being aware of it, rolled their eyes in perfect unison.

 

“Yeah, where is he?” Laf asked, tilting his head. His hair was tied back much more lazily than usual, a comical amount of loose hairs frizzing out around his face, and Alex fought the urge to brush them back for the boy. Mulligan probably wouldn’t appreciate it.

 

He looked away from his friend’s soft gaze and realized all eyes were on him, a sensation he was unconsciously becoming accustomed to.

 

“How should I know?” He said grouchily, crossing his arms and folding in on himself a little.

 

“Well he seemed to have a real boner for you yesterday.” Angelica said dryly and Eliza elbowed her roughly.

 

“Maybe this is like a test or something.” Mulligan must not have had his coffee, as his usually booming voice barely carried past Laf. “He’s gonna surprise us to test our powers or weapons or whatever.”

 

“No,” Eliza shook her head and Alex deeply admired the confidence in her tone and posture. “He wouldn’t do that.”

 

“We don’t know that.” Thomas’ words came out rushed, like he had been holding back and could not bear to for a second longer. “We don’t know _shit._ ” His words were jolting. In the distance, a small cluster of birds abandoned their tree for the sky, his voice shattering the silence of the woods.

 

“Maybe-” Thomas went on. “-one of those Retrievers or whatever _killed_ him and we walked right into their trap. Maybe he’s one of them, and everything he told us yesterday was a lie to gain our trust. Maybe we’re about to be abducted. Maybe by coming here we’re endangering all of fucking humanity!” With every sentence his voice was raising louder and louder, eyes growing more frantic. “And _maybe,_ ” He broke their little half circle, stepping forward and turning to face Alex. “Instead of _flirting_ with that _thing_ we should have been questioning if any of this bullshit is real or not!” He laughed, the sound almost violent in its bitterness and fury. “Maybe this is one mass hallucination and we’ve all lost our _fucking minds!_ ” He was screaming now, voice raw. “And _maybe_ -”

 

“Thomas.” James said sharply, stepping forward a little, and that was it.

 

Alex watched in amazement as the boy in front of him deflated immediately, shoulders unclenching, a long breath being released, and his eyes almost hazing over with relaxation.

 

Where he had been screaming a moment before, Thomas now stood slowly swaying back and forth, eyelids ever so slightly drooping.

 

“What did you do to him?” Lafayette asked slowly and James’ eyes went wide.

 

“Oh god. I didn’t mean to...I….” James covered his mouth and Thomas shook his head slowly.

 

“No I,” Thomas’ voice was molasses, thick and slow flowing. “I’m fine. S’okay.” But it did not look like everything was _s’okay_.

 

“Really.” Alex waved a hand in front of his face, satisfied when Thomas’ eyes followed his movements. “Because you were about ready to murder me a second ago.”

 

“Fat chance.” John mumbled and Alex finally became aware of how tensely John was standing, the way he had edged closer to Alex. _He’s defensive of me._ He wondered if he could cash in on that interesting little discovery at school next time Eacker or Lee inevitably decided to make trouble for him.

 

“I just wanted him to calm down,” James said softly, stepping forward and taking his boyfriend’s hands. Thomas responded, shaking his head as if awakening from a trance. “That’s all.”

 

“Wow.” Thomas looked around, the usual sharpness (that Alex secretly envied) back in his gaze, motions no longer heavy. “What the fuck happened?” He spoke in a whisper, seemingly still mellowed out from whatever spell James had inadvertently put him under.

 

“See,” Angelica said with agitation. “This is _exactly_ why we need to be here. What if James had hurt Thomas?”

 

“I would never.” The boy almost squeaked and she faced him.

 

“Yeah, but you didn't do it on purpose, did you?” He went still at her words and slowly pulled away from Thomas, not trusting himself. Angelica took the place of where Thomas had been, standing before them all, eyes flashing. “None of us know what we’re capable of. One of us is already in the hospital.” Her voice wavered.

 

If Angelica were the type, Alex might hug her. But he wasn’t the type either, and he offered her his usual means of comfort; a steady gaze.

 

“It’s hard to trust Aaron.” She continued. “We have to take him at face value, and we have no way of knowing if he’s telling the truth. But,” She looked to Thomas. “We _have_ to trust him. Because he is our only hope right now. He’s Peggy’s only hope right now.”

 

The others nodded and Thomas looked down, secretly ashamed he had let himself snap like that. It wasn’t fair to the others, to James, and hell, even to Alexander.

 

“We need to all be in this together.” Angelica looked at each one of their faces in turn, something fragile yet unbearably strong in her eyes. “We need to all swear that we have each other’s backs, that we won’t doubt each other in this. That we can _trust_ each other.”

 

“Even me?” John asked softly and she nodded.

 

“Even you.” She said, the argument between them now completely forgiven. Standing in the clearing, where it all began, it was somehow clear to Angelica that John was an integral part of this.

 

 _Eight. There must be Eight._ Something echoed within her, some feeling whose meaning was on the tip of her tongue, and she nodded again to herself. Peggy was not here, so John was the Eighth. He had to be.

 

“Should we like, slit our palms and do some kind of blood handshake?” Thomas asked dryly, obviously joking to anyone who knew him, but they all recoiled and threw him vaguely horrified looks, save James. Angelica in particular stepped back as if slapped. _No._ She knew, again with that same certainty.

 

“Jesus Thomas,” Alex said, rolling his eyes. “Don’t be so fucking dramatic, this isn’t Blood Brothers.”

 

“Nerd.” John whispered in a sing song voice and Alex elbowed him, biting back a smile.

 

“I swear.” Alex said, holding up his hand in a mock salute, throwing Thomas a little glare.

 

“I swear.” Eliza imitated his pose, one hand up, solemnly, and Alex felt a little like an ass. This wasn’t the time for jokes, even at Thomas’ expense, however tempting.

 

“I swear.” Laf said next, looking at Mulligan and Mulligan alone.

 

“I swear.” The quarterback echoed, meeting Laf’s gaze with equal intensity. Alex had to turn away, it felt intrusive.

 

“I swear.” John spoke hesitantly, looking around as if expecting to be turned away. “I swear.” He repeated, softer but with more certainty.

 

“I swear.” James and Thomas said in unison before grinning at each other. Lafayette made a mock gagging noise, as if he hadn’t just been equally as sickeningly in love.

 

“I swear.” Angelica finished, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, and looked around impatiently. “Now where is Aaron? Maybe morning is different for aliens.”

 

Alex opened his mouth to respond and a chill swept through him, like ice water had been poured over him without the factor of shock. He was just suddenly, not unpleasantly, cold all over.

 

“Do you guys-”

 

“Yeah.” John said, not needing Alex to finish his sentence. All eight of them had goosebumps covering any skin that was bare, shivering and unmoving.

 

_Not safe. Two days._

 

Alex almost screamed in surprise as, indescribably, a thought entered his mind that was not his own. It was not the usual voice with which his thoughts spoke. His _private, intimate, own_ thoughts. It felt horribly invasive. It felt like he had lost control of his body. It lasted only for a moment, and he never wanted to feel anything like that again.

 

 _For a second, for a heartbeat,_ He thought, breathing hard. _My mind was not my own._

 

There was a flash of darkness, like the sun had gone out, but it was quick enough that Alex might have just blinked and been too disoriented to realize it.

 

“Aaron isn’t coming.” He spoke finally, like the words were a script he had memorized while sleepwalking. He didn’t know how he knew the words, but he knew them. “It...it isn’t safe for him. We have to come back Monday.”

 

“Alexander?” Eliza’s voice said after a moment and Alex blinked, wondering why they all seemed so tall. Wondering why he felt so dizzy.

 

 _Oh._ He was sitting on the ground now. When had that happened?

 

“Sorry I just…” He shut his eyes, afraid he might vomit from the nausea unexpectedly sweeping through him. “Needed to sit.”

 

“Alex, you fell.” _John._

 

John was now sitting beside him, but his voice was distant, like from behind a glass wall. Someone was on his other side too, holding his hand, but Alex couldn’t make his head turn.

 

“Sorry I’m just….dizzy.” He laid down on his back, eyes towards the clouds. _Much better._

 

“His pulse is racing.” Laf’s voice. Two fingers on his wrist. But Alex couldn’t look away from the clouds.

 

“Well, he was out for a good thirty seconds. I don’t think he was breathing.” Mulligan’s voice, the words making Alex tense up in fear.

 

“I was?” Why was everything so confusing. “I...I fainted?”

 

“Everyone just shut up.” John snapped, hovering over Alex so he was now in the boy’s line of vision. A welcome sight. “He’s disoriented.”

 

“I’m okay.” Alex insisted and finally was able to push himself forward, sitting up, and facing all of his friends, now squatting over the grass to examine Alex on his level. He frowned. “It just got really cold and then-”

 

“And then you said something weird. You just...made weird sounds.” Lafayette said, voice wavering fearfully, still clutching Alex’s hand. Fingers intertwined. “Like-”

 

“A different language.” Thomas said thoughtfully and Alex looked at Angelica, who nodded.

 

“I….I felt Aaron here.” Alex explained, again not sure how he knew this. But he knew. “He told me it wasn’t safe for him here. That we needed to come back Monday.”

 

“Aaron did say his natural form was weird for humans to perceive.” Mulligan noted, eyes on Laf and Alex’s hands. “Maybe him being so close to Alex fucked with him.”

 

“So,” John looked confused. “You’re okay Alex? He didn’t like, alien probe your mind or anything?”

 

“Nerd.” Alex teased weakly, deeply proud that they now had their own little inside joke, and was relieved to see the boy smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just woozy.”

 

“Monday.” Angelica stood up, clearly satisfied with Alex’s assurance. “We can come back right after school. Ditch practice.”

 

“I thought the goal was not to raise suspicion.” Mulligan raised an eyebrow. “You think if the quarterback and the linebacker didn’t show up to practice people wouldn’t think something’s up?”

 

“Or the head cheerleader.” Laf added, a little defensively. Angelica sighed.

 

“Fine. _Fine._ After practice.”

 

“You sure you’re okay?” John touched Alex’s shoulder with his good arm and the boy smiled, standing up and helping John to his feet.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“But,” Eliza frowned, looking at Alex with intensity. “It’s just….no. Nevermind.” Alex shivered.

 

“What is it ‘Liza?” He prompted, wondering vaguely why none of the others had been affected.

 

“How do we know it was Aaron who got to Alex?” She asked, looking around as if any of them had any real answers. “Since he has the same form of the Retrievers. How do we know?”

 

“I guess we don’t.” Alex said after an uncomfortable silence, wary eyes on him, and he shrugged. “I’m fine guys. Let’s just head back.”

 

They all gradually nodded and Alex leaned into John, trying to ignore the dizziness still clouding his mind. And the distinct feeling of being watched

 

**Saturday, May 6th, 2006**

**Lighthouse Foster Care**

**7:23am**

 

Alexander yawned, blinking his sleepy eyes open and leaning forward in the _very_ uncomfortable plastic chair he had been left in the temporary custody of. _Ha_ . That was his favorite phrase. _Temporary custody._ In New York the chairs had always been cushioned, with little flaking vinyl covers that he could vengefully pick at while he waited and waited for his _caseworker._

 

Ms. Williams, as she insisted he call her, was the only true constant in his life. At least, that he could remember. Alex had faint, foggy recollections of a woman with dark hair. A voice that would sing to him. But that was all. Not enough to miss. No, Alexander would not even learn his life was lacking in any way until Ms. Williams oversaw his enrollment into the first grade. Where he would be educated on the English alphabet as well as educated on the cruelty of other seven year olds. Instead, the world he knew was his _caseworker_ , such a funny word, Ms Williams and her cold but steady gaze. She cared for him, that much was obvious. Alexander wasn't a stupid kid. But she cared from a distance.

 

“Tired?” A voice asked, the first person to actually direct a question to Alexander all day, but that wasn't what caught the boy's attention.

 

The voice had spoke in French.

 

He glanced up and noticed the small boy who was seated in the chair adjacent to him, tilting his head.

 

He was a scrawny kid with dark skin and short, curly hair, clipped down almost to the scalp. The boy was smiling, kicking his legs back and forth, and Alex frowned in confusion. You didn't smile in the foster care agencies. You waited for them to dole out your sentence and hope the bed you slept in tonight was softer than the last.

 

“Yeah.” Alex responded in French, a comfort washing over him that he had almost forgotten existed. “I hate waking up early. But I finally have a new home.”

 

The few other occupants of the room, mostly adults with magazines, ignored them completely, probably not understanding a lick. Alex liked that; the idea that he held some secret over the adults that so controlled his existence. Possessed some knowledge that they, always condescending and coddling, did not.

 

“Me too!” The boy, too chipper for such an hour, jumped out of his seat and moved into the chair beside Alex, a little too close, but the lonely boy found he didn't particularly mind. “In Yorktown.”

 

“Yorktown?” Now Alex felt excitement course through him that his new best friend (as he had just decided the boy was) might go to the same school, according to the minimal information Ms Williams had given him. “Me too!”

 

“I'm from France.” The boy declared, puffing his chest out. “My parents died in a plane crash and wanted me to live with my cousin in America! But he died too.”

 

“ _Me too._ ” Alex’s eyes were huge, and he maneuvered to face the boy in the chair, sitting criss cross applesauce. A posture Ms. Williams always scolded him for. “Well, not France. _I'm_ from the Caribbean.” He grinned, as his origins were _obviously_ superior. “But my parents are dead too!”

 

A door opened behind them and Alex flinched, expecting Ms. Williams to emerge and ship him off to his next _temporary guardian_ for god knew how long. But it was only a man with a clipboard, not even glancing their way as he walked down the long hallway away from them. Adults always seemed to do that, Alex noted. Look right over your head, like you weren't even there. Like you had to be a certain age to be considered a person and not a plaything.

 

The anxiety he had felt at the sound of the door caused a sudden seriousness to grip Alexander; he could be torn from this instant, this location, in a heartbeat. He suddenly grabbed the boy’s wrists in his own, looking at him intently.

 

“Be my friend.”

 

“Yes.” He said without hesitation, his cheeky grin replaced by an expression of equal weight.

 

“Promise?”

 

“Promise.” At the boy’s fervent nod, Alex relaxed and released his wrists, smile returning, already forgetting the severity of the moment.

 

But he wouldn't forget the weight of their vow.

 

“I'm Alexander.” He said, in English, and the boy nodded.

 

“You can call me Gilbert.” He said softly, still speaking in French, and grinned hugely at Alex. “Alexander.” He said slowly, testing the name. “Alexander.” He repeated, this time with a mock American accent and Alex burst out into giggles. He sounded just like Ms Williams.

 

“Gilbert.” Alex said, imitating the boy’s accent, and Gilbert politely ignored how thickly Alex failed.

 

“English is hard.” Gilbert whined, rubbing the back of his neck. Alex sat as still as a statue while the boy continuously figeted. “America is so pretty. And the people are so nice.” Alex snorted incredulously.

 

“Nobody here wants to keep kids. How old are you?” He switched back to French at the topic change, Gilbert taking a moment to respond as he mouthed the words, slowly translating. _Nobody here wants to keep kids._

 

“Six.”

 

“Well I'm seven.” Alex said with incredible wisdom, holding his chin up. “Trust me. We'll probably move houses within a week. Maybe they'll put us together one day.” He said optimistically, unaware that Gilbert was barely listening, eyes distant.

 

“The strangers in France are not nice.” He shook his head slowly. “My last home, they hurt me.” Alex didn't need a further explanation than that. He put his hand over Gilbert’s, feeling protective of him. He was older, after all.

 

“They won't hurt you here.” He said sincerely, not possibly able to comprehend that it was a promise he couldn't keep. “We can look out for each other. People who don't belong in America.”

 

“Immigrants.” Gilbert said, and Alex wondered what the English word was. He wasn't sure, but the sound of it in French was comforting. A title that bonded them. The first time he would hear it in English, it would be used as an insult. But here and now, he felt warm and with a friend. Maybe his first ever.

 

“They made me cut my hair.” Alex grumbled and Gilbert nodded vehemently.

 

“Me too. I hate it.”

 

“When we grow up, we can wear it as long as we want.”

 

“When we grow up,” Gilbert’s eyes were gleaming. “We will be best friends. And no one will hurt us.”

 

“And I want to live on a farm.” Alex said stubbornly, annoyed that Gilbert had thought of something better to say. But the bitterness vanished when his new friend smiled at him.

 

“I used to have a pet horse.” Alexander gasped and then both boys jumped in unison as the door beside them swung open.

 

It wasn't Ms Williams but a small, fat man with tired eyes. He reminded Alex vaguely of a cartoon turtle.

 

“Lafayette. It's time to go.” Alex barely registered the man’s words, satisfied that it wasn't him being carted away just yet, when he noticed Gilbert reluctantly standing.

 

“It's my other name.” The boy mumbled to him and Alex nodded. The Turtle Man gave Alex a kind look.

 

“Say goodbye to your friend Lafayette.”

 

“Goodbye Alexander.” Gilbert said, again in the pseudo American voice, and Alex giggled. The moment was so amusing that he almost forgot he was going to be alone again.

 

“Goodbye Gilbert. I'll see you soon.” He swore, eyes intense, and the boy smiled.

 

“Probably not.” He said sadly, looking a lot older than six for a moment, before he waved at Alex. “But when we grow up, I'll find you.”

 

He started walking down the hallway, tall for his age, rivaling the very short Turtle Man for who stood straighter. Alex watched him go, the feeling of great loss painful and real. _Only girls cry._ He scolded himself, eyes burning.

 

“Not if I find you first!” He shouted down the hallway and, just before rounding the corner, Gilbert looked back and beamed at him.

 

It would be a long three months before school started in September and, miraculously, the two boys would not only be in the same school, but reading partners in the same class.

 

And that would be the day Alexander discovered that, not only did boys also cry, but that tears could mean happiness too.

 

_Bye bye Gilbert._

 

Alexander sighed and leaned back against the wall, the plastic chair squeaking, and fell into a light sleep. He dreamt of horses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you've heard of john laurens with daddy issues, now get ready for MOMMY ISSUES
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> anyway please leave comments, I love scifi and every character is this and I am but a poor lonely gay who writes for nourishment
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> [COME TALK TO ME ON TUMBLR](http://angstyqueerfeminist.tumblr.com/)
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> side note if ur here because you love my other fic, I Know What I Want, I'll update soon, I promise. this month has just been SO BUSY FOR ME


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